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| The Cheese: Exposed | Started by: Mr_47 on Feb 20, '08 23:51 |
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That's right, after noticing a conversation over on Avenue de OOC, I have decided to expose The Prince of Cheese once and for all. Put your pants back on, boss. Let's go over to our HQ and take a look inside the Halls of The Cheese. *opens door* Here, you see our donation plate. Ok, it's just Zephyr standing in the doorway with a gun. This is where we leave our hard-earned money. From here, it goes into the giant pit of money, which is three stories below us. Now, it's time for the body cavity search, just to make sure we didn't keep any cash from The Cheese. *Zephyr snaps latex glove onto his hand.* Now, we enter the main hall, our shrine area. Notice the giant letters "CP" at the front of the room. Here is where we pay homage to the great CP, princes of the universe. Kneel with me and let's repeat the CP oath. I, your name here, do solemnly pledge allegiance to The Prince of Cheese, and thereby to CP. I will serve as a pawn for the games of CP, whom I will never refer to as "Crap Packers, Cunt Pussies, Cock Peckers, Cum Pissers", or any combination of the aforementioned profanity. I also swear that, in the event of CP's boredom, I will die so that they may declare war on someone for my death. So help me Cheese. Rise, and let's move on, to the secret innerworkings of the crew. This is where we keep the toilet paper. This is where we keep the - Animal! Get out of the closet! - Where was I? Oh yes, here is where The Cheesy One keeps his private stack of pornography. Oh look, our secret plan to kill the other crewleaders is hanging there on the wall. The secret crew structure is hanging there, too. Now, to our basement level. This room is where we're working on our alien autopsy. The ship landed here about 1920, we've had it ever since. Over here, you can see where we faked the moon landing, and over there is Lincoln's brain. Here's where we experiment on small animals, looking for the perfect weapon, and here is where we keep the fish aquariums. Here's the kitchen and the garage. And here's where we line up unsponsored gangsters and shoot them in the face. Die, gangsters, die! So, that's a day in the life of a Cheesy member. Basically, we give every dime we make to Cheese, he buys guns and guards, and we kill innocent children and women. What a crew! |
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Sadly for you, after the antics of Leonardo, this exposure is about as scandalous as nude photos of Leonardo's mama. After the first twenty times they've been passed around, the shock value is lost. Body cavity search, you say? I always wondered why certain recruits flocked to New York. Let me guess, they leave and come back again repeatedly, even when they have nowhere to go? Oh yeah, and you forgot "Cock Pushers". |
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| Reply by: FlyingPig at Feb 20, '08 23:57 | |
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This is where we keep the - Animal! Get out of the closet! Its more like a small guest room but i like it.... |
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| Reply by: Animal at Feb 21, '08 00:05 | |
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Feels naked Exposed eh? I wish Zephyr wore clothes whilst he stood by the begging plate, sort of devaluing isn't it? A wonderful and accurate depiction of life with the PrinceofCheese though. However, I do wonder who these innoccents are...we are all mafioso no? Sounds like discretionary levels of innocent which in simple terms is better described as: Crap |
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| Reply by: PrinceofCheese at Feb 21, '08 04:39 | |
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I have heard rummors of free cake too. but GLaDOS said the same thing :/ |
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| Reply by: Doug-Butabi at Feb 21, '08 05:11 | |
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There is cake. CHEESEcake. Hahahaha... Ok, they're not innocent children. Leave it to the boss to ruin my scandalous report. They're midgets. Evil little clown and mime midgets and we blow their heads off to protect the general public. But, I did forget to tell you about the sub-basement, where we have our chorus line practice. |
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| Reply by: Mr_47 at Feb 21, '08 10:06 | |
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And by chorous line he means Cheezo Choir Get involved. |
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| Reply by: PrinceofCheese at Feb 21, '08 10:14 | |
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