A somewhat dishevelled and tired looking Zek, looking every bit his 100 plus years wanders into the street. His usual resplendent finery almost lokkingbtattered and worn. 

I am Zek... or rather we are Zek, it might even be they are Zek... honestly its getting too hard to know, you know? They don't know I know, but I do. I see them sometimes, when I look in the mirror, or am walking past a large department store mirror, they are there, trying to hide. Its laughable, I... I can see their furative stolen glances, trying to work out if I know, I pretend that I don't, but secretively I do.

These other Zek's are responsible for the destruction that occured here earlier, even though I was asleep, I know that they were about, they were jealously killing those I consider my friends and my business associates.

Nipples was not the primary target. I over heard Zek discussing with the others how he had to go. Women need nipples, but men do not. Why does Zek have nipples when he doesn't need them, why do we have to go through life with Nipples? So the decision was taken to remove him at the same time they removed their primary and secondary targets. I can hear him gloating now, so happy with himself that he is the first man without nipples... and it sickens me.

The secondary target though was JustinBieber. Oh how you were right Justin, your name was marked in a little black book, but it wasn't Jeden's, it was Zek's. They watched you peacocking through the streets, your beautiful yound body adourned with jewellry and high fashion clothing, and they were jealous. I tried to ask why they were jealous, after all we I mean I am a business man, not a musician with the voice of shiatan, my own magnifigence and radience a wonder to behold, but again I heard them talking, plotting, talking about how you were better looking, better dressed, more radiant, and they decided to bring you down from your pedistal, down into the gutter and defile your beauty... believe me, I wanted to stop them, I tried to stop them, I have your poster in my bathroom, hanging on the back of the door, so that I could stare into your eyes in the same way that some people read the newspaper... but they were too strong for me... so, so, strong.

This brings me to the real target, the reason a hole district had to fall... I had a friend, a business partner and a rival. Romulus had come to me looking a business partner for a sports betting syndicate he was looking to bring to fruition. He had the lobes for business but not the money or the contacts, thats were I came in. I was to introduce Rom to my people and bankroll the whole endeavour. It was great. However Romulus got too big for his boots, he still had no money, choosing to snort it up his nose, inject it into his veins and spend it on cheap waitresses rather than invest for the future, but he was getting seen. His presence in the streets and the business districts soon eclipsed mine, and that brought him to their attention. I could feel their hatred and loathing, their whispered venom in the darkness. I knew they plotted against him, but secretly I did not care. So, this morning whilst I slept, Zek, zEk and zeK set out at dawn and murdered them all. Nipples, the beautiful Bieber and Romulus... I can't live this lie any more, and I care not what they do to me, but the truth must be known. I can't allow KingLouis to take the blaim for these actions any longer, he is innocient, a pawn in their cunning plan, swayed by their insidious mind control powers into admitting to something he did not do. This is the real reason Tetley was unaware... for WE... ARE... ZEK!

I think it's amazing you're trying to fill the Kuku sized hole in this community. ALL HAIL FAKE KUKU!!!

​​​​​​The crowd go wild and begin chanting in unison, MORE MORE MORE.

And for the record I heard Romulus actually injected cocaine up his nose, I think one of us needs a new informant. Ya think ya can trust these guys huh?

We... I mean I do not know this Kuku of whom you speak? What is he famous for Cadence? As for Romulus, I couldn't tell you what he took, or how he took it, just that he spent more time using his own product than moving it. He once tipped a waitress $1500 he was so off his face... $1500? In this day and age... that must be at least 3 times her salary.

Romulus kept more under his orange jacket than you will ever no.

A great player of basketball

a formidable snorter of cocaine

fun to be with at parties and a very snappy dresser.

Know*

For shame Ron_Swanson, for shame.

I'm already self-flagilating.

alcohol has a lot to answer for.

Alcohol is the answer, quite often!