The Wise Guy Guild is a sacred and noble place. This was not a place for gangsters, or goombas, or earners. It was certainly not a place for made men, capos, bosses, consiglieres, or even dons, let alone godfathers. It was a place for the most prized of mafia men and women; the wise guys. As one walks into the guild HQ, portraits of famous peers lines the walls, culminating in the largest and most flamboyant painting of all, of famous Wise Guy Grin-06, too good to be an earner, too proud to be a made man. He was a wise guy through and through, steadfast ins his rank until the day he died. Some said he was born to be a wise guy. Al_Capone, oldest and therefore wisest of the guys, made the sign the cross and said a prayer for his old friend as he passed the magnificent, toothy rendering. 

There was a strange buzz in the Wiseatorium today, their great discussion hall, as his robed wise fellows discussed with great vigour the merits of one of the members of the guild. Brother iocaste was at risk of a life sentence in wise guy jail, which of course consisted of being promoted to made man, the most severe and terrible of punishments one could levy upon a proud wise guy. Just the thought of a life outside of the guild was unspeakably depressing to Al. Who would want that? Not his old friend Grin-06, certainly. 

As Al pondered the case, of which he would be presiding as judge, he considered the famous wise guy mantra, 'what would Grin-06 do?'

As the platonic wise guy, Grin-06 was looked up to by all of his fellow guild members, much like his father Grin-05, another vaunted wise guy. He was a man who earned, but not too much. A man who spoke, at times, too much. A man who was liked by some but not others. He was a man who was valued just the right amount; just the wise guy amount. It was said that the Grin family had not broken the sacred oath and become made men since before Grin-01 himself.

Did iocaste follow the example of the respected wise guys before him? Was he true to the spirit of the rank? Al wondered, did iocaste really belong in this virtuous brotherhood? He did not know. He wished Grin-07, son of Grin-06, could be called upon for advice at this time. But how wise was he? He could not have been more than a gangster, maybe a goomba by now, very lowly people, barely more trustworthy than those wretched made men, traitors of the wise guy pact. 

He sent a summons letter to iocaste to make his way to wise guy court, where Al would hear his defense. 

Having heard about Al_Capone's decision to set forth a trial against him, iocaste decided to go back to the Wiseatorium. He had been a lively member of the Wise Guy Guild for a couple of days in the past, a week at most. And yet, he certainly did forget about this place. A place of balance to an extent, a place of traditions where new ideas blossomed everyday and perhaps more importantly, a place of very strict, yet lenient rules.

The wise guy jail was no joke though. Forcing a member of the Wise Guy Guild to enter the-place-were-none-shall-return (exceptions may apply) against his will is an extreme decision. iocaste was determined to make them hear his case and to convince them that he was a righteous member once again. And to achieve that, he had devised a plan.

First of all, he had a very strong witness : Hulk_Smash himself. He was the person responsible for judging if the lion's work was worthy of the Wise Guy Guild or not, even though they would hate to admit it. There is no doubt that the Wise Guy Ethics Committee will question his morality. They will also obviously question his wisdom itself. But as a former member, they cannot forbid him to state his opinion.

If it did not suffice, iocaste also had a trump card. He hoped he would not come to this, but were Hulk's testimony not enough, he could play it dirty. As in, more than Wise Guy's dirty. As in, definitely Made and above dirty. He shivered at the idea. 

Waiting for the trial to begin, he took a good look at Al_Capone, trying to figure out what his enemy's strategy could be.

As Hulk was stomping around his HQ, drinking some whiskey from the bottle as he mutter to himself about toothache and sleep deprivation he came across the room allocated to Al_Capone. He saw him sitting there with a stupid grin on his face, waving his arms mumbling intelligible stuff as usual. The poor man really had Napoleonic features but Hulk loved him the same. Yet as he was about to pass the room he also caught sight of iocaste sitting there with the same stupid grin on his face. Hulk knew this could only be for 1 reason, and he frowned and sighed like any good leader would do when his associates were up to their stupid tricks again. He walked into the room and grabbed both associates by the ear and while shaking them he roared at them.

How many times do i have to tell you guys, STOP SNIFFING THAT GLUE!!! You're supposed to sell it to those dumbass gangster on the street corners not 'sample it' yourself all day in the HQ. Now get your act together and go make me some god damn money!!

As he dropped them both with a big thump on the ground and kicked their asses into gear he grunted his displeasure

The guild, a place of philosophy and learning, was audibly shocked by the outburst from Don Hulk_Smash, who had been given special dispensation to set foot in the Wiseatorium as a character witness of brother iocaste. 'These post-WG's', Al thought to himself, 'so uncivilized'. The incredulous looks on the faces of his brethren indicated they were thinking the same. They say that once a man passed into that diabolical realm - the 'books' - the mind warps itself into a dastardly shape, it becomes an unscrupulous machine engineered for trickery and wickedness. But a wise guy is pure and scholarly; he is a man who betters himself, but stops at a certain point, because that's quite enough. 

"Brother iocaste, please call your second witness. And Grin-06 help you if he isn't a wise guy. Only the most bona fide of men and women, our wise brothers and sisters, can truly save you."

Hulk could have been a decisive witness, the cornerstone of the theory that iocaste is indeed worthy of being a Wise Guy Guild member. Instead, his testimony turned into a circus, an outburst of rage directed toward its judge Al_Capone, the jury composed of honored wise guys and the Wise Guy Guild institution in itself. It was a complete disaster for the defendant...

Nonetheless, all was not lost. It was now time for other witnesses to show up. There was no one else on iocaste's list, apart from himself. But he would be the last person to testify. No, instead, since the wise guy trial format allowed pretty much anyone to come and express their opinion, whatever their ranks and affiliations, iocaste played a dirty trick.

He left ads in town asking for anyone to come and express their opinion at the trial today. More than that, he offered a 50000$ tip reward for the first 20 people showing up and stating their point of the view about the matter at hand, the defendant and/or the judge. He was hoping at least some people would come, for the pandemonium it would create would only make his next move more dramatic.

As Hulk looked at the 2 smartasses think they are kings in their own room, he sighes. He'll need to wait for these knuckleheads to get out from their trip. As he listens to their weird conversations about Wise guy juries and all that. He looks around but sees nothing but two drooling baboons and he decides to leave.

He'll come back to pick them up to be put back to work when they are more able to.

Before leaving he checks the room for any weapons, guns or sharp objects and with the glue in one of his massive fists he leaves the room shaking his head

Zoro was visiting Evil Inc's HQ for a small delivery. He was waiting in the lounge when he saw Don Hulk stomping out of a certain room, muttering something about 'being high' and 'smartasses' whilst carrying out several assortment of knives and guns. Holding on to the package that was meant for the Don, Zoro decided to take a small peek into the room out of curiosity. 

He recognized iocaste from past conversations, and a guy who looked like Al_Capone - the less popular editor duo of the newspaper. They looked high and jumped at the sight of Zoro. Al_Capone, at the top of his voice, screamed at the top of his voice,"Here comes the second witness! Now tell us, how do present your defense for Iocaste, who has violated the high order of the Wise Guy in this Wiseatorium? Why should he stay in the Wise Guy Guild?"

Zoro scratched his moss-green head in confusion. Not wanting to cause any trouble, he blurted out what ever that came to his mind. 

"Iocaste has a wheelbarrow, and everyone knows that the wisest of wise guys avoids any form of transportation except for the famed wheelbarrow. He deserves to stay."

Upon finishing his sentence, Zoro took a few steps back and quickly slammed the doors shut. He had no idea what had just happened, nor where he found the words to come up with those sorry sentences. All he knew was the he needed to get out of there. Clutching even more tightly to the small package, he quickly marched to the Don's office to complete the task at hand and hastily left Evil Inc's HQ. 

iocaste grinned after hearing the last witness statement. Speaking about the wheelbarrow was a nice touch, he definitely liked that. And the "the less popular editor duo of the newspaper" part was pretty savage. It was absolutely perfect. He nodded at Zoro once he finished talking.

Right before he left the court room, a man in a suit discretely slipped a fat enveloppe to him. 50 grands well earned. Wishing to get as many people as possible to testify, he made a hand gesture to his accomplice to start the next phase of his evil plan. A few minutes later, several urchins were running in the streets, giving leaflets to mafioso passers-by.

FREE 50000$ !*

*in exchange for a mere testimony at the Wiseatorium !

Feel free to laud or trash iocaste the lion publicly ! 

Once in a lifetime opportunity !

 Let the show begin.

Ah, The Wise Guy Guild; the inner sanctum of everything Wise Guy. I grew up on stories of this place, sitting at the feet of my father Grin-06, paragon of Wise Guys everywhere; never destined for a higher calling always trusted just the right amount, but also not quite enough. A goal to strive for, certainly, and it is my intention to be a third generation Wise Guy, following in the pioneering footsteps of Grin-05, refined by the well-worn wise loafers of Grin-06. 

I feel that pedigree qualifies me to speak here, in this hallowed chamber, among other associate royalty, on behalf of iocaste. Before I do that though, allow me to offer my congratulations to Al_Capone, a one-time Wise Guy is something to be admired, however it takes real dedication to be a two-time Wise Guy. Having tasted the waters of full family status, Al_Capone realised the taste was bitter and swam his way back down. A commendable achievement, admired by Wise Guys across the country and recognised most highly here; the Wiseatorium.

Now, as to iocaste, I've never met him. 

"Thank you Grin-07, of the Goomba Gaggle, for that good but not great testimony. You will make a fine Wise Guy one day. Please pass on our respects to your current union, wherever the moulding treehouse they base their operations out of now happens to be. Halls such as these must be very impressive to someone whose idea of luxury is a pitted olive, and I look forward to the day when I can welcome you through these ancient doors as a fully-inducted brother of the guild, like your father and his father before him.

As for brother iocaste, questions remain. A motion to strike Zoro's testimony from the record has been granted, as the Wise Guy Guild does not take kindly to the tone of his remarks, noting in particular the manner at which he glowered at yours truly, the Wisest Guy. I cannot risk my reputation being besmirched within the righteous walls of this Wiseatorium. We are a proud and honest rank of people, and to allow any post-WG to speak in any manner borderlining impudence is unbecoming of this blessed place. 

Made Men, such a boorish breed, don't you think, brothers?

We'll see what other types of strange and bumptious non-WG's brother iocaste has rustled up in his defense."

A group of Wise Guys murmured hushed tones of agreement, yes, yes, mmm, the hoods of their robes subtly quivering at their strenuous nodding, before returning to studying the hallowed protocols of doing slightly less than is good enough but vaguely more than too little. 

Seeing as no one else was showing up, iocaste decided to get his testimony forward. All his previous witnesses were either a failure of epic (green) proportions or simply taken off the records by Al_Capone. He was feeling like the judge was not entirely impartial. Actually, he was feeling like the judge was completely against him, which was clearly not following the Wise Guy Guild principle of "just enough, but not too much". He decided to voice his grievances.

Dear wise men and women, I am here to express my deepest concern : as Grin-07 has voiced in very fine words considering his unfortunate nature of being a goomba, Al_Capone, the judge in this matter of ours, has broken from our ranks the same way I did. He got past the best rank of all, past the parsimony that represents this fine institution, way too high compared to the only respectful rank there is. He got...

He stopped for a moment, looking at the crowd before him.

...to the made man rank and above ! And where Grin-07 sees a real dedication in being a two-times wise guy, which is understandable for a man as young and ignorant as he is for now, I am afraid this frivolity is only the sign that al_Capone has long lost the wisdom that characterizes this crowd right in front of me. How can you be so sure that he represents you appropriately ? How can you trust a man who reached not only the made man rank, not only the capo rank, but a rank I myself have never reached... The obscure and atrocious rank... The one and only... He was a BOSS ! 

Stopping again for a minute, he watched the crowd whispering, reaching an obvious state of unease and wondering what was coming next. It was clearly not appropriate to state an opinion in such a way, without showing an ounce of restraint. And yet, they were forced to listen. Such were the rules of the Wise Guy tribunal.

I can assure you, for being judged today precisely for this reason, that leaving the Wiseatorium is a no return journey. You lose that perfect balance that was once yours. You can only strive to reach that state of equilibrium that was the center piece of your daily life and thought process. Going right where you need to go, but not further. Doing just enough work, but not more. A state of absolute grace and daily jubilation that unfortunately, is all gone once your leave these sacred walls. Yes, I admit it. I am guilty. GUILTY. Guilty of not being the perfect incarnation of the Wise Guy standards anymore !

The crowd exploded, but only moderately and just long enough, at these words. How could someone who pretended to be a Wise Guy 5 minutes earlier, dared to show such lack of composure. It was clearly against the rules, the spirit, the principles. iocaste's fate was sealed at that point. And yet, he continued.

I am here today to be once again thrown into the wise guy jail. To be expelled from this fine establishment. And yet, I am also here today to convey a message to you. A warning. A terrible omen. For, if I am to be judged guilty today, and I surely will, I shall not be the only one. Al_Capone ! I hereby declare you more wild than I am ! More extreme than any wise guy should be ! More vibrant and passionate than the capo I was, and any other capo, shall ever be ! I shall be thrown into dominion today. But you will follow soon ! Your crimes shan't remained unpunished ! I know the truth ! 

At that point, wise guys started to slowly yet surely take control of iocaste. They were forcing him of the tribunal. Forcing him out of the Wiseatorium. Forcing him out of the wise guy rank, but at a moderate pace and with balanced determination. It allowed for a few additional words to be said.

I know everything about the travesty you are, Al_Capone ! You will be exposed soon enough ! And the worst is, when that happens, Grin-07 will be there to watch you get thrown out of these walls the same way I am today ! He will be in charged once again ! He's the true prophet of the Wise Guys ! YOU WILL BE FORGOTTEN BEFORE YOU KNOW IT ! 

And following these last words, it was all over for iocaste.

Hulk was finally having a quiet moment after all the busy planning he had done for the futures of both NYC and LV and as he sat down with a sigh his rest was hampered but some idiot yelling in the lower quarters of his hq.

Hulk grunted with displeasure and stomped down to look at what this glue sniffers were still up to. As he came in seeing iocaste still 'pleading his case' to some invisible people and al_capone still staring like he saw something of divine origin he lost his patience.

He pushed the door open wide, grabbed the lion's tail and just dragged him out, shook him with his big fists and told him the fun was over, time to get back to their rules and responsibilities the lion had agreed to earlier

The brothers of the guild were taken aback by brother iocaste's testimony. How dare a fellow guildmember attack the integrity of Al, the Wisest Guy, in so accusatory of a fashion? Al was a lifer; a Wise Guy until the end of days. Everybody knew that. Any evidence to the contrary had been carefully stricken from Wiseatorium records, all notions of his post-WG life scrubbed from existence outside of the memories of those like iocaste. And so Al knew he had to remove him from their proud guild. His position as the Wisest Guy was growing tenuous.

He had already lost his #1 VIP ranking this same morning, to a goomba no less, and life as a #2 was proving difficult to digest. They had wasted no time removing him of his credentials as the Sheriff of Creditham and already his daily credit parcels grew lighter. He knew the revised economic forecast likely meant he would be forced to scale back construction at Chateau Capone. If he fell to #3, he would have to abandon building of the guest mansion altogether. Is this how 'the poors' felt? He swayed uneasily in his cordovan leather shoes. 

"Brothers, such an outburst as we have witnessed from our former brother iocaste is unacceptable to the Way of the Wise Guy. He will be punished with immediate effect by being forced to take the rank of not just Made Man - a haughty and lecherous caste - but Capo as well."

The chamber gasped. 

"No longer will he be allowed to represent our proud people. It has become clear to us our former brother reaches for a level of effort and ambition that is simply beyond the pale for this greatly respected guild, for whom ambition and accomplishment are a Slenderman in the forest of effort, a creepy ghoulie lingering in the distance, to be avoided at all costs.

We will not be lured into trying harder than we have to, nor less than is acceptable. We try as hard as it takes to survive. That is our creed. Join me in prayer for our former brother, Wise Guys.

Our Grin-06, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy Grin-numbered Name, 
thy promotion come, 
thy will be done, 
but let it stop before we are Made."

He bowed his head in reverence to the gathered guildmembers.

Looking through the windows of the Wiseatorium, iocaste noticed that something had changed. The wise guys were buzzing around in an apparent chaotic movement. They seemed hesitant as to what to do, how to do it and if it was even moderately sufficient or necessary. Something was missing though, something which made them so disorganized. Something unexpected.

Al_Capone was nowhere to be seen ! 

Exactly as he prophetized during his trial only a few days, the judge and head wise guy was wise no more. Ah, the irony... Something bothered him though : it happened too soon. Grin-07 is currently not even a wise guy yet, and he wouldn't be for a few days. Perhaps...

Yes, that's only logical explanation : Al_Capone was afraid ! Afraid to meat the son of the most regarded Wise guy of all time ! Afraid to be compared to him ! Afraid to have to compete for the wisest of the wise guys ! He could not handle the possibility of being number 2 once again...

He shall be remembered in the Wiseatorium as a the second best wise guy who was no more, but wait, here he's back and oops he's gone again.

iocaste's trudging footsteps had slowed just a little, but not fast enough to hear what had happened moments before through the thick walls of the Wiseatorium.

One minute Al_Capone was presiding over the disgrace of iocaste and the next...

"Stop these proceedings!" Grin-07 thundered, brining the gathering to an abrupt halt. "It has come to my attention that Al_Capone, self-proclaimed Wisest of Guys, is in fact an imposter!"

There was a murmuring around the gathering at these words. It was highly irregular that Grin-07, a little Gary Goomba, should have the audacity to burst into the Wiseatorium, prodigy or not, and even more surprising that his scruffy little finger should be pointed at the head of the chamber. 

"Do you have any proof to support your claims? You are just a Goomba after all," sneered AMildPokemon, notorious enforcer of The Wise Guy Guild, rumoured to have amassed over 50 rogue and roguette notches on his belt since turning to a life of crime.

"Remove his robe and you'll see for yourself!" Grin-07 shouted, jabbing a grubby finger in the direction of a bulge in Capone's robes near his chest. "He's got his button!"

"You can't be fucking serious!" Al yelled. "Scram you little punk!" He added to a chorus of agreement from his hooded brethren. An impudent little upstart was not welcome in the hallowed halls, even less than sycophantic family members. However among the jeering, some were beginning to scrutinise him more closely.

"I say, if you have nothing to hide, young man...disrobe and show us," doddered Steam, the oldest of Wise Guys and much respected within the chamber. The jeers fell flat.

"What? You're listening to the words of this...this…20 united cum-stain? Outrageous. I was a Wise Guy when he was just a Wise twinkle in his father's eye!" Blustered Al.

A chant began to swell within the Wiseatorium ….'disrobe' ... 'disrobe'....'disrobe'... Capone's eyes went wide as AMildPokemon approached him. He quickly pulled his robe over his head and threw it into the rogue slayers face. The light glinted off his shiny Made Man button. There was a gasp of shock within the gathering and Al made a break for it, barging old Steam over and potential killing him.

Grin-07 watched on in horror shaking his head. All the work his father had built in ruins. Could it be saved?

It was all spiralling for Al_Capone. First he had lost his strangehold of the #1 VIP spot to an overzealous young upstart, and with it his title as Sheriff of Creditham, and now he had been exiled, disgraced, and shamed out of the most prestigious guild in the entire mafia. One day he was the Wisest Guy, grand master of the Wise Guy Guild, and the next he was just another pointless, drifting Made Man. He was in a free fall. At this rate he would be chewing orange peels and drinking malort under a bridge by the end of the week. It would probably get him promoted to Capo. It was too terrible to think about, to be in league with a degenerate like iocaste. 

'Until we meet again, old friend', Al whispered, as he ran his hands across the large stone gargoyle of Grin-05 one last time.