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Ladies And Gentleman We Need Your Help Started by: PoisonIvy on Jul 17, '20 06:57

 Ivy finds herself wondering the streets of Las Vegas when she runs into a crowd of people standing around and enjoying some music in the area. Some familiar faces and some that she has never seen before were gathered around. She walks up to the musician just as he finished his last song. As he puts his microphone back on it’s stand she asks him politely if she can borrow it.

“Hello all of you wonderful people. How are you doing tonight? @Ronnie-Radke and I have recently been having a debate of sorts and would love to have your help settling a debate that we are having. You see the ever conceited Ronnie-Radke thinks that he is gods gift to the ladies and the sexiest person that ever graced these shores. I however beg to differ and believe that I am a bit sexier than he is. That’s where you fine people come in! Come and cast your votes so that we may settle this delicate matter before Ronnies head explodes. We don’t want that to happen. So please sound off and let him know that he is just wishful thinking, and have a fantastic day everyone!”

Ivy laughs as she drops the mic and walks away.

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I am the Golden God, sexy as fuck, selling my bathwater. Everyone knows this so this whole vote thing is moot. A contest between mortals is irrelevant in the grand scheme... Among the mortals, Foamy is the sexiest, regardless of gender.

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Henrietta was amongst the crowd and she thought to herself "is this even a contest" with a slight chuckle she walked up to the soapbox looked to her left and flashed a smile at PoisonIvy then to her left at nikki sixx lite--Ronnie-Radke then proceeds to speak

"my vote goes to you sugar, 10/10 would go lesbo for you, now compared to nikki sixx lite who wished me to fall down the stairs earlier i just want to state publicly that the steps and by extension the floor is harder than he ever will get" she said jokingly before smiling at PoisonIvy again and stepping off the soapbox

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Ronnie snaps his fingers and two women run and pick the microphone up, one cleans and poilishes it the other holds it to his mouth, he stands up tall, the one woman now wiping dust from his jacket. 

 

“Good morning fine people of the United States! I hope you’re all doing as well as I look!  It has come to my attention that someone wants to have a vote! To see who is sexier, but there be no need for a vote! No no.” Ronnie says shaking his head. “ Taps-Man night I call upon you sir! I know myself that you are one of the sexiest men in this country, now this is merely speculative, no hard evidence has yet to be found.” 

 

“But that’s not what I want you for! No Mr... Man? Would you by any chance say that I. Ronnie-Radke am the sexiest man alive, bested by only Clarkson but he doesn’t count. He’s a god!”

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You may be the sexiest human, i'll leave that up to the others.

But as @Spike_Spiegel says, i'm the sexiest motherfucking mammal of all!

anyone for tea?

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The faint sound of salsa music can be heard gradually getting louder and louder until a mariachi band and an entourage of a dozen beautiful women centered with a dancing Dirty-Sanchez arrive.

 

Ahhh man..  As you can see I am the sexiest man alive. I mean come on man, look at this stache, twisting the ends before continuing, Ladies I am available if you are interested in Dirty-Sanchez. Turns and winks at PoisonIvy.  You senorita are the sexiest of this vote.

 

Doing a little 3 step tap with his feet at the same time throwing both arms in the air snapping is fingers. The band begins and Dirty-Sanchez and his senorita's dance down the street out of view.

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Hush was wandering around, looking for things to kill, people to rob, businesses to extort, but wound up coming up on the crowd voting for the sexiest person. Hush thought to himself, he's obviously sexier than this Ronnie-Radke character, and possibly even PoisonIvy but he was going to let someone else have the glory for once.

"I'd like to cast my vote" Hush yelled over the din.

He pushed his way through, looking both characters up and down, back and forth. There was certainly a douche-bag type allure to to Ronnie-Radke but that's all it was. There was something tantalizing about PoisonIvy. She certainly fit the bill, but the threat of an itchy rash had to be accounted for as well.

"I've made my decision...PoisonIvy has my vote!"

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It can’t be Ronnie because Gonzo is gods gift to the ladies. He says as he huffs on ether whilst stumbling around.

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Well now seeing that I am God and I alone gave out the gift of looks and the gift to please a woman it is no question that I Tristan God in flesh on earth am the sexiest.   Do I not created man and woman and blessed them to reproduce and fill my earth.   That devil has twisted your minds and confused my gifts and have you all battling over something that you can't win.  Why worry over your gift for I have given you all a gift and yet you figth over something that you can not create ot give.   I promised I would not flood the earth again but don't push it.  Bow down and give me your love for I am love.  

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Tristan heard PoisonIvy's prayer's and was touched, he blessed her with a loving heart whiched increased her already amazing beauty making her win more votes then she could have ever hoped or imagined for.   

 

I decree a thing and it is so. 

PoisonIvy shall indeed be seen as the most beautiful, one that will make man's heart beat faster with loving desire.

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RIDICULOUS!
Judge_Topperson yelled at Tristan

How can you draw such a conclusion in the name of all of us?! What are you, a judge?
No, no.. threefold no!
This is definitely not how things work in here.. We may live in a democracy, and we may have freedom of speech, but that does not mean you can just conclude things the way you do.
To make proper judgements, one has to look at all circumstances, evidence and..

The judge lifted an enveloppe and showed it to the gathered crowd

This is how our democracy works!

Seeing a couple of confused expressions around him, Judge_Topperson decided to comment on a couple of things that had been going on around here.

I'd like to achronologically address a couple of things brought up here..

Judge_Topperson never was troubled by lack of knowledge, and therefore prioritized in his own way
Most importantly.. Foamy..
Since when are rodents mammals?

Dirty-Sanchez.. This vote is about who is the sexiest in the country. So you can't claim to be exactly that and let PoisonIvy win the vote. That, and the content of this enveloppe, disqualifies your vote.

Hush, it would be too easy too tell you to hush, so I do, as noone paid me to not tell you to hush.

Then, SpikeSpiegel, if you ask me, and you should, because after all, I have been requested to come judge this voting..
You are out of this competition. Same reasoning for you, Gonzo..
Unless you send me an anonymous cheque with your name on it, of course.. That would make you eligible for sure..

Don't drop a microphone like that, PoisonIvy. Do you have any clue of their worth?

By the content of this enveloppe and the power vested in me by the state and the board of judges, as well as the lack of enveloppes by others, I declare Ronnie-Radke to not only be the sexiest man in this country, but also the sexiest woman and person this country has ever seen.

This conclusion includes God-like figures like Clarkson, for as long as they haven't sent figures to make bank account..

Yes, I'd like some tea, Foamy.. That will give me some time to consider why a vote between two ridiculously good-looking people mostly brings people and other creatures stepping forward to tell how good they look themselves.. It won't be long before PaulyD enters to do the same, I reckon..

Having calmed down a bit, Judge_Topperson smiled as he re-opened the enveloppe and counted the sexy number of banknotes..

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Foamy seductively wiggles his tail in the Judges direction and tucks a little something in his g-string (we all know what goes on under those gowns)

May justice be served!

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A limousine pulls up on the Vegas strip. People waiting pull out a red carpet and open a door. Two ladies step out of the limo. Then a leg touches the red carpet, slowly Johnny steps out of the limo and walks with the two ladies one on each arm down the red carpet. He makes his way towards the people and steals the microphone.

"FOOLS! Ladies and gentlemen. I AM THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!"

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The facial and physical expression of Judge_Topperson made some wonder if Auguste Rodin had been travelling through time before creating his famous sculpture back in 1881.

In reality, the judge was wondering why Foamy was looking for something under his gown when it was a public secret that there never was anything there..
Then he remembered! One day, in law school..
..Or was it kindergarten..?

Not important, one day he had learned that squirrel's memory, or the lack thereof, was crucial in the emergence of forests, as they always forgot where they had hidden their nuts.

Coming back to reality, Judge_Topperson relaxed, and as he did, his muscles did, including his ass cheeks. Because of the relief of tension, a small enveloppe fell on the floor from the inside of his gown. Topperson picked it up and inspected the content and smiled

Well.. I guess that now, I have all evidence to say that rodents are mammals, too..

But, Ronnie-Radke clearly still is the most sexy individual around these shores. By far..

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Hear, hear, all attendees, including newly approached Johnny-McIver..

Attention please!

Judge_Topperson smashed his hammer on the podium floor as he did not have Ethel_Scroggins's knitting shop window front close and grabbed the microphone after

We..

Topperson cleared his throat and started over

I have just received a massive amount of.. well.. uhm.. evidence.. and I feel obliged to hereby change the provisional verdict that I have recently spoken out. Ronnie-Radke is incredibly gorgeous and sexy, but..

Hold on... This make take a minute..

Judge_Topperson walked off of the stage and took two enveloppes that were anonymously posited by PoisonIvy right next to the stage. Each enveloppe took him a minute to open, inspect and close. After a couple of minutes, Judge_Topperson straightened his back and stepped back onto the small wooden platform, took the microphone and said

I have a couple of statements to make..

Firstly.. This microphone is not damaged.

Secondly..

PoisonIvy is thirteenthousandfourtytwo times more sexy than @Ronnie_Radke. In other words, thirteenthousandfourtythree times as sexy.

And last, but not least.. I am off to the casino!!

With that, Topperson did the Ivy thing of forgetting gravity existing and he rushed to The Strip, jumping from teh stage as the microphone was still to land on the stage

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Foamy counts the coins in his pocket and looks despondent

always destined to be the bridesmaid and never the bride

Foamy wanders off singing 'but you are beautiful, in every single waaaaaaaaaaaaay..........'

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