My fellow criminals, we stand at the moral crossroads here today.  I for one am SICK and APPALLED that so many INNOCENT gangsters are being shot at this very moment.  The so called LEADERS of our world show DISGUSTING disregard to the malice murder of our youngest and brightest.  They deem the murder of INNOCENT gangsters necessary due to their SELFISH need to shed blood. At this point they don’t even CARE who’s blood they get to drink, as long as they get every last drop.  

Leaders on BOTH sides are gunning down harmless individuals for their own selfish gain.  They would rather watch a MILLION of our youngest bleed rather than come to a REASONABLE solution.  As a pillar and champion of this community this SICKENS me. As a leader is it your DUTY to protect those who don’t have the means to protect themselves.  It is UNBELIEVABLE that leaders would condone this kind of conduct on their watch.  

Today this practice ENDS!  STOP the malice murder of gangsters across the nation.  Let us be FREE of the worry of being murdered for absolutely no reason.  This practice must end right now. That is why I am forming a group the supervise and protect the gangsters of our nation since the LEADERS seem unable to.  Today I am announcing the formation of the Gangsters Of Oppressed Criminal Hereditary (GOOCH). We will MONITOR and ENFORCE the protection of our communities most fragile subjects.  

JOIN GOOCH TODAY!

Sorry, but I'm afraid I will have to remain in TWAT, a closely aligned but unaffiliated sister organization, Thugs against Wacking, Today! Perhaps it's down to the fact that I am not yet a gangster, but who knows in these uncertain times? One thing is certain though, I will certainly consider having a closer inspection of your GOOCH in a few hours. 

Unfortunately I cannot join GOOCH as I am a member of CUNT. That would be Crewleaders United in Neutralising Threat.

If I happen to have an accident (Good chance I would say) then the letter to my son will receive has both of your flyers and will, I imagine, fully support your cause. Farages love the drama. It is in the blood..

UKIP would like to congratulate you both though on having such fine unions and members to represent though. Remember. Labour are the baddies not ol' Nige

I was aware of CUNT but given that it has been sometime since my family was in a leadership contest like you Mr Farage, I have been unable to join, I have also heard rumours of a fledgling offshoot of the CUNT, CLIT, Crewleaders Lost in Turmoil, but have yet been unable to prove if the CUNT does in fact have a CLIT. Perhaps you would be in a position to confirm this?

There is currently no turmoil in this neck of the woods my good man.

However there may be a chance that Chicago may be providing the CLIT organisation. I cannot comment on their union set ups.

It would be better for all if CUNT and CLIT were reunited if that is the case but sadly, with the majority of men, we have lost the ability to do so despite the guidance of the ladies present.

Thank you kindly for your elucidation on this matter, perhaps in the not so distant future we shall be able to put a finger on the CLIT, confirming its existance once and for all.

BREAKING NEWS

I have just recieved information of members leaving GOOCH to form their own Ultra Right extremist group, SPHINCTER, Super Powerful Hitmen Involved in Neutralizing Crewleaders Totally Eliminating Rivals... they are everywhere, but thankfully can be easily identified by their Rusty Sherriff's badges.

We are now better able to understand the political landscape now during this time of war, with Cunt out front, possibly with CLIT and Twat, GOOCH filling the middle ground, with SPHINCTER to the rear... all we need do now is pray that PENIS (Politicians Engaged in Nearly Instantaneous Suicide) doesn't show up and fuck us all.