So as we all know the arm-wrestling ring located in the Chicago business district has been closed.  I won't take up a lot of your time, as I know many of you have more pressing matters to tend to.  However I do want to take a brief moment to announce that I've relocated the operation to my new home city of Detroit.  But beware, it's located in the backroom of a very seedy establishment on 12th Street.  Not a nice part of town after dark.

Same rules apply to the new place as the old one, so no need to go into unnecessary detail here.

No not yet.  But the recent relocation may have caused confusion for a lot of people, which has slowed business down a small bit.  But these are minor obstacles that will sort themselves out and business will be booming again soon enough.

I did however extend a challenge recently, as a civilized means of settling a dispute, but my challenge was declined and the individual backed down.  Unsure why.  He holds a high position here in this thing of ours so perhaps he was afraid of losing face if he lost?  I don't know his reasoning but I would have very much liked for him to have accepted my challenge.  It could have brought a foolish dispute to an end, and having a high-profile mobster frequenting my joint is good publicity.

I would like to extend an official public challenge to puny-armed newspaper tycoon SeanCallan. If I am victorious, I regain editorial ownership of The Coconut Chronicle. If I am not, I will retire from serious journalism and dedicate my time to writing & recording the forthcoming reunion album from Coconut Randy & The Coconut Bandy, Love In The Time of Cholesterol. 

CoconutRandy, the Iron Bank will sponsor this event.

We could also provide judges?