Meeting Minutes from The Grin Gang Daily Meeting, #12:

Zapata: Thank you for assembling, Grin Gang. Welcome to daily meeting #12. Some of the Grintern's have set up coffee and biscuits in the back. While I know the format of having daily, as opposed to weekly or monthly, meetings is already starting to seem like much, our dear leader has Grinsisted that we crack on with the routine. He believes that by continuing to put our heads together in these daily briefing and brain-storming sessions, we can foster the type of environment in which Grinnovation can flourish. In fact he believes, with a group of highly Grintellectual individuals such as ours, it is Grinevitable. 

I know that many of you are eager to talk about Elodin's embarrassing performance in our Grintramural football league last night, but there are many topics on the agenda and I must ask that all Grinterruptions be held until we reach the appropriate agenda topic; the first, of course, being the gang's general Grincome. 

I am sad to report that despite the best efforts of our Captains of Grindustry we are haemorrhaging money on the bleach, peroxide and paint required to continuously clean VoxNeruda's urine off the walls. The sheer smell of him, however, has at least been useful in our Grinterrogations with the indebted schmucks who owe us money all over the city. Meanwhile, Goldust's return to the crew has driven our grocery bill through the roof, as many of you are sure to have noticed his habit of falling down the stairs and spilling his dinner all over himself. We are not sure how it continues to happen, the man is absolutely Grincorrigible. 

Sorry, let me pause for a moment just to check; is anyone relaying this Grinformation to CommissarKuku? He's waiting outside. He couldn't fit all of his bodyguards Grinto the building and won't go anywhere without them, because everyone hates him and is trying to murder him. One of the Grinterns? Please and thank you. 

Where were we? Oh! Grincome & expenditures. Yes, in addition, we will be forced to sink further costs into yet another of a series of failed social-acclimatization programs for Nipper, as his cannonballing from the laundry dungeon to the bright lights may have overshot his still-growing Grinterpersonal skills. We would like to raise his communicative ability to a point where it is, at the very least, Grintelligible. I would ask our very own Captain Asshat, Hawk, to help out but he is a Made Man and busy with more important things, such as keeping track of the 505,000 dollars we have pickpocketed from Elodin together, as a family. 

Before we move on to agenda topic #2, does anyone have any comments or Grinterjections? 

VoxNeruda stands the back of the room by the coffee and biscuits.   He splashes the coffee under his arms, imagining he was bathing himself in a hot spring.  As Zapata wraps up topic one, VoxNeruda hurriedly swallows his biscuit as to not speak rudely with his mouth open and raises his hand.

Mr. Zapata, sorry to interupt but I found some lobster.  Got it in a box around back in my hiding spot.  If anyone wants to buy one from me, come meet me out back after the meeting.  Wouldn't your wives or husband be impressed if you came home and treated him or her to some nice lobster for dinner?  Plus, they're already dead so you don't need to ever boil them.  

Taking a well-deserved nap during the daily meeting, where nothing important usually happens, Elodin woke up at the mention of his name. Traditionally, when something important is about to be said or done, someone wakes him up, probably quite embarrassed by his attitude. Someone like young Grinterns who do not know yet how things are supposed to work. But there was no prior notice this time. Something different and unpredictable happened.

Uh... What? What is it about? The Grintamural football league? Of course I performed poorly, you gave my an undersized shirt, oversized shorts, no shoes at all because "you are a raccoon", "you can roll around" and other nonsense, then somehow expected me to give a world class performance.

Moreover, I suspect the very reason this league exists is to exploit poor raccoons! Shame on you Zapata, I'll launch a formal grinvestigation to clear my name. You will hear about this!

Now back in the fold, Nipper had given Grin-07 earnest assurances that he would do all he could to improve his behavior and attempt to be less hostile to the world around him. He'd sat attentively through Zapata's 12th meeting and as confusing as the speech was, remained focused. Great big hands clutched a clipboard had wrote down at feverish pace, almost every word that was said. He'd even noted What VoxNeruda had said about the very dodgy lobster being improperly stored round the back.

When Vox had finished speaking and Nipper had stopped wondering how that voice got so deep, he tried to politely raise his hand. This intent was actioned as a violent punching motion into the air. The blue paint hid his alarm as yet again intent and reality would not make friends. Nipper hoped to cover up his fumbled attempt at formality and decided to stand up. Thrusting himself up from his seat in a lurching motion that followed the punching fist like some salmon-spasming-superman. Now on his feet and painfully aware of the room's eyes on him, he was unable to keep focused on his ideal self and reverted to dark dagger-eyed scowls at everyone. Elodin, who had the misfortune of sitting next to him, recoiled at the sight of the clipboard being wielded by the leaping madman. As passive an object as it was, the furry fellow knew anything was possible and hedged his bets by choosing this moment to go get coffee from the back of the room.

Determined to display some progress Nipper gathered himself and addressed Zapata.

"Herro Misser Zapata. Herro ereyone. I back."

There was an underwhelming mumble around the room. 

"I no understand many of the word you say. Much was incomprehensibre. If we to understand, you need to use crearer ranguage!"

"OH THE FUCKIN' IRONY!" called Elodin from beside the coffee pot. Nipper felt confused. Externally however the dark rimmed eyes just narrowed as he stared at his crew mate. Elodin shrugged, Nipper looked back toward Zapata.

"Anyway. I very sorry for invested time and money in no resurts. I wirr try much harder to be better at ranguage and ress hostire to ferrow famiry member and other member of society... Even to dickhead."

There was a typically awkward silence while everyone tried to figure out if he'd finished or not, before eventually being put out of their misery. 

"Anyway fankyou. I hope you arr have happy and prosperous day."

With that he got up and went outside to talk to Vox about acquiring some lobster. 

Thank you VoxNeruda for the lobster offer. That is exactly the kind of Grindividual Grinitiative we want to see out of our associates. If anyone would like to take Mr. Neruda up on a nice shellfish dinner, please wait until after the meeting to find him by the dumpsters behind the building.

As for our friend Elodin, who could not cradle a pass if it were his own child, none of your theatrics can overshadow your Grinadequacy on the pitch. Please be advised that further Grindignities suffered by the organization on your behalf will not be looked upon kindly. There is no I in Team but there are two I's in Kill Elodin, so don't let mine see you slacking off again. 

We are, of course, very happy to welcome Nipper back to our meetings, and to see his lovely face - seething with the wrath of God - in the crowd again. I'm glad to hear that you will be focusing on weeding out any Grinappopriate behaviour, my kimono'd friend, your attitude is a breath of fresh air and your spirit is Grindomitable. 

If there are no further comments, we will be moving on to agenda topic #2 after a brief Grintermission...