Having arrived on the shores of Los Angeles Mack heads towards downtown. Standing among the bustling citizens of downtown he scratches his head to the mass of people moving around. He flips a old milk crate upside down and stands on it. Coughing loudly to clear the stagnation in the air of the constant flow of traffic, Mack begins his structured sentence for the mass to hear.

"My fellow citizens of Los Angeles! Also those that may be traveling through the fine boroughs of our illustrious city. I come here today to offer my services as a man of the cloak. My ancestors have come here off and on throughout the years providing similar services to the once then citizens. So it is my honor to be providing you with the utmost best of services. If you would please direct your attention to this fine parchment."

  "If you have taken the time to see my abilities that can greatly enhance your already troubled lives and restore sanity accordingly through prayer and faith in our God almighty; I will be happy and willing to help you given a donation is put forth to the church. I have recently been given the right to own a church in Black Bottom Detroit that is open for prayers, confessions, vigils, weddings, funerals, and the like. So feel free to come by and come closer to God. Once you come by and speak to me personally I can give you the details to the service you are requesting. If you are unable to make it to Black Bottom, you can always send a wire to my home and I will read it once I have finished my duties for the day."

 Stepping off of his box he flips it back over looking to the crowd. He opens his arms wide closing his eyes as his hands point toward the sky.

"May God shine his celestial light upon thee and protect you and your family. Mighty blessings to you and all."

Premium Blessings- $2,500

Slight reclamation of sins-$1,500

Confessions-$5,000

Marriages-$150,000

Divorces-$50,000

Exorcisms-$350,000

Baptisms-$125,000

 Mack posts his posters throughout the streets in a attempt to bring the lost sheep back to God.

Father, I confess that I suffer today because of sin, both the sins I have chosen and the sins committed against me. I have done things I should not have done, and I have neglected to do those things I should have done. Save me from myself; save me from the forces of Evil in this world.

Amen.

"FatherMacklePenny, please forgive me for all sins I done in my life, I promise to try to be a better wolf and hope that I can manage to live by those hard words for me"

Furious tells five ave maria before he heads back out fro the church and well outside he stands and is still in good mood even after meeting this good father in this church.

Tommy comes in stumbling drunk with a lady who was also drunk with him. They sit down in one of the pews and start making out.

"Yesha sir. In Jesus Nameth. We be here."

They start saying random things in some weird jibberish that only they can understand. They start to make love but a priest shows up to kick them out. 

"Whay? Whay can I knot do thay heah? Dis shish Americah."

Tommy smashes his bottle and then runs away

PoshSpice walks in with white power on her nose, she sniffles and looks around to see some familiar faces, She walks around and offers them something to sniff

"I have a Question to ask FatherMacklePenny Do you do same sex marriages here?"

Father i shall be hitting the blackjack table tonigth and thus could use with your premium blessing so i can have luck with the cards and the ladys tonigth.

cheers father

Mack stumbles into his church piss drunk and toting a plastic bag dropping cocaine through a hole. He falls into the holy mother statue adorning the entrance foyer and yelps in pain. 

"My God, who in lords name put this here. *hic* Okay okay, time to check the donations tray.."

Mack wheels around to see one of his priests kicking out a drunk man and his dame. He chuckles as he smashes a bottle and runs from the annoyed priest, almost tripping the lad on his way out the door. 

"Don't let the door hit ya where the lor *hic* d split ya!" 

Behind him he can hear a small voice asking about same sex marriages. He takes a spoon scooping the holy cocaine and snorts as much as his nose can handle. 

"Now uh, missssss. I'll marry a horse to a *hic* man. I pretty much did down in Juarez. If you want to marry the woman of your dreams who am I to stop you." 

Mack takes a cigarette from his musty jacket and lights it with one of the lit prayer candles. He takes a long drag puffing intermittently as he analyzes the church goers. He chuckles as he flicks the cigarette at a alter boy. 
 

"Go on and clean the floors. Our *hic* guests have made a mess. You get it done and you get some candy. Now go collect money from the lord's people." 

Mack goes through the offering plate, taking what measly funds were left in the Lord's name. He pockets the cash and carries his cocaine to the back room where his liquor and women were waiting. Before he slams the door shut, he wheels around addressing the schmucks that are looking for a crutch.

"May *hic* God bless you annnnddd yer flock. Just leave enough money for the next day's holy cocaine."