MobGov Enterprises Corporate Statement

As of two o’clock this afternoon, the holding company of MobGov has entered into final talks with Pew Pew Research regarding merger of all assets, corporate intelligence and intellectual property.  In the weeks following the demise of our founder Charles Barkley we have been approached by several interested parties and have taken the decision that Pew Pew Research offer the best fit from a corporate culture perspective as well as their dynamic plans for sector growth within the six cities.  

The merged parent company will be known as MG-PPR and future public releases will fall under the Pew Pew Report banner.
This merger with Pew Pew Research strengthens our position in the polling and public opinion market.  The combination of PPR’s vitality with our trusted process, sector depth and output algorithms will provide all our clients with a seamless transition between MobGov Surveys and Pew Pew Reports.  This partnership is also expected to result in greater efficiencies and significantly increase our market share from 100% to 110%.

MG-PPR will use MobGov’s existing brand recognition and leverage Pew Pew Research’s processes to provide ground breaking and hard hitting analysis of the day to day goings in Mobland.

As with all important business decisions, we will work closely with our clients, partners and employees to make the integration process as smooth as possible.  MG-PPR is now undertaking the appropriate structural changes to provide excellent value to all parties.  The integration of both companies will take place over the next few days. 

Of course, in the meantime our customers will continue to receive the same low quality, data driven drivel they have come to expect.

Sincerely,

MG-PPR

Pew Pew Report 1

I've always loved a good corporate merger and the fact that MobGov is returning from hiatus is even sweeter. Besides, I am greatly looking forward to some real quantitative evidence of my popularity among the (no name) C crewleaders. It's going to be a great morale boost around the North Side, which has gone through a bit of a depression lately given that our Godfather Elodin is on the hitlist for 150 million dollars but none of us are capable of shooting him and claiming it. 

Wow this is really good news!!

I'm looking forward to great statistics and the characteristic analysis done by the MobGov, this newspaper is excellent for long flights or train rides as we travel the land on errands for our leaders!!

this is a genuinely welcome marriage!

I wish you the best and look forward to many fine articles

MG-PPR Corporate Statement

The MG-PPR legal team at Weiner & Cox have prepared a short statement. 

With regards to comments advanced in the name of a certain Mr Cromwell, we at Weiner & Cox on behalf of Pew Pew Reports do not associate ourselves with any comments, threats or insinuations of violence against a Mr Elodin. While the name of the data gathering and analytical reports may suggest otherwise in the vernacular of the street, neither the company nor the reports have any ties to murder, attempted murder or conspiracy to instigate murder. 

This is a most welcome surprise - I had heard rumours that Pew Pew Reports had been in talks of a hostile take over for some time. But this does indeed make me a happy drunkard! I look forward to reading the next edition and hope to see some topics such as

"Who's Oiling Zebedee Spring"

&

"Does More Legs Make You More Attractive to Anonymous Hit Listers?"

I look forward to reading the next edition soon!