Carol wandered the streets screaming like a madwoman. Finally, she gathered a small enough crowd to listen to her. She pulled out a fancy hat with a feather on it from her bag, along with a scroll. She unrolled the scroll and began to give her little speech.

"Hello, peoples of this world, Valentine's day is coming up, and I am calling on all writers to write me a nice love story, poem, anything in writing form, for me to read to my other half, Cassi, on the 14th. Whatever you come up with must go well with a nice bottle of Arbor Mist Blackberry Merlot from 1929. The rules go like this:

1 - You must be okay with me claiming I wrote it myself. There's nothing women hate more than knowing their other half cheaped out.

2 - You obviously can't tell her and ruin the surprise.

3 - You must post it here, I don't want my mailbox filled with love stuff. 

4 - Nothing weird, or explicit. 

Oh, and I'll pay you 15 credits if you were the best. You get brownies if I get lucky. You have until the 14th."

Carol stepped off the box she somehow found herself standing on, and watched as the peoples of this world shuffled away, giving her weird looks. 

Can you please expand on one of the qualifications below to ensure that there is no misunderstand.

4 - Nothing weird, or explicit.

What exactly are we considering weird?  

Bombadil sat at his desk with a ton of paperwork in front of him. The numbers from his legitimate businesses came in and the Mayor needed the taxes from those businesses. As he wrote a few calculations on a notepad, a delivery person from the telegraph office came in and dropped off a notification that CarolHathoway was in need of assistance. She was calling for writing submissions that would help her with a Valentine's gift for her 'other half', Cassi. Bombadil thought of some ideas and looked around at some of the other submissions. He thought to himself, "Maybe a simple love letter will do. Hhhmm, something that won't take up too much time but still get the point across."

Not completely knowing the history of the relationship between these individuals, Bombadil remembered a love of his own and wrote as if he were writing to her:

----------

Dearest Cassi,

I would sail around the globe twice to search for your smile. I would burn in hell to keep you from shedding a tear in sadness. Most beautiful creature. It is cruel that it took so long to find you. You have enchanted me, for you are the fairest of all the children of the world.

You are both my prayer, and my answer. My sweet Valentine.

If you say goodbye, my smile would die, but be brought back to life when I kiss your hands. You are all that I think and plan. Although I might not deserve you, would you be mine?

----------

"Hope this helps...", Bombadil muttered as he gave the letter to his assistant to take to the telegraph office.

Carol stood back up on her box screaming like a mad woman. Her tights were quite itchy and she wondered how she found herself in a leotard. Once again, she pulled out her feathered hat and scroll. As she unraveled the scroll she began her speech.

"Ahem. Hello again, peoples. It has come to my attention that not everyone here has the capability of writing love letters. How unfortunate. However, I am basically throwing free money at you. It could literally be one sentence. Just write something nice about the damn woman, she's the best, you can't even deny it!"

Carol got off the box and fixed her tights once more. Those things were itchy as hell.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Candy is sweet 

And so are you

Da Endz

Here I say it 

Same as ever

Took a dump and pulled the lever

The toilet clogged

The water flowed

Watch out world, it's a motherload.

Roses are red,

I'm very clever,

I love your bum,

I'll touch it forever.

Roses are red, violets are blue, let's get together and make dreams come true.

Wolfs are careless

Dinos are frightfully

Forest are green

Trees are big

Tutte he pees on trees and are afraid of dark woods

In dark wood lives dangerou bad wolfs and Tutte always stays out of those

Tutte is an awesome creature that forever loves his Queen.

Carol stood on box once more with her love Cassi infront of her. She knew her lover adored her in tights. Carol got on one knee and began to look deep into Cassi's eyes. 

"Cassi...."

Carol began to read AnthonyTanziniJr's letter, and shed a few tears.

"Thank you for being the best person you can be at all times, you are a great friend, woman, and confidant. The love I have for you is undeinable and no matter what, you can always count on me to be there for you. Happy Valentine's Day! You deserve the world and much more."

All of the sudden, Cassi was gone, and Carol's heart broke into a million pieces. How could anyone take the life of such a kind innocent soul?