It was a Tuesday evening, or was it a Wednesday? Maybe a...

Bang Bang.

I have just shot the narrator of this story because I did not like the story he was about to tell, instead, I present to you something else, a once in a lifetime fantastical tale about two young men about town who were going to change the course of the American mafia forever. One of them was a small queer fellow by the name of Ernie, not even five feet tall he stood; the other was different in stature but shared the same features in almost every way, some would call them the deformity brothers behind their back-- I was one of these such people. 

Bang Bang.

The second story-teller now lay dead on the floor, his body sprawled in the most demeaning of ways. For you see, I had been waiting for him to show his face around these parts again, for years I lay here on the ground completely still just waiting for him to step back out into the streets for another one of his trite stories and now with gun in hand I slew him for what he had done to my mother. For he, dear listeners... was my father...

Audible gasps.

Bang Bang.

That is where you were wrong, young soliloquist. For it is I who was your father, your Oedipustic attempt has failed and now you lay before me defeated. It is time for me to tell my story-- the only story worth telling about Bert and Ernie, for you see I was there with them the entire time-- they call me and, and this is where it all began...

1933 - The Swamps of New York City

It was a Tuesday evening, or was it a Wednesday? Maybe a Friday if you're so inclined to believe so. In fact, the day itself does not matter but rather the contents therein. For this was the day that Ernie would finally decide if he preferred roast beef or corn dogs; it was the day of the New York City Swamp Fair, which excuse me if you have never heard of it, the New York City Swamps aren't written in any history books and nor will they be around for much longer, just wait and let me finish my story, will you? 

"Hey, Bert! Are you ready yet? I need my favorite tie. I can't go to the New York Swamps State Fair without my favorite tie! The New York Swamps Mafia will be there! Everyone knows them. They're so popular, they'll surely be in the history books for decades to come.", a frazzled Ernie continued to tear through the house with the fervor of an angry overweight chipmunk until he finally had found what he had sought most of all, his lucky tie.

With the tie now improperly placed around his neck and completely untied as he did not have the proper skills to even wear such an adult fashion accessory, the men headed off to the fair. It was a fantastical sight, hundreds of people all wading through the disgusting green waters while they made their way to the festivities. Even the infamous Joe Tatorelli Bombelli would be there! Bert couldn't wait to get his autograph, but much like Daedalus he fathered a complete failure and had to chase after Ernie instead who had seen something shiny from the corner of his eye at the bottom of one of the pools of swampy waters. 

"There are alligators in there, boy!!"

Ernie however, due to a minor ear infection brought upon by a lack of showering could not hear the warnings and continued to dive deeper into the depths of the watering hole. Ah! Finally, he tugged at the object which pierced his eyes so and that's when the screaming began. You see, the swamps were held together by nothing more than a small innocuous plug that once removed would siphon all of the water deep down into the tunnel city that lay beneath New York and absolutely everyone has heard about up until its destruction in 1933 which is when the history books sadly stopped documenting it.

"Whoopsie!", Ernie shrugged and smiled while everyone died. The end.

Bang Bang.

That story was pretty stupid, huh? The writer is no longer with us, so don't worry... I've... taken care of him. He was caught working with the other side during a war, trust me. No, seriously. Trust me. I have proof, its uh... give me nine minutes to fabri- err, to go get it from the credible sources that I have. 

Bang Bang.

All of the orators are dead. I don't know many words say so I keep short, I just come America from boat. Hi. My name and, and I say this story true! Big good story! Like it, yeahhhhh! Please read! Gotta love it!

Bye.

Bang.

Don't listen to this story. It's terrible.

"Truly a story that will not be forgotten easily."

 Moose quickly moves from the corner as he notices the scattered corpses around

"ok boomer." spelled out Bert before pointing at Ivar.

As he heard Ivar's words his lip began to quiver and he knew at that very moment he was not born for this line of work.

"Goodbye."

FuriousWolf listened to the stiry and really agreed to it mostly and also got some tears in his eyes since it was so damn good descibed what have been going on lately. Lifes goes on for everyone and so also for him, he walks out again with those words in mind he just have listen to.