VoxNeruda steps from behind the bait shop where he has been holed up for the night. An earthworm crawls out of his beard and falls to the ground as he speaks.

One staple of our mafia community that has been unwavering over the decades of our existence is the lack of tolerance for funeral disrespect. Upsetting the sanctity of one's funeral is an automatic death sentence, even at the resting place of the most heinous of men or women. This is not up for debate, nor should it be.

However I would like to pose this question for you all to consider. What if, and I'm of course speaking hypothetically, someone were to attend a funeral that is being heavily attended by some of the wealthier members of La Costra Nostra and started politely asking them for money?  Not a lot of money, but perhaps just a little bit to get this hypothetical attendee through the day.  Could this in fact be foolishly misinterpreted as funeral disrespect?  Personally I would say no, as most likely anyone with an ounce of compassion or brain would agree.  But now I pose the question to you.  I welcome and encourage you all to share your thoughts on this scenario, civilly of course.

Father Jack is being taken for his daily outing in his wheel chair when he motions for Bob to stop so he can listen to a man with a similar look to himself.

"ARSE BISCUITS!"

Bob behind Father Jack clears his throat to speak

Bob: "I apologise for the Fathers response, what I believe he meant to so was that there is a time and a place for everything and a funeral is purely for people to pay their respects to the dead not ask attendees for hand outs. I'm quite sure that if the good Father here was conducting such a ceremony he would ask me to eject such a person from the church grounds"

Randy looks over at the filthy bum and raises his eyebrow.

Here brother, take this $20,000 and go get yourself cleaned up, worms belong in the ground, not in your beard!

You make a salient point though, my take on it is, once we have departed this world, all sins are forgiven and there is really no place for disrespect in the funeral parlour or the church.  We pay our dues in life and in death; that should be the end of it.  

I would certainly look unfavourably on those begging or requesting money at a funeral but does it constitute disrespect?  I would say only to the sanctity of the church as they have been fishing to get that roof fixed for as long as I can remember; it is certainly not a slant on the recently deceased.

After his recent promotion, Chalk was walking the streets enjoying a fine cuban cigar, when he happened on a shaggy looking man speaking about begging for money at funeral.

I would personally say it would be very disrespectful to beg for money at a funeral. Whereas you are not directly disrespecting the dead by 'pissing on their grave' so to speak, you would be inadvertently disrespecting them. Funerals are for loved ones and friends to pay their respects to the fallen, and for someone to be asking these people for money would be disrespecting the reason that the people are gathered there.

What about if, hypothetically speaking, it were a situation where this individual set up a donation box at the wake, perhaps for the next of kin, of which a small percentage were to go into his pockets for administrative fees? That sounds like a lovely and charitable thing to do. 

Come on now Zapata, we all know where that money would go, and it wouldn't be to the next of kin.

Curses the Catholic Church under his breath. 

I think Zapata has a point.  If that shabby hobo looking guy was to have a box that said "For candles" then people might feel more inclined to drop a penny or two into it.

VoxNeruda stuffs the $20,000 into his baggy pockets and bows his head in respect and shame to Randy_Marsh.

Bless you sir, this is most helpful.  Just 10k more would be even more helpful but only if you can spare it and don't mind.  I'd also like to thank everyone else that contributed to this discussion and proving that hot topics such as this can be spoken about in a civil manner after all.  However I do think it's important to point out that in this hypothetical story the person isn't begging for money, he is asking politely.  Maybe even asking after sincere respects were made about whoever the guy is that the funeral is for.

Actually, I think the idea of a do ation box, run by city hall, where people could donate to the next of kin of the deceased it would be a good idea. I think Zapata should take a trip down to Suggestions Avenue and discuss this further, I for one would back its suggestion. City hall could even put a time limit on how long after the funeral it could be collected, and a maximum amount that could be donated to avoid cash being 'disappeared' during a war.

Whether they were begging or asking politely, I believe the outcome to be the same, VoxNeruda.

Chalk turns to Charles_Barkley.

Are you saying, 'For Candles', 'Four Candles', or 'Fork Handles'? This is very important and could sway my response.

Chuckster looks at the imaginary sign and spells out the letters for Chalk..

F O R  C A N D L E S

There are a couple of guys in Ronnie's hardware shop who might do a multi-deal on candles

Chalks scoffs.

Well, in that case it is ridiculous! Money for candles!? Are you insane!?

It would be much more acceptable to ask for fork handles!

Chalk wanders off, trying to find this Ronnie's shop.

VoxNeruda listens closely and nods as he contemplates all the great input he has received on this important subject.

I stand here overwhelmed with appreciation for all the great feedback.  So it's settled then... begging for or even asking mourners at a funeral for money, even if being done so politely, is frowned upon unless they are selling something, be it candles or this or that.  Let's not get too hung up on what is being sold so long as we are in agreement that it is otherwise acceptable.  Sincere gratitude for all your responses today.  Unless there is anything else, I have some sad services I must attend.  

Last Will and Testament of Chyna

I certify that this will was made by me, as my last wishes, under no duress or coercion whatsoever. It is my last wishes, upon my death, that donations be made, in my memory, to VoxNeruda. I have many generous friends and I know that they will not disrespect my memory by not honoring these, my very last wishes, but will show Mr. VoxNeruda the same honor and respect they give me. 

~Chyna~