THE STAR-EXAMINER

Thursday, February 22, 1942       Issue Number 5

Breaking news: Mass DDs

It seems the gods have decided to remove a substantial amount of crew leaders and other important members of this world of ours. The coffee shop group known as niflheim or more recently blackwater have all been killed by the gods for breaking the rules.

How this will affect organised crime in our world going forward is to early to say. But you can count on The Star-Examiner the be here and gave you the latest scoop!

Early reports state that a huge bus came lumbering down the street and crashed into the coffee shop that there were gathering in.

Waiting for further confirmation. 

coffee shops are the worse 

The committee is currently in the process of drafting legislation for the mandating of bus-proof windows. This is in direct result to the past week's tragic deaths from multiple bus accidents. Moreover, the Department of Transportation has decided to review the process for which bus drivers obtain their licenses. 

Bus companies have spoken out against this, saying freak accidents involving buses happen all the time and do not, in fact, require any additional countermeasures; they are a way of life. 

We recently interviewed one pedestrian who witnessed a bus accident involving multiple potentially mob-related fatalities: "I think it's so sad that nowadays we live in a world where people want to stop tragic bus accidents. My parents grew up in a small town of around, oh, two hundred or so people, and they did not nearly complain as much about bus accidents as these wimpy kids these days do."

Upon further review of the bus accident, police discovered evidence of tampering around the brake lines. This has launched a full-fledged investigation into the most recent bus-related accident, in addition to heightening further suspicions around the half-dozen that have hit the country in the past few weeks. 

Back to you, David.