Ever since it was shoehorned into our criminal network without the need for any sister city, Seattle has become a hotbed of mob activity. Our business district is bouncing from Pioneer Coffee to The Coffee Cafe, our parks are some of the best in the country with A Park Bench, East Side Park and Tranquility Park becoming regular tourist attractions and our leaders, why they are some of the best around.

I mean, just this morning I was contacted by EvilClown, chief midget of the Waterfront Circus looking for my help with a crime he was organising. He had it in his head that he was going to rob an art gallery and he knew that a talented Earner and future Wise Guy staple like me, would be the perfect lookout for this type of work. Naturally I accepted as this was very much in my wheelhouse and I knew EvilClown could probably get 10-15 of his guys in his car without too much bother. 

Unfortunately, things didn't go entirely to plan and after three of his lackeys decided now would be a good time to practice their human pyramid, the heist all came crumbling down. The mission was a failure and we had to haul ass to get out of there; a ringing endorsement for the prowess of his operation.

And he isn't the only superstar calling the shots on the Streets of Seattle. My own Boss, Cogburn, has been demonstrating her leadership qualities to full effect, employing the most stringent recruitment approaches you can imagine. So stringent in fact, one guy, having completed jobs for The Cogburn Crew of Two +2 (TCCoT), actually had no idea what he was being asked:

From: Cogburn
Sent: Mar 17, '20 21:07
Subject:

heya, how does?

To: Cogburn
Sent: Mar 18, '20 21:51
Subject:

How does what? 

Needless to say, the man did not take Cogburn up on this transparent offer of employment, choosing instead to kill himself rather than be subject to such buffoonery ever again; a tough but probably justified decision. 

For the rest of us though, with these two stalwarts at the head of things in the Emerald City (is that our nickname?), we Seattleites (is that what we call ourselves?) have been truly blessed by the coming of West. I feel mean that you can't enjoy the delights of this excellent enterprise for yourselves. However, to all the young civilians out there considering a life of crime who would like to fail organised crimes or be chatted up about joining us in really confusing ways, either of these champions will be happy to an extend an invitation to you too.

As Grin-07 mentioned the parks that were brought to attention by the best aviator that was working from his own home, Trent_Flyman, East smiled. Especially when the East park was mentioned. But soon after, East shook his head, when Grin-07 spoke of Seattleites having been truly blessed by the coming of West.

Keep the North up, Grin-07. East paused as he wondered how puzzled Grin-07 would look now.
Then East is right. Furthermore, the correct word is Satellites. Find yourself a bloody dictionary!

Stopping the shaking of his head, East continued.
Another point I would like to address is the fact that you are throwing Cogburn's highly regarded theories on recruiting out open on the Streets. What's the next step? Publication of love letters she receives?

As he asked Grin-07 about that, he realized it may have been a bad choice of words..

I can assure you, East, that I've only potentially foiled a tactic with a 0% success rate. No harm done whatsoever.  And, as for love letters there have been none whatsoever, unless you count the people saying "I thought your name was Cockburn" as a come-on. If so, then there have been lots.  Those she uses as bread for her sandwiches. 

Well, are you sure you get the techniques, Grin-07? Maybe there is a psychology behind the recruitment process that you haven't found out yet. Maybe only the the most intelligent work out the code language Cogburn uses and maybe the success rate therefore is 100%. Maybe she..

East paused and mumbled

apparently it's a she.. Which makes me confused about her choosing a male STD for a name..

Changing back to loud voice, East spoke

Where was I..? Ah yes. Maybe she only wants to have the most intelligent recruits that are around in this country. The ones that actually see through the code that is hidden in her cryptic messages..

East paused, frowning

On the other hand, she's got you..

The buzz of propeller blades was bringing on the tinnitus again, his friends called it Trentitus when he used it as an excuse to ignore what was being said…normally when he was being asked to dip into his pockets for a round at the bar, or to pay off the temporary-lovelies he had hooked up with to hang with his fly-guy buddies.  Trent had flown from home to Philly and then on to Detroit as part of his fact finding mission and he was getting itchy feet again.

He pulled out his notebook and flicked through; coffee shop thoughts were littered across the first few pages and then he got to his Lovely List.  This was where he could recommend friends for his buddies to meet in other cities.

Philly – tough, ball-busting lovelies
Olive
Brenda
Lulu

Detroit – lovelies love to talk dirty
Felicity
Lauren
Astrid

After he had landed in Detroit again, he was grabbed by his good friend East bringing something from TCCoT’s Grin-07 to his attention.

You know what Grin my good man, I have spent time in other cities recently and do you know they are just rude here.  I have had by butt felt twice and the perpetrators haven’t had the graciousness to let me know.  At least Seattleites make their presence aware usually.  Some do tend to clump along like East so you know he’s coming. 

Trent unfurled a banner to attach to the back of his plane that he felt said it best.

West is Best

Cogburn had been relaxing on a park bench reading the latest murder mystery by Agatha Christie, when Grin-07 started speaking of the glories of Seattle.  Finding the speech much less interesting than her reading, she attempted to continue but was again distracted as East started theorizing on her recruitment practices in an especially loud voice.  Setting the book aside, she stood with the intention of correcting East, when a plane  landed right in the middle of the open field.  Fully anticipating that the peace and quiet she had previously been enjoying was now irrevocably destroyed, she began packing up her things.  She approached East while Trent_Flyman was attaching a banner to the back of his plane.

"My recruitment strategy isn't really code for anything unfortunately.  It is meant to pretect Grin-07.  I'm trying to keep things small here as I have a fairly serious concern regarding whether or not he can count past two." She said to East on her way past.