| May 19 - 15:56:38 |
|
| Post Reply | Post new topic | Page: 1 |
| Retiring my player pimp Hat | Started by: SillySausage on Feb 29, '08 07:37 |
|
SillySausage enters wearing his pink big pimping hat After years of playing the game, having some fun, breaking some hearts and picking up a few infections along the way it is time for me to settle down. This morning, an amazing thing happened, my long term play thing got down on one knee and propsed. She is a young lady who I have always had strong feelings for, but never been able to stay faithful too. With it being a leap year, I had to say yes. So thats it over, I am going to try my best to remain faithful. 1 Vagina for the rest of my life. However, as I am such a nice guy, I thought I would share my player pimp tips with all of you. There are 3 simple steps to being a world class player pimp like myself: 1) Snaring the catch 2) Doing the deed 3) Disposing the catch SNARING THE CATCH The best method to use is the 'chuck a lot of shit on the wall and some will stick' method. Too often, wannabe player pimps go out, spot 1 target and spend the entire night chasing that target. Getting close to where she is on the dance floor, doing the accidental 'bum touch bum' dance, going to the bar at the same time to try and get her to notice you. Most wannabe player pimps have 1 target in the night, spend the entire night chasing her, then leave empty handed. Having 1 target reduces the chance of snaring a catch. My advice, forget about chatting her up, forget about buying drinks, forget about giving her attention. Best thing to do is go straight upto a girl and mutter the following: 'Do you want to fuck.' Now in my experience, 9 times out of 10, this will result in either: a) a no b) a slap c) a drink over the head d) a kick in the privates However, there is that 1 time in 10 when the girl will simply say yes. And this is why you jsut ahve to keep going. Get rejected, move straight onto the next target, 1 a minute through the entire night, you can get through a couple hudnred girls. The odds show that you will snare one of them. Try it, it works. DOING THE DEED My first tip is always be prepared to do the deed. As soon as she says yes, dont mess about. With the snaring being so quick, she isnt going to want to dance, have a drink bought, or anything else, she is just up for it. Look for the nearest available place, toilet, alley way, phone box, corner, on the bus, on the train, anywhere. It need not be nice, it need not be romantic. Remember, your a player pimp and you have 1 thing on your mind and your ultimate goal is to do that. However, you must always have an exit stratergy. DISPOSING THE CATCH For me, there are 2 simply and easy ways to get out of the awarkdness of the post-deed embarasments. 1) Just as the deed is being completed, shout to 'i love you.' this will freak her out and make ehr run off, never to be seen again 2) After the deed is done, open your wallet, chuck hher a couple of dollars, take the slap and leave. Both of these fool proof methods will mean there is never a chance of a potential stalker and you can jsut move on to your next target. So ladies and gentleman, that is it for me, this player pimp is retiring his pimp hat SillySausage takes off his pimp hat and throws it into the crowd where little Numbers4Glory catches it. |
|
| Report Post | Tip |
| Post Reply | View All Threads | Page: 1 |
How much do you want to tip for this post?
Minimum $20,000
Minimum $20,000
