Anton, when asked YET AGAIN about the alleged "circle jerks" in Chicago, begins to tell the assembled men what he knows...

"It goes something like this.  And this is a generation or two ago.  Now some of these men had done hard time, and during that time in prison, they fell under the spell of a man, and his name was Big Ape.  Big Ape was a forward thinking social and sexual revolutionary.  Until the late, great WesWatson bested him in a burpee contest, resulting in Big Ape dying, he was the shot-caller.

Anyways, most of the guys that did time with Big Ape were very open-minded, sexually, socially and politically.  When they got out, they concerned themselves with outreach programmes, acceptance programmes, that kind of thing.  That, and building an almost unassailable criminal organisation.  

During one of the outreach programmes, with the homeless, a guy named VoxNeruda impressed the powers-that-be.  He ended up in the upper structure.  But he would sometimes host meetings in a public restroom.  As you can imagine, a lot of the guys in the Chicago crews were stressed out.  Vox suggested they go to his "glory hole" to "de-stress."  The "de-stressing" involved standing in a circle and seeking relief, with the use of hands.  It was intimate, these gatherings.  To the uninitiated, because of the circular arrangement of the men, and the rhythmic arm movements, it could appear to a deviant mind that these were "circle jerks."

But the absolute, ultimate, and only aim of these so-called circle jerks was relief.  I mean, what do you think happened?  Do you accusatory buffoons believe this this happened?  

VoxNeruda: OK men, gather round in a circle.  Let's start the relief

Chi Upper Structure: Great!  I'm stressed

(Rhythmic relief sounds.  An Onanistic ohm of hypnotism)

Random Chi member:  Wait, can we talk about killing some no-name C in some no-mark city?  It's important

VoxNeruda: Yes, let's stop what we are doing and head over to that city and kill him!

Chi Upper Structure (In unison): Listen to Vox!  Yes!

No, that's not what happened.  THIS is what happened:

VoxNeruda: OK men, gather round in a circle.  Let's start the relief

Chi Upper Structure: Great!  I'm stressed

(Rhythmic relief sounds.  An Onanistic ohm of hypnotism)

Random Chi member:  Wait, can we talk about killing some no-name C in some no-mark city?  It's important

VoxNeruda: NO, WE CANNOT!  THIS IS THE CHICAGO "CIRCLE JERK" - WE ARE HERE FOR RELIEF, AND NOTHING ELSE.

Chi Upper Structure (In unison): Listen to Vox!  JERK.

SO, NOW YOU KNOW.  CAN WE STOP WITH THE "CIRCLE JERK" MURDER ALLEGATIONS ?  THANKS!