| May 08 - 18:44:53 |
|
| Post Reply | Post new topic | Page: 1 |
| To Be A Rogue | Started by: Sprozza on Mar 12, '08 17:06 |
|
To brand someone as a 'rogue' is to use an extremely ambiguous phrase, y'know. This isn't just because people can't spell it, though (let's face it) we've had some hilarious variants over the year - roque is currently my favourite. I can see you turn away in disgust, thinking that your once revered idol (that's me incidentally) is about to blather on about some clich old guff that no one gives a tenderised turd about, well actually, that's exactly what I'm going to do; though I'll try and bring a fresh angle so bear with me for now - ty. Back to this whole new angle I am trying to work from anyway. As all but the most dull minded among us will have noticed, to use the lexes "rogue" is to employ an extremely negative connotation. You never hear about "loveable rogues" around here, not like in the movies. In our thing, you're more likely to hear someone heckle "Loveable? Shit more like!". Granted, it's probably going to be yours truly engaging in said heckling, but that's ok, right? Right. Fucking right on I dare say. My point, and a wonderfully accurate at one I may add, is that rogues are never given 'a break', as a rule of thumb, and usually rightly so. They are branded as treacherous scum and bollockarses to boot! "But Sprozza" I hear you cry "It is usually you who instigates such mud slinging." Well this, my dear friends, can all be put down to one vital misconstruement. (this is a word now fyi) You see, when I, and others with similar opinions as myself, condemn rogues; we are condemning rogues, which are actually different from rogues. See what I mean? Of course you don't, so listen on for a mind boggling insight. Or perhaps a mind bogglingly clich insight. Which wouldn't really be an insight at all. That's just a hiccup though really. Which brings us in a natural manner back to the ambiguity issue I brought up before. Well, it doesn't at all, but we'll pretend it does for the time being. So to clear up the confusion and ambiguity regarding the term 'rogue', and to end all misconstruement once and for all, I have compiled a helpful rogue-spotters handbook, detailing the vital characteristics of each kind of 'rogue' 1. The Death-is-imminent Rogue This type of rogue is arguably the only rogue which can be justified in times of peace, though even then it'd take a whizzo lawyer like Zephyr to get said rogue off the hook in such a circumtance; or a bullet to someone's brain could have the same effect. This kind of rogue buys out of their family and sets up shop on their lonesome because their own death was hovering like a not so proverbial sword of Democles, who was a shifty bastard if I ever saw one. He/she sets up out of desperation, in a bid to lengthen their lifespan and avoid the dastardly 'Aich Kyoo'. Maybe they'll shoot at someone, maybe not. We should start calling these "DTI's" as they are surely delaying the inevitable. That was poor, I apologise, 2. The Suicidal Rogue Normally, these are the type of rogues which gives the other nice rogues a bad name. Sort of like PrinceofCheese does in regards to Crewleaders. I'm just joking. (I'm not, I hate him) These are the type of rogues at whom the pointy pointy words are directed, and that's because they start shooting at random people because they have become bored, disillusioned or they have the fabled 'OOC reasons' which often turn out to be a crock of shit on closer inspection. These are the sorts of people who will earn such charming nicknames as "moron" and "cretin" from the masses. I propose with change the official title of someone engaging in such actions. Rather than 'rogue', they should be referred to "Arse Monkey", and their actions called a "cockarama". Other suggestions, of course, are welcomed, though I do believe this terminology could catch on. 3. The Wartime Rogue Out of all varieties, (not like the cereal) these are the rogues which deserve a modicum of respect. These people set up on the orders of their boss for the infamous HQ (not to be confused with 'Aich Kyoo') boost, or after their leader's demise for the housing of the homeless. Either way, they're honouring their oath to the family and dedicating their life; sacrificing sangue for the continued existence of famiglia. Utterly poles apart, in my opinion, from The Suicidal Rogue (see above). Again, I suggest we drop the title of 'rogue' for this one, perhaps refer to it as doing one's duty, thought this euphemism may be a little too long winded, and a little too open for misintepretation, e.g. Person A: Oh look, Sprozza is doing his duty. Person B: Tell him to use a kleenex for fuck's sake. 4. The What-the-fuck-you-doin'-over-here? Rogue Pronounced in a thick Brooklyn accent, the purpose of this rogue is frankly unfathomable. Setting up neither to house the sponsorless hordes nor shoot at those in power, at a glance it would seem they are just there for the nice suit. But no. In reality, this type of rogue aims to instigate a cunning ploy to bring down the system from the inside, either that or the most single most pointless pseudo-protest in existence. I'm not really sure which. Regardless of that, the concept, as far as I can guess, is that this particular rogue is unhappy with the current leadership, yet not wanting to sink to their level, they shall set up without shooting in an outcry to be heard across the lands, or not. Logical, no? Some of you may struggle to understand this, so to offer a handy parallel, it is akin to declaring "I shall bring down capitalism by erm, not buying anything! And then I'll probably die or something." That's the long on short of it really Essentially, a woeful concept and a godsend that we don't see to many of these. I should really claim that these rogues are 'as useless as tits on a bull', but really, if on the off chance you do have a spare pair of tits lying about, a bull is as good a place as any to put them; so we'll throw that inadequate simile out, but the point it tries to convey will still be there. That of uselessness. In summary, if you are going to go rogue, you best off make sure it's during a war really or you'll just get beaten with the easy target stick. Or something. Incidentally, anyone who wishes to add their own categories may feel free to do so, because I am quite magnanimous like that. |
|
| Report Post | Tip |
|
Wonderful exposes Mr S. I would like to add one more definition to your categories. This would be: 5. The-Red-Faced-Rouge- This phenomena occurs in our communities when the less educated ones among us develop a illusion of grandeur that leads them to believe that they can "spil and rite gut" and that these character attributes make them worthy of being authorized to set up a family. Alas, when they are faced with the reality that they are considered pond scum and less worthy of a family than, for example, Revan, they get all red faced and go "Rouge". Note: Many times we will find the ""Arse-Monkey" and the "Red-Faced" conditions develop simultaneously in the same person. |
|
| Reply by: Rambo at Mar 12, '08 17:13 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
|
A delicious and juicy insight there Rambo, and something I'm fairly "rouge" at having left out at that. I wouldn't call it a phenomena though; sadly, it is occurring with alarming frequency I feel. |
|
| Reply by: Sprozza at Mar 12, '08 17:16 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
| What about the Rouge Rogue? The ones who are smart enough to find the button to buy a HQ, but stupid enough to misspell Rogue? | |
| Reply by: Finlandia at Mar 12, '08 17:32 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
| Rambo gently takes his fellow cheese monger and points to the posters above his | |
| Reply by: Rambo at Mar 12, '08 17:38 | |
| Report Post | Tip |
| Post Reply | View All Threads | Page: 1 |
How much do you want to tip for this post?
Minimum $20,000
Minimum $20,000
