It was a dark and stormy afternoon... well, no, not really. It was actually quite pleasant outside if you ignored the gnashing of teeth and wailing of the damned that were slowly making their way out of the cities and into the morgues. Yet with all of the negativity swirling around a few of the American cities there was something that still had not went away; the chirping of birds. Glorious tits, fanciful finches, precocious pigeons and if you were lucky enough even a smattering of hummingbirds sang their little buzzing tune.

"FUUUUCKKK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU"

Ah, the call of the Owl. It was truly a sound to behold. This too was not any Owl, but one with a cute little fedora adorned atop his head and a tiny machine gun crafted out of nothing but wood an ingenuity. You'd have never seen this type of bird before, but alas it was the greatest of them all and considered by most bird scholars and lawyers to be the most powerful of all the birds... and this one, well it had something important to say about the precarious climate of this thing of ours.

"I don't have anything to say."

What a little bitch.

Mr Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

Seductively unwrapping what looks to be some strange candy that he must have taken from his travels through time and space, MrOwl stares directly into LP-'s eyes as he shoves the stick into his mouth. The sound of his tongue swirling up against it and the saliva dripping down his chin  is all that can be seen or heard in the vicinity as everyone has stopped to watch the show.

"Thhone..."

Accidentally pushing it too far down his throat it becomes lodged and the poor bird begins gasping for breath. He's dying, his eyes are fading black and everything has gone so wrong in just a few short moments.

"Ack ack... tw...ckkkk."

Just then it completely disappears down his impressive throat, finally the Owl looks away from LP and wipes the remaining dribble off of his face while a large smile replaces what was just a few moments ago a complete look of panic and pure exasperation. There can only be one answer to this question he thinks to himself.

"Three."

The man chuckles and shakes his head at the Owl before taking a drag off his cigarette and exhaling..

"Thanks for answering my question though but I'm not sure I believe you..."

He pulls a single tootsie roll pop from his suit pocket and smirks as he dangles it out in front of the owl.

"What would you do for another one? I demand a recount I believe it takes fifty four licks... why fifty four you ask? I don't know just came up with the number. So.. what do you say? This is a very serious war matter..."

It was time for action.

"One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten... eleven... twelve... thirteen... fourteen... fifteen... sixteen... seventeen... eighteen... nineteen... twenty... twenty one... twenty two... twenty three... twenty four... twenty five... twenty six... twenty seven... twenty eight... twenty nine...."

Forgetting what came after twenty nine, MrOwl improvised and again quickly shoved the entire treat down his throat. Dislodging his jaw like some sort of snake to fit the entire thing down in one pristine gulp.

"There you have it. Twenty nine. Solved. Go away now."

The man watched the owl eat the lolipop again while ot was still pretty much completely intact, he shook his head and took a final drag off his cigarette and exhaled before stomping it into the ground and letting out a sigh.

"Fine, you inferior creature. Just remember.. owls are cowards... not the guy walking away from them."