So it appears that once again, Destro finds himself at the epicenter of controversy and mayhem.  This time regarding, you guessed it, another Iron Bank funded Writing Competition.  While there was once a period of time where I would bask in the infamy that comes with being the most villainous mobster in the country, that reputation and stigma has served its purpose and I've since grown both as a person and as a mafioso.  It's time to move on.  Time to distance myself from these @CommissarRverev sponsored writing contests.  Time to evolve.

There's been a lot of talk about the evil Destro both in the streets and in the press, some accurate but most of it far from it.  The rumors and allegations come mostly from these three sources: CoconutRandy (Left Hand Man to Don RupertGiles, Coconut Chronicle Editor-In_Chief), VIPCreditsGrin (Coconut Chronicle Intern/Reporter, boastful pickpocketeur), and PhillipMarleau (ice-skating rink attendant).  The allegations even go as far to suggest that former Chicago crewleader Shannon-Whelan was involved behind-the-scenes in the earlier contests, serving as both a financier and benefactor of the first and most lucrative contest, the 40 million dollar contest that put Destro on the map.  I'd like to address these claims first, and hopefully clear Shannon's name, sparing it from being dragged through the mud anymore than it already has.

The newspaper insinuated early on that Shannon might have had a heavy and sinister hand in the financing and outcome of the contest that I won.  All of this was speculation on the press's part and presented to the public as fact.  Now, much like poor Luc-DiCaprio, I need to come out and do damage control because of the skewed spin the media put on a story. 

So contrary to popular belief that it was me circulating these rumors, here is an excerpt from the Coconut Chronicle Special Report titled "Follow The Money", which can be read in its entirety here.  

While one commenter wonders if Destro's crewleader, Shannon-Whelan, saw any of the money, another states that she is among those who should be held accountable. Is there a connection to be drawn in the conspiracy that suggests Whelan's involvement? She stands alone of those mentioned in thanks for their contribution to the prize fund. It must be noted, as well, that one of the winners of competition #2 serves as her Right-Hand Man. 

I'll be accepting apologies from anyone that wrongly accused me of being the origin of this story.

So here are the facts.  The rumors that Shannon-Whelan played a sinister role in the original 40 million dollar writing contest that I won are exactly that.  Just rumors.  No proof stating otherwise.  At least none that would hold up in a court of law.  Now, am I going to stand up here and say that Shannon had nothing to do with funding that contest?  No.  Am I going to claim that she was not the biggest benefactor after the prize money was collected from CommissarRverev?  No.  Would it be wrong to say that she was literally the only crewleader to contribute to the funding of these contests?  No. 

Now, did Shannon-Whelan and I ever discuss tampering with or manipulating the outcome of the contest that I won so that she could walk away with the lionshare of the prize money?  Well, maybe I should remind you all of a little word called omerta.  What Shannon and I discussed in private is not something I am going to discuss on the streets.  I know Sharpe wouldn't appreciate if I publicly spoke about conversations that take place in his HQ, so I'm not going to disrespect Shannon-Whelan by doing it to her either just because she is no longer with us.  But she was a good woman and I'd like to ask that everybody just take my word for it please.

As to my own hand in these contests, accusations galore.  I was fortunate enough to strike it rich very early on in my career.  A few wise investments here and there saw that wealth grow, and here I stand today, still collecting revenue from these writing contests.  Vilified for something we should be encouraging rather than attacking, the entrepreneurial spirit.  But if I'm being honest with myself, is associating myself with contests that are connected to an entity such as the Iron Bank an example of that entrepreneurial spirit I look to promote?  No.  But as I said, these contests have served to benefit me a great deal.  But why even involve myself in an Iron Bank promotion?  Why not just start my own contest?

So that's what I'm going to do.  If you're sick of watching these writing contests continually devolve into angry spats, bloodshed, and violence, maybe give mine a chance.  This contest is COMPLETELY REMOVED FROM THE IRON BANK AND THE COMMISSAR.  I will be accepting no input and no funding from them.  In fact, I won't be accepting input or funding from anybody.  This contest will be funded solely by me, yours truly, Destro.

This being an independent venture, my contest won't offer prizes as elaborate as The Commissar was able to flaunt with his, but there won't be any of his, dare I say it, "shenanigans" involved in it either.  Most likely just a first and second prize, probably nothing that will exceed a few million dollars.  But the demands and expectations will be easier as well.

Its time I move from high-profile brazen criminal activity to more legitimized areas of business.  I ask you see past my villainous ways and give Destro a chance to show you how a contest should be run.  Details to follow.

Thank you for listening, and may Shannon-Whelan finally find peace knowing her name has been cleared.  I meant what I said about her being a good woman, and have paid top-dollar for an artist to paint a black-and-white rendering of Shannon and I that I like to call "Us".  Salut.

What will entrants have to do?  And are employees of the Iron Bank allowed to enter?

I will post details separately.  And this contest is open for all to participate in.

The Whelan of time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the age that gave it birth comes again. 

As a Left-Hand Man, a newspaper editor, and the CEO of Coconut Corp, it is under the weight of many hats that I tell you I hope this path of reform is a permanent one. If anything, it would be a huge boon to the Coconut Chronicle investigative team if, in our pursuit of serious and meaningful journalism, we did not find ourselves perpetually halted by and tangled in your elaborate webs of schemes and chicanery. 

While that is not to say we will cease any and all reporting on your villainy should it rear its treacherous head once more, as it is our duty as serious journalists to take note of such matters, it stands to reason that we will not have to worry should you conduct yourself in the manner portrayed by the beautiful drawing you have presented to the crowd; a sweet, caring and kind Destro, runner of competitions, non-enemy of Coconut Randy. 

Godspeed. 

It's just a painting PhillipMarleau.  Relax.  It was intended to honor, not insult.  

Thank you for taking a stand Mr. PhillipMarleau. I applaud you in your efforts to that not everyone is fine with this thrash.

Some if us have children, had I wanted them to se something as obscene as this filth Mr. Destro keeps parading around I would have sent them down to the abandoned restroom in the basement at the Coconut Corp HQ where my associate Schaudt teaches MariaReynolds a very creative form of CPR. 

We dont need this debauchery and Im sad to se you are the only one standing up to Destro.