Have you gotten any good advice?

Never use rubber cement as a lubricant.

Or icy hot. The icy feels pretty good, but the hot fucking BURNS! :|

Allways eat snow that is yellow, it might be beer...

Don't drop the soap! No, wait, you dropped it. NO, DON'T PICK IT U- ouch, tha- ew, I didn't think they really did this....... Good luck.

safe sex does not mean using Purel to wack off

Remember ladies, your mouth can't get pregnant.

Don't pull on supermans cape

Don't spit into the wind.

You don't pull the mask of an old lone ranger.

Sobriety and women dont match.

Never go to the beach after dark

If you know a russian that knows Sambo (somb-oh), be his best friend and never mess with him.

Always be drunk. Your body will naturally be able to get soft and not get hurt from anything.

Always assume the other person you're talking to is a woman. Therefore, avoiding any problems when you call a chick dude.

Beer cures everything.

Beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's promblems.

"Homer Simpson"

whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door....