Side.

That's right guys. There's a new King in town. King Fidd, King of the North-Side.

I hereby declare that from this point henceforth thou peasants and pissants shall refer to yours truly as King Fidd, King of the North, King of Kings, King of Chicago or King Fiddy Fidd Fidd the First of his name and last of his kind in the history of the world.

As part of my first action as King, I hereby declare that in North Side you are susceptible to a good PPing from Fidd. However, mugging of Fidd will be frowned upon. Should you mug the King of the North, this may be punishable by death. You have been warned. Don't make me upset your leaders. Poor old Smurfette did just that and look where she ended up.

Another rule that we're going to put in place here in North Side is that you have to pay me tax. Upon your visit to North Side, you will need to send me $5,000. The reason for this being that you're here on my land, amongst my brethren, making money. Therefore, if you are not here paying tribute to thy king, you are making a mockery of thy king and the only one who is permitted to do so, is thy Court Jester, BonJonBovi. If you're spotted here without paying thy North-Side Taxes, it will be seen as a most serious crime and a night in the dungeons might be in order for you, as well as Thy Royal Tax Collectors paying a visit to your door.

Further to the above, women may not pass gas in public. Doing so will be considered a most heinous crime.

There will be further laws put in place here in North Side but for now consider these all to be getting on with. Please familiarise thyself with the district rules before entering. 

Thank you all for your time, thy King bids you good night.

~King Fidd~

First off, I’d like to congratulate you on your coronation. 
 

Secondly, can I acquire about this dungeon you speak of? Is it like a sex dungeon? I have one of those, and was curious if yours might be better. Torture chamber? Don’t threaten me with a good time. Regular dungeon lined with cells? Boooooooring. 

Zooming around the City of Chicago swerving the traffic, The King of the Underscores hears about someone proclaiming to be a King. Word on the street had reached him that the North Side had become open for business having been previously heavily controlled by the FBN. A sharp right turn took him to North Side and he stepped out of his car to see what all the fuss was about and who this new 'King' was. 

'Ah Fidd' he says with relief.

'I though some new, young pretender had stepped up and announced his King worthiness. Congratulations on your move from one self-proclaimed King to another. I am sure you will do the North Side proud'

Jumping back into his car he slaps the back of the driver's seat and leans out of the window.

'I am sure I'll be visiting the North Side again soon, and next time I'll bring some whiskey'

With that the driver floors the accelerator and he screeches down the road before he gets hit with this mysterious 5000 dollar tax. 

Sao- Thank you for your congratulations, please feel free to come over to North Side free of charge for one visit. I would enjoy the company of a knight such as yourself. We could go and check out the dungeons ourselves and break fast together one morning. What say you?

Prince Liney man, no young pretender here, only I. King of the North. I'll look forward to that whisky.

Suddenly some trumpets sounded and a man steps out onto the streets, he brings with him a scroll and unravels this and then looks up at the crowd.

"It is hereby decreed that a sum of $100,000 can be sent to King Fidd, King of the North, which will allow individuals indefinite passage to this fair land."

The trumpets sound once more and the man steps back.

TheFiend was walking the streets of the North Side when he was randomly approached by Fidd. TheFiend stepped back and kept a close eye on this guy as he didn't know who he was. The man asked for his $5,000 tax, confused because he hadn't heard about this tax yet, he dug into his pocket and handed over $5,000. TheFiend did not like giving handouts especially with money, but he did it to keep the peace in the world and it was only a short change amount.

"Have a good day, Mr. Fidd." he said as he turned around laughing.

Applauds Fidd, smiling from under his helmet. 

"This sir takes some big balls, I wish the best to you"