The Commissar is driven to speaker's corner, beside the now famous notice covered lamppost.  He steps out and begins to speak...

"Friends, we live in exciting times.  The incentivised competitive writing community has suffered recently.  Suffered from deaths, from a lack of morale, from a dearth of applications to previous contests.  So it is that I announce a new, and radical, approach.

I want a speech, given here, with a written copy attached to the lamppost.  300 to 500 words.  

But there will be no winners.  In fact, there will be no losers.  Because the winner will be selected by a complex methodology that involves counting how much is left in the entrant's tip jar!  More traditional methods of judgement will also be used, and we will of course be on the lookout for those that might abuse the new procedure, but this is a more open and democratic way of deducing popularity.

We will also factor in quality, though.

The result will be, I hope, a lively competition.

It's going to be trialled today - with a deadline of 23:00 today.  Tight, I know, but this is a trail run.

So, get going!!!

Just to say, LiLi, CoconutRandy and MarcelloCapizzi should enter this one.

Lili was standing in front of the lamppost where she a couple of days a go had put a transcript of speech that had almost delivered her 100 million dollars. She could still feel the same excitement as she did when she was waiting for the judges verdict. That had ended in disappointment. She could still hear the words when the Commissar had canceled it due to lack of participants. Or wait... Was those real words? LiLi spun around and could see the Commissar in the middle of announcing another competition. The excitement returned. With no time to prepare LiLi just went at it hoping the nervousness wouldn't show through.

First of all I just wanted to say thanks to CommissarZverev for not giving up. A couple of bumps in the road should never be enough to deter anyone from following their goals, their dreams. If you remember my last speech I’m a walking example on not giving up. You just have to pick yourself up and try again. I think there was this kinda smart person once saying “You never fail until you stop trying”.

I’ve been chasing the same goal or dream ever since I stepped off the boat, riches beyond belief. I’ve been doing it through heist, extortion, torture, murder, you name it. I even quite recently renovated a warehouse thinking it was something that would be well used by the likes of us. I’ve even been trying to make connections. So far nothing has worked out as planned. Don’t get me wrong, I get by, but it’s not like I’m swimming in it.

That got me thinking, which is never a good sign. But still the thoughts started spinning. So far I’ve had nothing but pain and suffering following my dreams, a lot of letdowns. A lot of disappointments. Would everything or anything have been different without a specific goal – dream – ambition? Would I have been where I am today without that specific thing to work towards? Do we need a light in the tunnel at all in order to become greats of our generation?

A life of crime is not easy. We all have a lot on our plate and we usually don’t have a very long life expectancy. We crawl our way from the sewers trying to reach as high as we can.  And for what purpose?

As I’ve said before I’ve always done it for the money. I’ve put one foot in front of the other in order to come up and follow through on ideas that will make me filthy rich. What I will do when I get there I have no idea. And perhaps that’s the purpose of it all. You wake up, you do whatever it takes to reach your goals and you go to bed. Perhaps that it’s what it’s all about. The thrill of the ride. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I’ll keep trying. I’ve been so close, so close reaching my goal. It would be a shame to stop now. It’s not a failure until you stop trying. Am I right CommissarZverev?

As she finished LiLi quickly sat down and started scribbling her speech down, to the best of her knowledge, on a napkin. She look it over quickly and then put it up on the lamppost. 

I had a request from someone to enter just after the deadline, this is a copy of their speech which I am reciting here and then pinning to the noticeboard on the lamppost...

Kuku emerges from City Hall's jail.  Dazed, pale, and slightly wild-eyed, his aides assist him to his soapbox.  He climbs on and addresses his friends, admirers, supporters, comrades and distinguished members of this thing.  

"Friends, it is not often that I have clashed with City Hall.  Some distant relatives of mine were persecuted by someone connected with City Hall.  This was no ordinary employee of City Hall, no, this was something quite different.  But that was then and this is now.

Kuku looks upset.  Several hardened criminals weep as they empathise with the great man.

"So, my friends, I would like to talk to you about what happened to me recently.  I was doing my usual thing, my daily hustle.  I don't feel that I have really had a good day without talking to some friends in my crew.  So that's what I did.  I approached them and said "I'm just doing my daily hustle!"  I thought nothing more of it, I continued on my way, making some money, and was enjoying a coffee in the coffee shops when...  When...

Kuku starts trembling - by this stage, few eyes are dry.  There is a widespread sense of a collective trauma being re-lived.

"Sorry, my friends, this is all very real.  Anyway, yes, I was doing my thing when a plain clothes officer, not FBN, this guy was a member of some kind of City Hall special squad, came over to me.  Being a friend to City Hall, I was blindsided when I was hit across the head.  I woke up in a dungeon in City Hall, with no recourse to a lawyer; no idea what my sentence or indeed crime was; and with no indication of when my trial might be.

I bribed warders to get words to my friends on the outside.  The support was overwhelming, and I thank you all...  But it's been no bed of roses.  No pleasure cruise."

Several reputed mob leaders  collapse with emotional stress.

"The #FreeKuku campaign was launched, and I was inundated with messages of support.  I can't taink you enough.  And, it seems, perhaps it worked, as I was freed, with no fanfare, earlier today.

I am still to have my detention officially declared.  But I have my freedom!

I hold no grudge against my assailant, kidnapper and denier of freedom.  I have his name, but I will not Tell.  Kin, he was not: he was not family, but he was known to me.  But his name, I shall not Tell.  Kind of like when you know a secret but will not Tell.  Kind of like knowing about corruption in City Hall years ago, but still, refusing to Tell.

Kinship is what makes this society go round.

That is my closing message.

I take some time off and this guy is still just jerking off next to lampposts and calling it a competition? Should have done a trail run instead. 

Bad day to work till 04:00. Ill catch another one. 

Thank you for the additional time but I seem to have missed that too. Its ok cant enter em all

 Narasimhaya, please, enter.  Your enthusiasm is infectious.

Speech 300-500 with multiple deadlines passed. 

I hate writers block. Like my mind is a tap that got turned off. Not a trickle not a drop, any given time I could pour forth like Niagra but here and now. 

Stumped. 

Give me 7 random words, I can tell you why I have a scorpion tattooed on my ass. Find out The Hobbit was published in '38 and I write entire chapters of this characters life but a speech, improved and impromptu given right then. I stare into the crowd and blither nonsense. 

(readers note)
at this point Nara has been hit with what he calls a time lapse. Sort of like his mind got hit with a bat and knocked out of the park. Sometimes for a little while, sometimes a bit longer. Sometimes he wakes up in another body and see bio sig for details. 

So I start to do the speech from "The Great Dictator" but that wont happen till 40. 

Friends, Romans, Countrymen,, This is from an entirely different century. 

Together we can make America great again,, oh hell no

Snapping back he got inspired, this is from this book I read. Its called "The Hobbit" 

“I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led. And through the air, I am he that walks unseen.

I am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly. I was chosen for the lucky number.

I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water. I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me.

I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles. I am Ringwinner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider."

"Good Morning. What does that mean? Do they wish me a good morning or mean it is weather I want it or not or that you feel good this morning? "

Thank you.

He turns and walks away, meanwhile a very confused sternographer translates this into a hard copy and posts it on a no parking sign.