A small kiosk has been erected upon the corner of an otherwise unremarkable street. Emblazoned across the front of it are the words "WITNESS INFORMATION STATION". Sitting behind the station with a great big smile on his giant yellow face is local Wise Guy and one half of the famous Grooglez-Grin conversation, Grin-03.

Friends, it seems like every day I receive a message from one or other of the more powerful mobsters within the country, requesting information about a murder of one of our own. If I'm not reading the request, I'm hearing it said at funerals and spoken at gravesides. Given that hours and even days often go by after these requests are made without anything happening (a bit like when you're talking with Grooglez), I am beginning to wonder what's going on.

Now, I can already hear you asking yourself, 'what's that dumb nerd pussy up to now?', but please let me just place on record that this is not rabble rousing or instigating, far from it. I think Whoreable and Grooglez cleared up my mistake in relation to creative ways to purge and this obviously isn't happening. People around 50+ days old get shot in their sleep all the time with nobody knowing anything about it. It seems perfectly plausible to me that a witness is being sought to these evil deeds and the culprit(s) will no doubt be brought to street justice when caught.

Therein lies the problem though, we have a distinct lack of witnesses coming forward to murders. This frustrates our leaders' ability to avenge us when we are shot down by persons unknown and that is making me very upset. I have thought about what I could do to assist them as they are obviously very busy not sitting around thinking up creative ways to purge, and I came up with this.

He gestures to the kiosk.

This will not only serve as a handy place for witnesses to come forward with information, but I will use it as my base of operations to assist in locating witnesses. I will try to find out further information about the murders that are taking out prominent members of our organisations. Men and women who've made their bones or associates still hustling to make a name for themselves like me; we're all important and I'll try my best to shed some light on what has gone on. 

I am also happy to be contracted by any individual within the country who wishes for me to look more closely at any recent murder. I understand this can be a sensitive matter, so please feel free to contact me directly, or even confidentially if you prefer, and I'll gladly hunt for clues on your behalf.

The first murder I'm currently looking to assist with is that of Don Four, from the EnricoCalabrese outfit from 12th Street, Detroit. The details are currently a little thin on the ground. He was slain around 10am this morning. Rambozo sent out a request for information to all of the other families. Based on the obituaries, the killer is still currently at large so please be careful out there. Any and all information would be greatly appreciated and this can be said to me here, where I will be manning the kiosk, or in the alternative sent to my mailbox which is also always open. Thank you.

Solid service you are offering here sir. I wish you well in your venture.

Spencer, Crisp, thank you for your kind words. The endorsement of fine individuals such as yourselves is greatly appreciated.

I'm further pleased to announce that the Witness Information Station has received it's first piece of information. I have been not so reliably informed by an anonymous tipster that Don @EncricoCalabrese's man, Don Four, was murdered by DougRoss. I can't confirm the veracity of this information, but I have supplied it up the chain in the hopes that it is either confirmed to be incorrect or acted upon accordingly. 

Perhaps our first mystery has been solved? I really hope so. 

Silly me, I of course meant EnricoCalabrese's man, Don Four. I don't even know who EncricoCalabrese is...

I do not necessarily wish to sound flippant but if the witness is found, someone will be able to Connect Four...

Seems like a kuku-train came by and made the purge again, oh my, hope really all are good with Four and everything no are settled.

Don't worry chaps, I'm here to carry on my father's work and get to the bottom of recent murders.

FuriousWolf, whilst this service is here to help, we can only assist those who make their feelings known in English. Can you try again please?