SamAdams mounts a crate and says:

Hello all! I'm proud to show you our latest issue, beautifully printed by AntoOC! Enjoy!

As much as I'd love to read your wonderful rag, my Bodyguards snatched it out of my hand with a stark warning that it was unsafe and may contain viruses or Trojans. The risk of infection I understand, but I dont know how a packet of condoms would prove dangerous...

Dunno why, Mr. Goldust, my BGs are perfectly fine with it.

Nice work with the newspaper Mr. Adams. It's very wonderful to read. Thank you.

A great read....the new printing company has done an amazing job, as well.

Another good edition, Sam.

I know what Goldust means, my bodyguards were also a bit cautious about letting me touch the newspaper, but I decided it was worthwhile to accept the risk, and it was!

Great reading, really like the effort you put in in this SamAdams, keep up the good work mate

Thanks to everyone for their compliments. Please note that my BGs, who were trained at the elite Mac Protection, Inc, have no problem with the paper. If your BGs still refuse to let you see it, let me know and I'll send you a proof copy.

Randy gives SamAdams @ hearty thwack on the back.

Great read Sam, as always.  I left a little something to help with publishing costs.  It's a shame we didn't get any more elaboration on the dueling incident but I am sure you will be forthcoming with some commentary from the masses in the next issue!

A great read thanks Sam, and particularly proud for it to feature a whole segment on Detroit's fantastic 12th street district. I'm sure this in no-way reflects any form of editorial bias of course!

I'd very much like to also echo Sean's words regarding the excellent new printing company, keep up the good work.

Also to highlight again, I'm offering a 400k reward to the first person to come to me with proof of 10 successful pickpocket attempts on that vociferous creature Elodin, these must be since the date of printing.

-TrashPanda

I would like to come forward and encourage anyone wishing to participate in the looting of Elodin's pockets, as they have been a great source of income and joy for me over the past weeks. In these fraught times of duels and street quarreling, it is important that you devote yourself to something noble and fulfilling, such as stealing money from sentient roadkill hoarding pocketfuls of 15,000 dollar money clips. 

Mar 30, 17:11:39    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Mar 31, 13:19:27    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Mar 31, 19:22:42    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Mar 31, 22:33:57    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 01, 12:04:00    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 01, 19:14:47    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 02, 07:22:08    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 02, 14:28:23    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 03, 13:03:19    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 03, 10:32:23    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 03, 21:37:31    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 04, 22:27:45    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 04, 18:53:11    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 05, 09:43:08    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 05, 13:50:08    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 05, 16:18:18    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 05, 19:01:06    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 06, 09:19:32    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 06, 11:46:37    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 07, 09:12:04    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 07, 10:18:34    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 07, 12:16:02    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 08, 10:09:02    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 08, 12:31:25    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 08, 22:08:14    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 11, 21:03:06    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 13, 09:03:08    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 13, 12:09:19    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 13, 14:33:19    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 13, 16:01:43    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 13, 18:05:01    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 15, 19:19:27    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.
Apr 16, 07:33:41    You PICKPOCKETED! Elodin. You took $15,000.

Zapata truly a great pickpocker and need no more practise on that, I still dig graves and just pick some pocket when its needed and are really bad at it so far.

Always sad for those who gets pick pocked that get mad about 15k they lose. Hope this also comes in The Star-Examiner soon :p

Have it the best all readers of this awesome paper.

I would like to come forward and encourage anyone wishing to participate in the looting of Elodin's pockets, as they have been a great source of income and joy for me over the past weeks. In these fraught times of duels and street quarreling, it is important that you devote yourself to something noble and fulfilling, such as stealing money from sentient roadkill hoarding pocketfuls of 15,000 dollar money clips. 

I would like to come forward and discourage anyone which to participate in the systematic and shameful looting of my pockets, as it has been a great source of inconvenience over the past few weeks.

This activity is far from noble. Instead, I suggest you spend your time in a more productive way, such as making sure that the garbage of every city is full of fresh and delicious food, preferably enough for several raccoons. After all, we are reproducing at an alarming very reasonable rate and need a way to keep everyone fed and happy. Thanks you all very much.  

Having just finished the latest issue of The Star-Examiner Latom couldn't help but smile. The message had come out exactly as they had hoped. It had been important to word everything carefully. Coming on to to strong and people would know that something fishy was up. It was a fine line between giving enough praise, too make it believable, and too much praise. Looking at a few others reading the issue it seemed like the wording had been perfect. "because they deserve it".

"- Nice read Mr. Adams. I feel like you captured the essence of the interview beautifully."

As she began to walk away she couldn't help but smile to herself. It had been planned for quite some time. Weeks even. "because they deserve it"... Latom was smiling again. More like throwing the trash out. Things were finally for the better around the headquarters.

Hello SamAdams kind sir, I recently sent you a hot tip for your upcoming paper and was wondering if that kind of juicy info pays anything?  Maybe a few bucks or whatever you might be able to spare?  I could have kept the information to myself but I chose to give it to you, for what that's worth.  Anyways have a blessed day sir and bless you for any generosity you might throw my way.

VoxNeruda takes the paper to his favorite park bench and covers himself with it like a blanket.