It's was a dark night on Earth and the street lights are preventing the stars from coming out.  All that could be seen in the sky was darkness.  That is until a strange circle of lights started to slowly appear over head as the people of Earth watched frighteningly in aw.  It moved over the street and hovered above about 50ft. in the air when a brilliant beam of light quickly shined down so bright everyone had to cover their eyes at first.  As quickly as it came the lights disappeared and there was just darkness again.  What stood in front of them was a strange looking being about 4 ft. tall and green.  Mouths dropped and tongues rolled out when the 4 ft.  green alien started talk.

Greetings Earthlings!  Zerk is I and I is Zerk!  Zerk has traveled to Earth from his home planet *O&(*&(&&(* thousands of galaxies away on a mission to find one special specimen to go boingo boingo with and carry Zerk's seed so Zerk's specie can survive.  Sadly (as you Earthlings say) Zerk is the last of the Morganots that used to live on planet *O&(*&(&&(*.  The Puwtossers exterminated our kind unfortunately and Earth is the closest planet Zerk could seek refuge to.

Zerk is a peaceful being (until threatened) and means no harm to anyone...except for the special specimen that will carry Zerk's seed.  After the pregnancy the specimen will die from the pain it will cause.  

Zerk hopes to make lots of friends here on Earth and is trying Zerk's hardest to fit in as much as possible.  Zerk has met a few Earthlings so far such as Bojangles, TheDude and AnthonyCorelli and they have taught Zerk many healthy and moral duties that Zerk enjoys performing everyday.  Like the selling of narcotics, stealing, and of course the ever beloved punching store owners in the face when store owners don't pay their damn protection money!  Those cheap bastards!....Anyway, Zerk is very peaceful and enjoys talking to Earthlings very much so if you'd like to talk send Zerk, as you Earthlings say, a "mobmail" and you can ask Zerk questions about Zerk's home planet and everything else that may be wondering.  Or just talk to Zerk right here in the streets and Zerk will be happy to reply.  If not, then Zerk wishes everyone a great night.

Zerk looked around and everyones mouths were still opened with shock.  Zerk waited around to see if anyone was wanted to talk.

I was trying my best to find you a way back to your home planet Zerk but your far more precious to me on Earth. I guess it's because the first time we met you scared the old lady into given you her purse.

Zerk was just doing Zerk's civil duty and helping the old lady out by lightening the weight on her shoulder caused by that dreaded purse she was carrying.  Zerk is a caring soul and is learning fast what is moral and what is not in your Earthlings society.  Like planting car bombs!  Zerk enjoys that very much.

However, Zerk can't leave until Zerk's seed has birthed.  Then Zerk will decide whether Zerk will stay or not.

A person living in Los Angeles by the name of Cybo can help you with birthing.

Zerk wonders if this Cybo is female or not.  Zerk's seed will only work in females.  Male Earthlings will only soul the seed.

SINGER stood in amazement a little alien was here. He heard about things that were not from this planet, but only now did he start to believe in their existance.

So...

SINGER pokes the Zerk.

You are not a human yet you are like a human, well more like a leperchaun. I am just so baffled. How do fellow Zerks spend their time?

Morganots like Zerk usually spend their time spraying their seed onto other Morganots and then eating their young.  Only the little Morganots that can escape will survive and grow up to do the same...we also play checkers.