In this business, cash isn't really the issue. My men make their collections, they make their dropoffs and their drug sales, and the money, one way or another, filters back to me. The problem is clean cash; something that I can show on a balance sheet and justify to the Government when they come knocking trying to get me banged up.

With this in mind, I was given the name of a numbers guy, Lordian, who had moved some cash around for a buddy of mine. Turned out this guy had some sort of scam going where he could deliver a 100% return on your investment, washing your dirty money, doubling it and paying you back in sparkly clean dollar bills too.

Who was I to say no to this? My man assured me it was all above board and I had piles and piles of filthy hitlist-buyout cash sitting around, so I thought, fuck it, why not? I sent Lordian $25,000,000 for his fund to be returned to me at some point in the future, within a week usually.

A week went by and I hadn't heard anything. I didn't panic, my man had been paid back and the fund had a stellar reputation. It would surely just be a little while longer and I am patience personified.

Another week and still nothing. I started asking questions and the answers I was getting were not filling me with confidence. Apparently he owed $100,000,000 to the Grin Gang, Zapata had money stashed with him too. He'd taken a pounding at the dice tables. Debts to Billie as well and worse still, he hadn't been seen on the street. His collections went unmade. He had become a ghost.

I begin to wonder if I have now been scammed. Was the Mastrosimone Mutual Fund just another Ponzi scheme that eventually went bust? Does anyone else have investments in this or any information about whether or not he's intending to honour his debt? I'd love to know.

I have a modest $3M out with him at the moment.  I've communicated regularly with Lordian for about 3 weeks up until the time he disappeared.  He has taken up to three months to pay a debt to a friend of mine before and he currently has a note in his office saying he "doesn't feel well".  My suspicion is that he's dealing with some health issues and hasn't intended to be away for this long.

Running a business is the way in which Lordian prefers to live out his life in this thing of ours and from our correspondence I believe he truly enjoys it.  I sincerely hope that he has not taken us all for a ride because that would mean I will have badly misjudged his character.

I believe he is an honest man.  If you review his policies, while $25M is the maximum investment there are no scheduled dates for return.  I choose to believe he will pay us back when he can.  I'm an investor myself so in the meantime I'm making gains on my own but I understand the importance of reliability in a firm when you trust your hard won money to it.  I wish you all the best of luck and good health and a speedy return to Lordian.

...err yeah? About $15,000,000 in the hole myself with ol' Lordian. Just waiting for the insurance payout to come through now as it goes.

A business such as the Mastrosimone Mutual Fund is only as good as the word of the proprietor and unfortunately it does seem as if Lordian has absconded with numerous outstanding debts to his clients. Did he run himself into the ground playing dice? From what I have heard after speaking with several other disgruntled investors, the amount of money he was due to pay out is quite staggering. 

Then again, perhaps he is busy cavorting with a harem of high-class escorts on the French Riviera, a slipstream of our money flying behind his luxury yacht. Autumn in the Seychelles? Until monsoon season at least, but he'll be on the slopes of Megève by the first snowfall. Is there such a thing as too much champagne? I suppose if this were the case, he would be sure to find out. 

Ah, to live the life of Lordian, the dream of any aspirational young thief.... 

"Caviar with breakfast? Only Beluga will do and I'll take my tea in the diamond encrusted cup today, Giles. Yes, that's right, like every other morning -ha ha. And throw the rest of those lobster tails onto the grass for the servants to eat, after they've mucked out the stables for the morning ride of course. I think it'll be Summer today, but saddle Buttercup too. She can carry my wallet..."

If only we were all a dollar behind Lordian. Unless he spunked our money up the wall and ran off from his debtors of course; of which we currently have accounted for $236,000,000 and 600 credits, which at market rate takes it to just under $500,000,000 outstanding. Wow. Now, I'm not saying Lordian is scamming us, but half a billion dollars is quite a black hole for a man to be staring down the barrel of.

And by debtors, I meant creditors.

"Let's not go to St. Tropez this year, darling, I simply cannot be seen with another yuppie in a crushed velvet blazer. It would ruin me. I didn't steal 500 million dollars to spill Pol Roger on the nouveau riche." 

I certainly hope that none of this is true and that he returns with all of our money in tow. But the days seem to be passing quickly now and our friend is nowhere to be seen. Is there anyone else unaccounted for? Another set of debts to add up? I hope they speak up if so. I would love to know the full extent of the money-owed by the Mastrosimone Mutual Fund; the depth of the crisis he may be running from. 

Funnily enough, I'm running something similar to him. Send me monies please?

With all of this Mastrimone stuff coming to light, I would just like everyone know that my very own lending organization has repaid all of its two lucky clients their twelve credits they've entrusted with us and made them well over twenty credits in PURE profit. Wow! So if anyone would like to send on over 500 million, I would be more than happy to at least quadruple that money for you.

Please head on over to 'The Great Dice Idea' for more information.

I must say this surprises me. My kin has known the Lordian bloodline since they came to these shores. They have all been upstanding mobsters (if there is such a thing.) I can't see Lordian intentionally avoiding people. He has had health issues for many years. I would believe his public statement regarding that.

It's obvious hundreds on millions are either tied up or lost. Not knowing how long he will be out or if he will even return must be frustrating. It sounds like he has has severe dice losses. Unfortunately, even if he returns he will likely not be able to recover from that. He is an average man of average means, not rich by any means.

It's sad to see this but what do you do? Do you ever cut your losses or does it carry over to his kin? Can he recover from this (here?) Bad things happen to good men and that is what appears to have happened here.

No matter the case, I do wish him a speedy recovery. He has been a good friend for a long time.