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| The Mafia Tribune - Feb. 24 | Started by: Mary_Livermore on Feb 24, '08 20:22 |
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Note from the Editor: As you can see the Tribune has returned to the Streets where it belongs. In an effort to bring the paper to the community where it will be seen by more of the population we have closed down the exclusive shop where you bought previous editions and have returned to old fashioned paper boys! MOB BOSSES DIE IN NOT SO SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES: Word on the street is that Bruce Carrol and Spider Pig said and did the wrong things thus angering the reigning criminal body known as The CP. Their bodies were found strung up and riddled with bullet holes as if they were used for target practice. The bodies were found still wearing their pyjamas and pink bunny slippers. Normally the Streets would be a beehive of activity after such a murder but it has been treated as yet another day in paradise and the deaths are no surprise to anyone other than their respective families. Zephyr, right hand to Prince of Cheese, took the time to visit the Streets and had the following to say regarding the deaths: "1.Nobody can be surprised that Bruce and SpiderPig have been removed. 2.As a leader, Bruce did not meet the required standard, and was mute in the street. He did not contribute to the running of this world in a positive manner. 3.SpiderPig was an aggressive auth and Bruce was a known close ally of the recently deceased TheCaptain - it was only a matter of time before someone moved. 4.We moved first." MOB FM IS BACK ON THE AIR In case you didn't know the famed Mob FM is back on the air. Mr. 47 and his counterparts have brought that sweet loving sound back to the airwaves in yet another incarnation of their circus style act. One of the featured shows is The Real Deal with Bill McNeal. The station also takes requests. We look forward to seeing Mob FM take off as it has in the past. THE CAPTAIN'S SHIP HAS SUNK In other mob related deaths this week, The Captain and his cohort NWA_GANGSTA have run aground. The cocky young man that would speak of himself in the third person met his end after allowing NWA_GANGSTA to set up his own business in their fine city. Many said it was his first mistake, however, more said it was his last. No details are available to the press right now as the investigation is still under way. Reports say that again The CP is behind these deaths. The Captain's progeny th3capta1n shared his father's final words and has taken leave of our world. "If you're getting this message, that means The Captain's dead. He knows, it's terrible. But don't cry too much, he had his time in the spotlight. That time is over now, and its time for a future great to step up, and take his place in New Orleans. The Captain had a lot of plans for that city, he hopes it ends up in good hands. Anyway that's enough about the future. The Captain doesn't really care, as he obviously won't be a part of it." LIMONCELLO STEPS OUT FROM BEHIND THE BAR We have it on good word that Limoncello, well known for her tasty antics in the kitchen, has been given the nod to start her own "business". Using the cover of barmaid this young lady has a gift for dazzling those around her. Ms. Limoncello's ancestors have been know for their "rogue" activities but it seems this time the family line is getting a shot at a legitimate business! Will we be seeing more of the lovely lady in the Streets now that she has a new suit? Who knows, only time will tell. This young lady was welcome with open arms to many including The CP. THE FLOCKS ARE LEAVING? Over the past week there have been several deaths that some are calling a holocaust. The boats to Europe and beyond seem to be filling up with residents of our world that just can't hack it. There has been talk that it is The CP's fault, however many see it as a lack of testicular fortitude and the way these youngsters were brought up having everything handed to them on a silver platter. Is there a decrease in our population? Yes... Will it be the end of the world? No. Every city, state, and country undergoes population booms and decreases. This is yet another ripple in our existence and nothing to worry about. The Fisk Family is leaving this land yet again. This family line has repeatedly left our shores and returned. Will this be the last of him? We here at The Tribune highly doubt it. THREATS OF AN UNDERGROUND MOVEMENT That isn't overly underground. The ITMBAGHBIL revolution has begun. Led by Pietro Porkchop the group known as "I'm Taking My Ball And Going Home Because I Lost" are recruiting those that are sick and tired of having to work for what they want are taking over. The plots against those higher up in our society are growing in number.. And size. Just look at Pietro, he's got a whole lot to give. During a passionately delivered speech in the Streets Pietro said: "Our group will come together and bitch and bitch about things we refuse to get organized to change, instead we will complain to those that don't care in an effort to be annoying enough to have our children's, children get murdered. We will Cry We will Whine We will complain We will yell We will not makes sense then my friends WE WILL QUIT!" The outpouring has been dramatic. Behind closed doors Pietro has been seen eating twice as many ribs and three times as much mashed potatoes just to keep up with the demand for his fledgling group. CHICAGO EXPANDS Cab Tufting, head of Chicago, announced that he would be kicking Skepta out of his comfortable nest into the cold world of being a leader in the Windy City. In a brief statement following the appointment of Skepta as his underling Cab Tufting had this to say about Skepta, "This man has proved to me over and over that he is ready for this step and it pleasures me greatly to push him out of my HQ and let him set up his own operation. I very much hope that this will give him the opportunity to prove he is ready to make the step up to owning his own city in the future." THE UNPERSONS IN LAS VEGAS Announced today, Orwell will be leading the City of Sin into the future. A surprising turn has seen a "Non-CP" auth emerge from what some are calling a regime not unlike that of Hitler. In the coffee shops there was some debate as to his "CP-ness" or lack thereof but it appears that there are some smiles happening around our cities. Comments regarding the length of time this latest Non-CP auth will live are both boisterous and serious. Good luck Orwell! GANGLAND WARFARE By Rorschach Aristotle once said that 'we make war that we may live in peace', but as our Streets ran red with blood this past week, that statement could not be any further from the truth. Two prominent leaders in the Six Cities were gunned down in a slew of succinct murders that put the lives of many of our nation's criminals to rest, sparking an uproar from the grieving relatives. The chain of events that led to the ensuing blood bath started first with the Mob Boss of New Orleans, TheCaptain. Despite his underworld ties, this man was quite the media darling. Active in the Streets and with a view to seeing the business districts of the Big Easy improve and flourish, TheCaptain's time was strongly invested in improving his city. Implementing an scheme called the N.O.B.D. he started offering cash rewards to those who could bring wealth and tourism to The Big Easy. Well liked by those in his employ, the man who had been leader for almost a month before his death has enjoyed good fortune until the afternoon of February the 20th. The first signs of unrest began when TheCaptain announced he was to divide his empire with a close associate of his, NWA_GANGSTA. Although the majority of those there for TheCaptain's announcement seemed pleased with the move, a slow stir of malcontent manifested itself both in the Streets and behind closed doors. It seemed that not only were some of the other leaders unhappy with NWA_GANGSTA's rise to prominence, they also felt as though TheCaptain's reign in New Orleans had run it's course. There was talk of 'mistakes', 'inability to punish offenders' and regarding NWA_GANGSTA, previous offences that were overlooked in the Streets. Though there was no official statement made by the killers as to the reasons behind the events that were due to come. TheCaptain, whilst taking an afternoon off from his usual schedule was murdered within the New Blood Rising Compound around the time of 16:00 according to the New Orleans Police Department. Almost at the same time, NWA_GANGSTA was assassinated whilst out walking with minimal security. The perpetrators then began to take out other high ranked associates of the deceased with relative ease, as the newly homeless mobsters took to the Streets with anger, anguish and confusion. This reporter managed to overhear some sound bites of the tirade that was brought against the supposed killers of TheCaptain: Altitude and PrinceOfCheese, two mob bosses that operate from New York and Philadelphia respectively. Leaders that our community of mobsters are saying are in a group called CP - two initials that no one seems to know the meaning behind (though there have been many suggestions). "It was easy to see that CP wanted TheCaptain dead" said one angry man who died later in the day from the gun of an unknown assailant. " "TheCaptain is dead. You are all still [unprintable expletive]. CP still rules," was another addition to the arguments that seemed to go back and forth openly in the Streets. Meanwhile mourners flocked in their droves to the funeral of TheCaptain with many positive words to say about the deceased, further enforcing the image that TheCaptain was a well-liked and respected man in various circles. This reporter can say that though his time running New Orleans was a short one, TheCaptain's presence and enthusiasm for business will be missed in the community. As the shouts and cries of the many died down and the blood was washed away by the February rains that followed, it then came as a surprise to this reporter that we should see war again and so quickly. The next leader to fall was BruceCarrol who ran his organisation out of Las Vegas. Mr Carrol, had first started his Organisation in Las Vegas - again a little less than a month ago - both he and TheCaptain given their opportunity to Lead jointly in Sin City. Despite the flagrancy and reputation of the city he ran, Bruce Carrol was a quiet man, shying away from publicity instead choosing to spend his time working closely with those in his employ and strengthening his business empire. He was no stranger to war however, reportedly one of several Mafia syndicates involved in the take down of The State Street Mob and The Meggio Mob. It was perhaps his involvement in those situations that led the man to believe his relations with the other 'CP' leaders were strong enough to ensure his safety. No one can know exactly Bruce's thoughts on the matter, except for those close to him. This reporter can only hazard a guess that it was perhaps the man's benign nature or even fear that stopped Signore Carrol from acting on what the Streets were saying was an inevitability. Glaringly obvious to many, but perhaps not the speed with which it was executed, in the early hours of February 23rd, Bruce Carrol and his organisation, Le Persone Immortali were erased from our Six Cities. As though this reporter was suffering from a case of dvu, the events leading to the murders seemed to begin with the announcement that Bruce would be dividing his business and placing SpiderPig as his Captain. This announcement was made on the evening of the death of TheCaptain, perhaps an ill-fated omen as to what was about to happen. Around 5:00am EST Feb 23, Carrol and Tish, the Right-Hand of Le Persone Immortali business affairs, were gunned down whilst sleeping. The Leader in his home in Las Vegas, Tish outside of the city in a high profile hotel. SpiderPig was also murdered at almost the same time, the killers moving in force to wipe out any resistance to their attack. Though their guns were many, the perpetrators could not however silence the backlash of the sons and daughters of the murdered Mob Syndicate. A squall of the angry and bitter took to the Streets to voice their complaints, this time with more fervour and distemper than was seen in the wake of TheCaptain's death a few days previously. Amongst those who spoke out came a variety of reactions: men and women taking their bloodline from the Six Cities vowing never to return, others spitting bile about the injustice of what had happened: "Tell me why in these times any mobster should want to be around these parts. To work for so much and then loose it all," came the lament of one man. "...for weeks now our world has known that Witchyx, TheCaptain and Bruce would all be take downs. When Bruce was the last one standing out of the 3, we all knew it was a matter of time," came the words of a young woman. And the reasons for the murders? The perpetrators of the crimes? In an undisclosed location away from the prying ears of the authorities Zephyr, Right-Hand to the powerful Mob Family L'Esercito Del Formaggio, made an announcement. He claimed that the motives behind such an action were due to Bruce's silent nature, lack of leadership abilities, alliance with TheCaptain, as well as the aggressive move of making SpiderPig, a known enforcer for Le Persone Immortali, the leader of his Division. And it was for these reasons the 'CP' leaders Altitude and PrinceofCheese had moved against Las Vegas. Though there is evidence to the fact that this statement had some founding, many of the relatives of those who had been killed in the gangland slayings disagreed vociferously en masse. These comments were disputed by the employees of those families involved in the take down, neither side reaching a satisfied compromise. So what is now to become of our Cities after such violence? This reporter will not be not hedging any bets, but with the newly authed Orwell stepping into Sin City to start his own business and the promise of another leader to take over in New Orleans, all is not as bleak as many of our community seem to think. There is some concern however that the bloodshed has not ended yet. Rumours of resistance and an undercurrent of vendetta whisper from Street Corners and coffee shops. Regardless of what is due to come, the nation can be sure that The Mafia Tribune will be reporting on all of the events. WOULD YOU REALLY WANT TO DIE? By: Tamelo So, your family is at war. The streets are a dangerous place and you're scared of your own shadow. Your boss has asked you to eliminate one of your enemy's best hitters. You arrive at his house in the dead of night and approach the house slowly and in the shadows. Your plan is to sneak in and gun him down in his sleep. As you reach the back of the house you go to test the back door and find it open. All your senses scream that there is something wrong but the fear of failure drives you on. You push open the back door and enter the kitchen, you creep past the table and walk through into the living room where the stairs leading to the second floor are on your right hand side. You advance and set one foot upon the stair. This is the last thing you see as a 9mm piece of metal enters your forehead and ends your life. Why did this happen? Because your boss went to war the Honourable way. Your boss decided to tell the person they wanted to kill that they were going to be attacking them. Thus, every member of his or her family is put on alert and thus leads to your demise. Would you be happy? Those that have attacked the current leader for warring when their enemies are not here need to take a step back from their loyalties and look at it from a sensible perspective. You have your 50-man family. You have the 50-man family you want dead. You shoot all the 50 man families hitters and then the RH and leader. You lose none of your 50-man family and are stronger for it. How can you argue with that logic? How could you possibly say it is wrong to not put yourself and your family members in danger? A TWO-FACED SELF-PITY WORLD. By: Tamelo I have walked these streets for nearly 5 months now. I have seen leaders come and go. I have also seen the same thing over and over again. I have seen A shoot B, then seen B's father arrive in the street and bitch and moan about how he his father did not deserve to die and how he was a much better leader than those already in this world. SHUT THE FUCK UP. You died so deal with it. There was obviously a reason as to why people wanted your father dead. Whether it was because your father was a poor leader or because they wanted total power to themselves, it matters not. Nothing you can say now will change the fact your father is sleeping with the fishes. I then see these same people work their way back up the ranks and follow in their father's footsteps, get a crew of their own and kill someone who they saw as a threat. Apparently it is alright to do so now as you're on the winning side. Can you all not see you are as a bad as each other? It's a dog eat dog world and the biggest dog always eats the most. So, next time your family line dies could you please make sure you tell your son to keep his mouth shut and not to disgrace your family name. It's boring, repetitive and serves no purpose but to kill the streets. Instead, demands vengeance upon the time of your death and give them the tools to have a chance of avenging your death. ADVERTISEMENT Torres Business and Associates This is a group made for the business districts only. We are neither cult nor underground group built for world domination. We are however, a group to promote business and its overall well-being. The group was made from an old idea by a long dead leader named Mercedes. The idea was with me for generations and now I have decided to speak up due to the eroding buildings in many cities. When you join you are asked to post in other members' and non-members' bars. Also, you are encouraged to make a business in LA. We at the moment are slowly expanding and we need the help of every businessman or woman to help us out. Please, for the well being of the community please join the group to help the business of the mafia. Contact me for any questions. -Martin Torres RETIREMENT, THE EASY WAY OUT Many people have found a new way out. A way that doesn't require the presence of another person. You can go into a small room provided by the administrative team at City Hall and never come out. You just walk in, push a button, and poof, you are no more. Sure it says, "Retired" in the Obituaries but is it really a "Retirement"? Sources have said that they have seen the administrative team trucking bodies out of City Hall through the back doors in an alarming quantity. At first when they started providing their Kevorkian-like assistance it wasn't a large number. Now they are seen assisting the corpses into gas fuelled furnaces daily. Suicide has become the new thing, however, has anyone remember that it is also a cardinal sin to take your own life? Several opponents to the new "Retirement Home" have called for stricter requirements placed upon those who survive the suicidal exits of their family members. Concerned citizens have discussed having the number of family members allowed to return to our six cities limited on a per week basis. Most are asking why things can't be like they were before? Why have the "Gods" made things so easy? The easy way to answer this is to simply say, they got sick and tired of people constantly asking for their assistance in planning their own death and instead of standing strong and saying no they decided to make things easier than they should be by providing the "Retirement" option. Long gone are the days of having to put effort into your own death having to ask a friend or foe to end your life all you have to do now is visit the City Hall Retirement Home. AUNT MADGE'S BLEEDING HEART By: Aunt Madge Dear Aunt Madge, Over the past several years I have had to fight off bouts of depression. The urge to "retire" is running rampant in my veins as of late. I have just found out how easy the people down at City Hall have made it to retire. I can end my life with one simple pull of the trigger. How easy is that?! Instead of having to find someone to shoot me, thus giving them something to shoot at, I can just do it myself! I can end my life that easily. So should I? ~Sick of it All Dear Sick, Oh come dear, it can't be that bad? Look at all the things we have to live for... That granny down the Street who always has at least $100 on her at all times. That new bank that just opened up? Is it worth the shame that your family will feel when they see your name in the obituaries? What it boils down to is respect. Respect yourself. Respect your family. If after hours of thought you still want to kill yourself and rid the world of your inability to put some effort into life then get someone to shoot you. Retiring is for chickens and old people. With Love, Aunt Madge FROM THE TRIBUNE KITCHEN Chuck Roast the Family Will Kill For Ingredients 3 pounds chuck roast 2 1/2 cups red cooking wine Water to almost cover roast 6 medium onions, sliced 1-cup soy sauce 1 cup Worcestershire sauce 9 bay leaves 1 large bell pepper, chopped 1-teaspoon black pepper 1/2 teaspoon crushed basil leaves Instructions In a large glass bowl, marinate roast for 1 hour in 1-cup wine, turning once. Drain marinade, and place roast in a heavy, deep skillet, large enough for it to lay flat. Fill the skillet with enough water to almost cover meat. Add half the onions, 1 cup wine, 1/2 cup soy sauce, 1/2 cup Worcestershire sauce, 4 bay leaves, and 1/2 the bell pepper. Cook, covered, over medium heat 40 minutes. Turn meat, and cook an additional 20 minutes. When liquid gets low, add up to 2 cups of additional water. Add the remaining onions, bay leaves, wine, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, and bell pepper. Add black pepper and basil leaves. Cook about 1 hour and 30 minutes longer, until the meat is tender. Check to make sure the liquid is always several inches deep to ensure there is enough gravy for the meat and for a side dish of rice. A WORD FROM THE EDITOR Dear Mafiosos and Mafiosas, Before you slay the first edition of the NEW Mafia Tribune, without the help of the community The Tribune's future is dismal. It will fail unless we work together. This is a given, it's not a "what if". Without you, the residents of this world that we call home, The Tribune print shop is destined to be shut down for good. No matter how good or how bad the Editor is it is up to you, the people that enjoy your life here, to help out. Not just with stories, but financially as well. If you want the contests of the past, donate. If you want better stories that are only written by those who expect payment, donate. If you want to read stories that YOU want to read, help write them. It's not hard. An hour a week is all I ask. Please contact me if you are interested in writing on a permanent basis for your paper, The Tribune. We have a few people that are stepping up to the task and their efforts are appreciated. CURRENT TRIBUNE STAFF: Street Reports - open Headline News - open Interviews - open Sports - open Editorials - open Entertainment - open Family and Crew Relations - open Obituaries - open Advertising - open Family and Crew Representatives - open Editor - Mary Livermore Pretty damn dismal for a world that has so many up and coming writers.. So sad for a world that used to boast some of the best writers around. I look forward to your compliments, criticisms, and involvement. Remember... It's hard to put out a paper when you live in a world of lazy, apathetic people that don't even want to put the effort into making even the Tribune a better read. The Mafia Tribune is the COMMUNITY paper... To be written by you, the community. Last, but not least, I would like to thank those that did help out with this edition. Without you it would have been very non-existent. Mary |
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*puts his copy back down on his desk* Albeit a bit factually inaccurate in places, it was wholly a good read and it pleases me to see the Tribune up and running again. I hope to see it in full force again soon. *takes a sip of his coffee and returns to some paperwork |
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| Reply by: Altitude at Feb 24, '08 20:37 | |
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| Good job, Mary, and the others involved. Enjoyed the read. | |
| Reply by: Turk at Feb 25, '08 03:39 | |
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damn you paparazzi!My underground crew was supposed to be a secret!! :( I am ruined!! Other than that I thought it was a good read well done! |
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| Reply by: PietroPorkchop at Feb 25, '08 13:42 | |
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