"Kaya, Kaya! Please, open up! There's been a fire!" Kaya roused from her sleep groggily and took a few seconds to process what she heard before bounding out of bed and to the door. Behind it, she found Barbara_Braganza, eyes wider than ever and hands in the air. "Come with me, it's outside. The fire's gone but..." Barbara averted her gaze sadly before taking Kaya's wrist and dragging her along the vast halls of the HQ. Kaya wished Barbara just had too much to drink or ate another special mushroom again, but she could already smell the smoke from inside the house... this was no hallucination -- this was reality and a feeling of dread filled her as she realized what it could be.

As they opened the heavy double doors of their headquarters, the first thing she noticed was the thick smoke in the air. It took her eyes a while to adjust but when they did, she saw the damage and almost had her legs give out from underneath her. Her most prized UwU mural painted at the back of their shed was gone and all that's left was rubble. She let out a bloodcurdling scream which led to her crewmates filing out of the headquarters in their pajamas, rubbing their eyes to see what was wrong. Even Hosico got off her butt and crawled outside as she purred in annoyance. Once everyone was gathered, an eerie silence filled the air as Kaya looked at them one by one and realized one person was missing... the only person who hated UwU so much to do this: Takkar.

-- A YEAR EARLIER --

"I will not say uwu when my leader tells me to do so. Not even like once or twice a month, it's a big deal. And most of all, I will serve the Coven until the day I die. Should I betray it, may I be buried beneath the earth where I let my blood seep." Takkar said with a smug smile as his bloody palm made a mess on the floor. Across him, Kaya looked at him unimpressed and impatiently. It will take forever for him to say the magic word... so she used a trick she learned from JohnnyChrist and looked him straight in the eye as she dropped her voice low.

"You will say UwU. You will not resist. You will say UwU. You will not resist." She kept repeating this until Takkar's gaze went blank and she knew she was under her spell. By no means was she an actual witch, but hypnosis was always a fun thing to do.

Ever since then, Takkar had kept insisting she was a crazy witch that cast a spell on him that forced him to say UwU. He wasn't too far off, but Kaya sued him for slander anyway. More importantly, since then, he'd been speaking in hushed tones with other UwU non-believers Avocato and humuhumunukunukuapua.... she knew they were plotting something, but she never would’ve guessed it would be this. No… this is a blatant act of defiance, and she was sure this wasn’t going to be the last one.

As the days flew by, Takkar started pulling more and more outrageous and blasphemous stunts against UwU until Kaya can no longer turn a blind cheek. She called for a ceasefire and called Takkar to her office. “Alright, Takkar. You got my attention. You’ve organized yourself well and pulled off your little pranks flawlessly. How about we form an alliance?” Kaya took a deep breath before speaking again. “I was hoping you can use your, err, talents for good instead of just slandering the good UwU name. How about you set up your hunting operation under me and we can work together instead of against one another? Hunt other uwu witches — less competition for me and less UwU for you?”

Every time Takkar passed by the shed outside HQ, he was reminded of that fateful night, the night where he spoke a word he would never speak again. Never! The hairs on the back of his head stood up when he saw the weird symbols painted on the large wall. Enough was enough. One night, when the rest of the crew was fast asleep, he slipped outside with a can full of gas. Dousing the mural with gasoline, he set the shed on fire and watched with pride as the whole structure burned to the ground. This was the beginning of his glorious rebellion. Evil shall not prevail as long as he lived.

*****

"What is it now?" Takkar groaned as he was called into Kaya's office early in the morning. "Don't tell me you are still mad about the holy water incident. How was I to know that Hosico was choking on a fur ball. To me she seemed possessed," Takk shrugged and waited for the curses to fly. But what she said next surprised and shocked him.

"Set up under you..... to fight evil?" he asked incredulously and then his face broke into a smile. "Yes ! I will accept that proposal." Takkar planted his palms on her desk and stared into her eyes. "I would like to ask one favor before I am on my way. I would like Karizma to join me if that is alright with you?" Seeing Kaya nod to his request he thanked her and left her office.

Before leaving the Coven he went up to Avocato's room and conveyed the news to him."I know you want to join me my friend. But alas that is not possible," Takkar sighed. "I have an important task for you. Stay close to Kaya and keep an eye on her. The moment she uses her witchcraft to do harm, you let me know. Understood?" he shook Avocato's hand and nodded at him before disappearing out the doors.

Takkar walked out of the HQ with renewed vigor. He had a new purpose in life. There was an old mansion on the outskirts of Bella Vista that could serve as his new headquarters. The headquarters of ...... The Inquisition.

As Ze_Fishy returned from depositing some 'unwanted stuff' in the ocean floor, quickly swimming through his tank to get rid of the gasoline smell he quickly slipped in to the row of half sleepy crew mates looking at the still smoldering embers of the barn. He secretly smiled, that had been a great plan by Takkar and he was proud for the -albeit very little part- he played in the grand gesture of XXX-defiance.

He hoped Kaya would never find out, but as much as he knew witches and kitties hated water he was sure his secret was safe.

The day after he heard the news about Takkar being let go from the coven, he wondered how that brave man broke the curse and regained his freedom. Fishy sighed, he would never leave this place, being locked up in the basement in some weird ass psychological treatment facility had been an experience worthy of PTSD, but he knew in her heart Kaya was a big ol softy.

As he waved to Takkar with his fin, he turned around and returned to his garage to spend another day driving like the she-devil kaya was hot on his tail

Barb didn’t understand it. Really, any of it. What was the point of a meaningless baby noise? She didn’t know, and she didn’t really care. What she DID know is that it made their Don happy. And that - such a small, small thing in comparison to everything she provided for the crew - made it worth it. Even if it did seem silly, it was such a tiny thing... such an insignificant and ineffectual thing. It made *literally* NO difference, aside from the joy that it brought Kaya and the ironic, indulgent, comedic accidental camaraderie that THAT brought to their crew. 

Knowing that, that someone would so blatantly go out of their way to intentionally disrespect and hurt Kaya by burning her most favorite mural just seemed fucking pointless and detestably petty. GLARING at Takkar and Humu (because loyal crew members don’t wave to petty turncoats), she turned toward the broadside of the HQ building, pulling a random pencil from somewhere in her messy curls - which always seemed like some sort of magickal pocket realm, bag of holding, or room of requirement - and after sending JohnnyChrist to fetch her paints, began sketching out a new, BIGGER, better and even more elaborate uWu mural to console her wailing Leader. 

In the corner, in tiiiiiny penciled letters she wrote ‘fuck the inquWusition’. Obviously, she’d paint over it in the final draft. But in the moment it felt cathartic and - she hoped - lessened the blow with a little codemic relief... hopefully... maybe.