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| UKIP | Started by: Farage on Mar 17, '20 15:10 |
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Good day to you my fair mobsters. I am not a frequent visitor to these streets but that will have to change as you will all obviously want my opinion on matters of a political nature. It will also have to change as I am happy to announce that my party leader has found it time for me to branch out and go it alone. I feel it important that leaders have their say so people can form judgement on their level of incompetence. My own level is far FAR beyond anyone else's.. Anyway my political prowess has obviously caught his eye and he knows that placing this man in a position to have voice always ends well for any forward thinking Country. For starters the day always ends with a pint of mildy flat warm ale and rendition of God Save The King. This is not up for debate unlike anything else that I usually discuss. I thrive on debates but care very little for the facts. Huzzah! I am pleased to introduce you to my party. They shall fly under the banner of UKIP. United Kingdom of International Politicians. We will eventually buy an island that we can run independently but currently our kingdom is a shabby office behind a 7-11. It's not much but it's far better than Germany. We also dont plan on starting any wars. We aim to profit from them without the actual dying or losing bit mind. The aim of this party will be to prove that words can be twisted to suit our own, poor, agenda. That you can get somewhere in this world living off the masses and putting in effort only with the upper 2%. Oh. Shit. I mean we are all about the plucky little guy. We will take you in and nuture you into a political mastermind that will be respected by the rich for how hard you worked to be able to eat with your hands at our table. I think I covered that up well with aggressive hand movements, aye? FAKE NEWS! There. Better. I will be carefully vetting applicants to join my kingdom. They must complete a few tasks before you will be considered a citizen of the kingdom. I will not contact you until you have done so. Canvassing is for the low life Tories. Upon completion of these tasks I will award a new citizen their new passport, $100,000 and a place on my island (office). Snazzy eh? roll up roll up. I know what you are all thinking. Nice guy giving out money. I am going working for him. His looks and charisma are just a side benefit. All these things are correct but unfortunately I haven't given you anything. As any good crooked politician will tell you. Give to the poor only when you can get it all back. What you do with that money is entirely up to you but by accepting it from me you accept that you owe me. I expect paying back should you ever put yourself in a position that requires a little more trust. A position that will see you gain a little more respect. I expect it to be good, original and most importantly utterly devious. I feel it is important I put this out here. I wanted to make sure we all started on the same page after all. I am also ninety nine percent sure hardly anyone will read it and so not do anything. This would be sad face. For them. The rest of my time shall be spent fighting the good fight. I am hopeful, with the council in place as it is, I can attend a few jolly boys outing and do a bit of debating. Nothing like showing the masses you care about lining your own pockets! I am very hopeful we can return this place back to it's proper glory and I will do all I can too assist those more powerful than me. Tip: This is how you gain favour and possibly stay alive. Tip Two: There is a man down the road doing a definitive guide on how to be a mobster. Miles better than either of these tips. Check it out. I will also be ensuring the God damn Europeans stay off my island. Out means Out you fucking vermin. |
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Congratz ;) |
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| Reply by: StreetFame- at Mar 17, '20 15:44 | |
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Sounds really great this, keep it up Farage, its good and always funny to see good things that people writes things that is in great thing so we have something good to not have our brain just keep on thinking of this damn Corona. |
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| Reply by: TotallyLost at Mar 24, '20 00:32 | |
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Congratulations to you, Farage. If you could buy another island that Bacon Island, I would be grateful though. I have had my eyes on this beauty for a while, and I wish to acquire it asap. |
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| Reply by: iocaste at Mar 24, '20 11:48 | |
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TotallyLost laughs when he walks to next appointment further in the city, he hope all around him having it as the best,. not many out this time of day and when this damn virus is out and killing so many in the streets. |
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| Reply by: TotallyLost at Mar 24, '20 12:43 | |
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TotallyLost it seems you wont have to do any sharing at all with the passing of the all loved lion io (GRHS). More bacon for you I guess.
Farage, i dont know your bloodline and you dont know mine but non the less I want to congratulate you on the shinny new HQ. Im surprised you dont frequent the streets more often. You are very well spoken and this simple HQ announcement you gave had me listening to your every word. Anyways I digress, Congrats on this achievement and good luck with all your goals in the future!
Wilhelm raises his glass of whisky to salute Farage and returns to stealing purses from the old ladies in the crowd |
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| Reply by: Wilhelm at Mar 25, '20 06:59 | |
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