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| Artichokes are Profitable | Started by: Columbo on Aug 08, '20 23:37 |
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Columbo sat on the bed of his cell, elbows on his knees, waiting. There wasn’t much else to do behind bars beside wait. He had learned early on that day dreaming would make him yearn for the outside world and made the days much longer than simply allowing the minutes to click away as he remained in a thoughtless trance. Feeling the need to stretch his legs, he stood up and ran his fingers through his hair, realizing he was past due for a haircut. Walking over to the bars and grabbing a bar in each hand, he rested his forehead against a middle bar. Shaking his head, he laughed to himself, thinking about the crazy turn of events which had landed him in the slammer. He had run drugs for years and just when he thought he was getting into something a little more innocent, he’d been arrested and now rotted away awaiting the family to break him loose. His mind drifted back to the chain of events that started with a simple stroll through the farmer’s market on a Saturday, just a month ago. There was something about the Market Days that he enjoyed, strolling through the vendors, tasting fresh produce, or picking up fresh seafood for an evening meal. As he sauntered past a vendor, he noticed the two brutes standing next to a merchant’s truck. The agitated vendor was talking with a nicely dressed man that had a calm demeanor. Watching from a distance, Columbo watched the interaction for several minutes before the vendor finally reached into his pocket and pull out some cash. At first Columbo thought he was going to throw it at the nicely dressed man but watched the vendor exhibit self-control and place the money in the other’s hand. With the payment made, the two brutes and the well-dressed man stepped to the side and walked away. The vendor walked around the counter and threw down a premade sign that said “Baby Artichokes” before opening the crate on the back of the truck and exposing a large shipment of the delicacy that was beloved by the Italian American culture of New York. Seeing the product available, people flocked to the vendor. Columbo had eaten these specialty vegetables on a few rare occasions when he had been able to afford dinner at the nicer restaurants, but really had no idea there was such a demand. Demand…..His mentor had always said “Son, the key to getting rich is to find something that everyone demands, yet you can control the price.” His mind started to race as he thought of the possibilities. He was sure the well-dressed man and the two brutes were part of his extended crime family in New York, so there should be no issue using it’s influence to drive them out of the market. And with that, Columbo would have a new business. Studying the vendor for a few hours and finally seeing the inventory of Baby Artichokes dissipate along with the clientele, Columbo approached the vendor. After a little small talk and the purchase of a few of the precious commodity, Columbo approached the subject by saying “I saw you get shaken down earlier.” The vendor’s once jovial expression turned hard as he now focused on Columbo. Finally, after a few seconds, he replied “None of your business son.” Columbo continued “What would you say if I could remove their influence from your business trade forever?” Again, the vendor stared at him, trying to read something that was hidden. Finally, in a defensive tone he said, “And what’s THAT going to cost me?” Columbo sighed then said “You know everything costs something. Let me pick up your product at the docks and deliver it to you for a fee from now on. And I’ll have some support here to make sure that there is no delay in you getting the product.” With that, Columbo quoted a fee that left the vendor’s mouth agape. The vendor continued to stare and then blurted out “That’s four times what I pay for delivery now? I’m not paying that!” Columbo sighed again, maintaining a calm disposition as he responded, “How does that rate compare to the shake down you just received?” Columbo watched as the vendor ran calculations in his head and the look of shock being replaced by a look of defeat. Finally, the vendor replied “It’s considerably less. How in the hell is an honest man supposed to make a living with crooks like you and that guy around?” Columbo raised his shoulders, lifting his hands palm up, before he said “Difference is that I’m not forcing anything upon you like that guy. I’m giving you a solution. Take it or leave it. I’m actually here to help you.” The vendor let out a ppffftt, before saying “Help he says. Whatever. Ok, you have a deal.” Reaching out, he shook Columbo’s hand and provided the address for the shipping company. Columbo walked away with a smile on his face and the wheels continued to turn as he looked around the market at all the other vendors. After the initial confrontation with the small-time family that was trying to shake down the vendor, the deliveries had gone smooth and Columbo had called off his support, primarily since they were cutting into his profits. He was making as much simply driving a truck across town on a Saturday as he was pushing drugs all week long. Columbo felt he was ready to expand his business to other vendors. It was the early hours of December 21, 1935 when Columbo arrived at the market. Something seemed different this day as there were more police officers than usual along with several politicians’ present. Columbo was standing at the corner of the vendor’s stand when New York Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia walked through the crowd, surrounded by police officers. A horn sounded by one of the officers, drawing attention to the mayor as he hopped onto the back of a truck next to the vendor and began to address all those in the marketplace. After clearing his voice, the Mayor began with “My name is Mayor LaGuardia. I’m a Mayor of the people and I’ve heard your voices. I understand that we have an organized crime problem in this city that has now moved from drug smuggling to the very market we stand in today”. Columbo looked around nervously, wondering what else was going on in the market he hadn’t noticed. After a short pause, the Mayor continued “A monopoly of doubtful legality has taken control of one of our commodities and this extended corruption has placed a serious and threatening emergency on the city”. Pausing for effect again, the Mayor says, “Starting today, the Baby Artichoke will be banned from distribution in the New York City limits and possession of this controlled substance will be considered a felony offence.” Several gasps were heard across the crowd before the Mayor turned and looked directly at Columbo. The Mayor’s face went from compassion to anger as he pointed a finger directly at Columbo. “My good citizens, we have one of the representatives of the local crime family here, in our audience, standing right next to the poor vendor that he has continued to extort and physically intimidate. Officers, arrest this man and take him away!” Instantly, Columbo felt hands grab his arms and pull them behind his back. There was no use resisting as he was surrounded by the blue. The officers were not gentle as kicks and punches continued until………….. Columbo jerked his head up off the bars and was looking directly into the eyes of the vendor. The vendor spit in Columbo’s face and glared at him, waiting for a reaction. Reaching up a hand, Columbo wiped the saliva from his face and wiped it on his jumpsuit. After several long seconds of uncomfortable silence, the vendor finally said “I hope you root in there. Try and take advantage of me? My brother, the Mayor, promises to throw the book at you.” Columbo smiled as the vendor walked away. Knowing the Mayor was on the payroll with the Godfather Chairman, he returned to his bed and laid back down, content that the family would have him our shortly. |
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