Kuku, having ceased fearing death some time ago, puts one bullet into the chamber of his revolver.  He spins it around, looks at himself in the mirror and averts his eyes.  He thinks of Big Ape, and the men he spent time with in prison.  He thinks of them still living their life, their life of manly pleasures.  Kuku notices a tear running down his cheek, he whirs the chamber of the revolver around, places it to his temple and pulls the trigger.  It clicks.  A sudden release, anxiety over, guilt, mixed with pain.  Kuku remembers feeling this, the first time Big Ape introduced him to Scott Thorson - beautiful Scott.  Kuku remembers the first time he properly studied the nape of his neck, and the back of his head.  It was the first time he had conducted a study of these parts of a man's body.  Kuku recalls the studying becoming more intense, as he fought to stave off the eruption, the release, that had driven him into Scott's cell.  Scott, like Kuku, was an affectionate man, a man used to female attention.  In prison they had found each other.  But theres was not an arrangement, it was something more than that.  Kuku's feelings towards Scott were new, and that just heightened the pleasure.  Kuku recalled after that first time they sealed their bond with a Greek embrace, they talked and talked.  Scott said that now he'd been as one with a man, he would never again fear death.  Kuku felt the same.  They spoke of Big Ape, and how he feared no man.  Kuku missed Scott.  He got to thinking...  He had to make more money to effect his release...

FRIENDS!

Nothing is more exciting in this world than watching a duel.  Spectators have an idea of who is going to win.  

What I want to know is, should duelling be considered a profession?  Should we be given time, and a platform, to place bets on the outcome?

To: CommissarKuku
From: SamAdams
Sent: Apr 15, '20 15:34
Subject:

Hello Sir,

I'd like to nominate this thread for the most interesting speech.

Thanks,

Sam

This is certainly not the thread that I nominated. I nominated Heading Back Home, by Connor_McManus.

Well, colour me surprised.

That's not a member of the Kuku bloodline, being dishonest and fraudulent is it?

I never thought I'd see the day!

Actually, Chalk, what happened was that I meant to file @SamAdam's note in my special back alley thread, so that I could count the votes, but accidentally put it here instead.  And, of course, I knew fine well he hadn't nominated this speech.

I'll ask you to retract your accusation and apologise for it.

That's some great backtracking, and I'd like to say it's an imaginative excuse, but it isn't.

There will be no apology, and no retraction.

If the self-proclaimed 'Leader of the Streets' doesn't know what street he's on, or whether he's in a back alley or not, he definitely can't lead them. Could you please retract this claim, as if what you have said could even be considered slightly true, you have no business claiming that title.

Chalk smiles at CommissarKuku

Not that it's a real title, anyway.

Well, Chalk, if you look here you'll see the Street that I'm talking about, and you'll notice the times and dates of the things I placed there.

Then you'll realise that it was a simple admin error and that you are out of order. 

And if you were an actual man of honour, you would apologise.

I have looked, and it would appear that at the time of me standing here, you have not added Sam's nomination? Again, colour me surprised.

I am not out of order, as what you did would appear as dishonest and fraudulent. Much like your father.

I will not be apologising. As I said, as the self-proclaimed 'Leader of the Streets', you would surely know where you were when 'filing' things? Either you are lying and did in fact mean to be dishonest, or, you can not possibly consider yourself the 'Leader of the Streets'?

Which is it?

Chalk you turned down my challenge of a duel.  That tells us ALL exactly what type of man that you are.

You allege fraud, with no evidence.  You bring bloodline resentment to these Streets.

It wasn't me that dubbed me Leader of the Streets, it was others.  And I didn't nominate myself Street Orator of the Year; someone else did.

You're right about one thing, I did turn down your challenge of a duel.

As this was being dealt with privately, but you felt the need to bring it out here in order to try and make yourself look better in some way. Let's discuss it shall we?

Issuing a challenge to duel someone, when you are sat behind a vast amount of bodyguards, is not an act of bravery.

Me not accepting this challenge, when I am sat behind a much much smaller amount of bodyguards, is not cowardice, it's being smart.

If you had issued the challenge on a level playing field, and not with the odds heavily weighted in your favour, then I would've accepted.

It's easy to throw our challenges to duel when you have almost no chance of defeat.

Now that I've spelled it out in very simple terms for you, maybe you'll understand.

I suggest fraud, on the evidence above, which suggested fraud, and indicated you are dishonest, just like your father. It's not bloodline resentment, it's a trend.

In the case of who dubbed you 'Leader of the streets', who clearly wasn't thinking straight, who was this? Also, will you be rejecting this premise, due to you not even knowing what is a street and what is a back alley?

As I have pointed out, I have a traditionally weak gun and my bodyguards are not trained.  You have the benefit of rank and experience.

I think it's fairly evenly matched.  I'd even let you fire first.

I don't fear death, so I'd accept a duel from practically anyone.  But, you know, I'm brave.

And mistaking an alley for a Street is perfectly understandable.  Also worth pointing out the blatant truth that the vote I placed in the wrong place wouldn't have counted for a single thing.  

The only dishonesty is yours.

Trained or untrained, you have a count much superior to mine, hence why it is not a brave action.

Why only practically anyone? Why not literally anyone? If you were that brave, you would fear no one!

Perfectly understandable from a normal street go-er, yes. Perfectly understandable from the 'Leader of the Streets'? Not a chance. Also worth pointing out that doesn't count for a single thing, since SamAdams came out and called you out.

I am curious however, at what I have been dishonest about? Please elaborate.

You are dishonest to claim the Leader of the Streets could make a basic admin error.  

You are also literally making no sense.  For your wild claim about my fraudulent behaviour to remotely stack up, I'd have to attribute other votes to other speeches.  And, of course, since I'm organising it, none of my work will win anything.

You are dishonest because only someone intensely stupid could think such a thing.  So you are either intensely stupid or dishonest.

Perhaps both. 

You are certainly a coward.

Kuku checks his bank balance...

$7,000,000!  That's what I'll give you to accept the duelling challenge.  Or, you could always nominate someone?

According to you, the 'Leader of the Streets' DID make a basic admin error? Or are you saying that isn't the case? Thus making you dishonest?

Actually your work not winning anything is not obvious, because YOU are organising it. I can't rule anything out when dealing with you, as you are incredibly, dishonest.

I'm not sure how intelligence could link to dishonesty, maybe only someone who has no intelligence could think it did.

As I've said before, issuing a duel to someone who you practically can't lose to does not make you brave, and doesn't make the other person a coward.

Please, brush up on your vocabulary, and your grasp of the English language. It's truly askew.

I would also ask you to refrain from insulting someone who out ranks you.

You are a Capo.  I am a Made member.  

I will treat you as you treated me.  Except I won't behave like the coward that you are.

Nobody from my bloodline has ever won one of the competitions organised by them.  Not one.  Your fevered paranoid nonsense is your own.  Own it.

It is obvious from what I said that it was a basic admin error.  It is mischievous, and devious, of you to claim otherwise.

Issuing a duel to a person who outranks a person IS brave, particularly when it is assumed that that person has a stronger gun.  And it's cowardly to turn it down.

You are a terrible coward. 

Chalk sighs.

Honestly, try to think about it.

Yes, Capo. Capo outranks Made Man. I treated you correctly for the situation. Treating someone who outranks you in the same way does not make it okay.

Please think about your actions. I have asked you to refrain.

Or what?  What will you do?  You've already proved that you are not willing to put your life on the line.

Chalk laughs

Or what?

Chalk laughs again

I didn't realise we were school children on a playground! I will put my life on the line when my Crew Leader tells me I need to, not because a little flower on the street took my words to heart.

Chalk laughs again, muttering under his breath "Or what!?"

CommissarKuku, perhaps you'd like to elaborate why my nomination is meaningless?

Chalk - so you'll do nothing?  That's what I thought.

SamAdams - your nomination is full of meaning.  Placed where it was accidentally placed, it is devoid of meaning, because it was a vote for a different, and the vote had, hidden within it, the details of the actual speech.

What Chalk is saying, because he is really fucking dumb, is that I used your vote to vote for my own speech.  The only problem with that is that I haven't used that voting system for anything else.

Your vote, SamAdams, is valid, for the purpose that you intended it for.  It meaningless for the purpose Chalk is stroking his tiny little cowardly pecker for.