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| Is it wrong to kiss your cousin? | Started by: Dorothy on Mar 07, '20 02:38 |
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Dorothy skips down the streets towards a small stage just outside the offices of The Fat People News Chronicle. She looks up at the sign and thinks how lucky we are to live in a world where even overweight people can start their own successful newspaper. She approaches the lectern on the stage and lights a cigaret before addressing the small crowd standing in the street. Is it wrong to kiss your cousin? The age old question that have been asked time and time again. The topic was most recently brought to the streets by my good friend Nectar. Scholars have spent ages debating the topic, well educated listeners may remember the philosopher Bearderus who spent most of his life dedicated to the topic. His conclusion where sadly lost long ago, ohh how I would have loved to be able to be illuminated by his ancient texts. But alas, time have moved on and we are forced to consider this question ourself. Now many people instinctively scoff at the idea but I ask you to take a step back and think about it before you make up your mind. She takes a deep breath and looks out of the now quite large crowd that is starting to gather around the stage, this is clearly a topic people care about. We all know that cousin love can end in something less than ideal, like Charles II of Spain or Grin-06, but it can also end in something beautiful, like true love. Something the few remaining texts of Bearedus tells us about. What do you think? Is it always wrong to kiss your cousin? Is there certain situations where it might be ok? I implore you to share your thought with the rest of us, the lectern in available to everyone who wants to chime in. Thank you for your time friends. |
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Dr Shadows appears through the crowd pushing a whiteboard on wheels, making his way to the front he turns to face the crowd and clears his throat. "Lady's and gentlemen, through the medium of science I shall attempt to reasonably deduce whether it is acceptable to kiss one's cousin!" Dr shadow turns to his whiteboard and pulls a black marker pen from his white lab coat pocket, removing the lid he brings the tip of the pen under his nose and takes a good long hard sniff, sighing with relief and with a slight smile he begins to wright on the board as he talks. "Now then, if we turn this into a mathematical equation I am sure we can find the solution! Let's start with cousin A and cousin B represented by X and Z, if we add X to Z and then multiply by 3 we have I. . Now consider that I is the first letter of the word incest, we carry the 2, devide by Q, take into account the average lifespan of a North American salt water alligator and decide the life span by the number of holes I missed while lacing up my right shoe we are left with 26, which will be represented by P." Dr shadow pauses for a moment as he once again sniffs the tip of his marker pen. Turning to the crowd he steps away from his white board. " Now that we have established that X and Z are the equivalent to P we can really begin to break this question down to its core, is it acceptable for X and Z to formulate into P?" Dr shadow turns back to his whiteboard and begins to weight once again "now if we take p and add the binary number for X and Z we will be left with the answer P00, now this is still not a complete sum, so we must devide P00 by 4, add 16 and assume that if a midget in columbia has only three toes on his left foot then that would mean his name is Paul. Now Paul begins with a P which will close our sum and complete it. Leaving us with the final answer of P00P. So to summarise, is it OK to kiss your cousin!? The answer clearly is P00P. " Dr shadow takes another sniff of his marker pen and smiles with a dizzy expression, wiping his white board clean he turns and begins to sluggishly push it away from the crowd. Muttering " I think I need to lay down for a while" |
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| Reply by: Dr_Shadow at Mar 07, '20 10:34 | |
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