Teach was sitting on the porch of a new acquaintance smoking a pipe and passing the time. It was an old house, the wood porch had some character, but the weather was nice. A cool evening with no humidity. As Teach took a few puffs of the pipe he turned to his friend and smiled.

"Have you ever heard the expression, 'He really shat the bed this time'?"

His friend looked at him, confused at the random outburst, and shook his head no. Teach took another long drag on the pipe and exhaled a cloud of smoke. 

"I'll tell you, there was once this man. He lived in New York City. No one knows the man's name as it's been ages since he walked this Earth, but we all know the tale. You see, this man suffered from some mental issues. He would walk around carrying a bag of snack food with him at all times. Nothing too strange about that right?"

Teach took another hit from the pipe.

"Well, here's where that changes. This man was known to take food with him into the restroom, spend a good hour on the John, then emerge with nothing. Why? You may be asking yourself. This man's condition made him believe that he needed to maintain his current weight at all times, or he would spontaneously combust, and die a horrible fiery death."

Teach watched as his friend rose his eyebrow at him.

"Now, in order to maintain that weight. He would eat while defecating. As unsanitary as it sounds, to him, it was a necessity. If he urinated, he would try to drink the same per-portion of liquid simultaneously. Defecating meant trying to eat solid food, I believe he preferred chocolate bars if I'm not mistaken. All in an effort to maintain his current body weight at all times."

Teach paused and scratched his beard.

"Now where the saying originates? One night he ate some under-cooked chicken, so the story goes, and went to sleep. In his sleep this man defecated in his bed due to the severe food poisoning that he encountered due to the chicken. The worse part? He really did immediately combust into a massive ball of flames. The New York City fire department responded, put out the fire, and conducted an investigation. There was no sign of what could possibly have started the fire. Nothing at all."

Teach paused for a minute looking his friend directly in the eyes.

"The investigator simply walked over to his superior and said, 'He shat the bed sir.'"

Teach passed the pipe to his friend.

"Well, at least that's how I think the expression came to exist. Hey tell me, what's in that pipe man?"

Dreamcatcher inhaled the smoke from the pipe he'd been passed from EdwardTeach deeply and exhaled calmly. He'd listened to his friends story with great intrigue. However, he couldn't go any further until two burning questions had been answered.

"Did the guy wash his hands? If so, did he use moisturiser? He must have to stop his hands cracking."

Meliodass was walking past an old house when she overheard a man's voice, talking about someone shitting on their bed. She noticed it came from the porch of the house where two men were smoking. 

She didn't mean to eavesdrop but she could clearly hear their conversation, which was more of one person talking. Not really seeing their faces, Mel continued walking as she heard him talk about someone exploding after he shat his bed.

"Strangely interesting story," she thought but she didn't want to disturb their privacy either so she left.