Finding the perfect soil for a garden was one of the most difficult things that one could do and typically this information needs to be passed down from generation to generation with much learning in the process. The lands that are best suited for this are safeguarded and protected by those with much power, as food is a very important commodity and gardening is one of the ways into the soul of this such practice; so when Azathoth decided to start a community garden within Detroit to make the civilians more receptive to the new big bads in town there was a lot of positive energy surrounding it.

"Sir, we've found the perfect spot for the garden but there's a slight hitch."

"What is it?"

"Well the soil is great, and it rains there a lot. Heck, there's also plenty of sun in the area..."

"So what's the problem, man? Out with it."

"It's technically already a junkyard."

While the messenger braced for some sort of anger to come from his boss-- there was none, and in fact it seemed as though Azathoth perked up when he heard the news. What was better than just having a garden? Having a garden and being able to own a junkyard, which was one of his dreams ever since waking up on this planet.

Truth be told, the only reason he joined the mafia was because he had heard they own the monopoly on garbage disposal. Making the call up to the 'yard itself, it was quickly and promptly purchased for ten thousand dollars over its worth which at the time would be considered a bit of an overspend, but he knew what he wanted and had the income to get it.

After only two weeks of renovations the place was now not only a spot for all of your useless junk and items that you wanted to be rid of, but also a lovely garden filled with plants and herbs that anyone in the area was free to use. His outreach would grow thanks to this move and some say was how he was able to secure most of 12th Street for himself.

Junkyard & Garden - Now Open

Come water some basil and then throw away your old used bike! Both free of charge! If you'd like a meeting with Azathoth he will most likely be in his office during work hours.

Welcome! Enjoy your stay.

the bushy tailed marauder hops into the garden centre and asks to see the manager.

Do you sell those bird feeders that are squirrel proof?

Cos i'd like to buy the lot and burn then!

Whilst we are talking about pest control, have you had any issues here yet with badgers?

My father used to frequent this city, for a short time at least, and there was always talk of marauding badgers.  I find that a well placed cage trap works wonders, either that or a catapult snare.  This will also help with cats, both domestic and strays.  Nothing worse than a bastard neighbors cat coming and crapping in your garden because they are to lazy to train it to use a litter tray.

Foamy nods in agreement at the clown

Couldn't agree more, there's tales of one with tourettes but it's as yet unsubstantiated.

I've heard badgers make a decent draught excluder though so not all bad.

Azathoth , You may have had the chance to visit the Detroit Street Circus and noticed a small chap, goes by the name of kes . I am enquiring if there is any garden gnome positions available to him in your new garden.

No need to contact me directly, I spoke to kes earlier. He is standing to attention by his playmobile phone waiting for your call.

Adieu! 

Azathoth

To continue FailClown's theme, this kes chap comes resplendent with his own fishing rod.  well, It's a twiglet but but we don't like to mention it.

I think he'd be a solid addition to your garden

Muddle had heard through the grape vine that her old pal Azathoth finally got his very own junk yard. She instantly hopped on a flight to see with her very own eyes. As she approaches she sees a lot of greenery. She pauses for thought.... "Hmmmm... this doesn't very much look like a junk yard. Its more like a garden centre." She thought to herself as she swiftly moves around. She looks hard for something. Something a garden centre should have this time of year... 

A young looking man approaches her.  "Can I help you? Do you have anything to dispose of?" Muddle glares at him... "Uhhh... no I do not. Now where are your Christmas trees?" The lad looks at Muddle questionably. "I am sorry, you must be mistaken, we don't sell Christmas trees. We dispose of your waste or you can take a relaxing seat in the garden. Muddle politely nodded and asked to speak with Azathoth. The man immediately ran off in search of her friend. While he was gone Muddle took it upon herself to move a few things around and took a watering can, filled it up and watered the flowers. "NOT A GARDEN CENTRE... BUT IT HAS FLOWERS.... " Muddle went over in her head and possibly out loud. 

His new establishment hadn't been open for longer than a couple of days when the number of new faces poured in to sell their scrap and pick a few flowers. Foamy and FailClown were enjoying the many amenities that were on offer and asking many questionable questions to the workers, while Muddle seemed to be arguing with someone over the purchase of a tree which clearly would not be sold in any sort of garden whatsoever under the law of trees set forth in 1908 which state gardens are for herbs and flowers and not for trees or tree-related items; however he couldn't expect a random person to know so much about gardening laws and so walked over to handle it himself.

"Hello there, Miss. What exactly are you looking for today?"

While he waited for her to answer, he pulled a small sprig of cardamom from out of his pocket.

Foamy feels a little short changed by the answer and pushes on

Azathoth......if that really IS your name, I must insist you give us an answer about Kes joining your enterprise, he's sooooooooo cute.

also, where did you say the bird feeders were?

The clown is admiring the geranium display when he over hears the squirrel inquiring about bird feeders. He chuckles to himself remembering when he saw the same squirrel begging to be freed after being found hanging by his ball sack, upside down, from a very squirrel unfriendly wire framed aptly named nut feeder.

“Hey Foamy” - he shouts over. “I’d have thought you’d have had enough of bird feeders. How’s the nuts?”

”Or lack of them” he mutters under his breath

Foamy was about to fire back a retort so cutting, so demeaning, a complete sockdollager when he noticed the Clown smelling slightly of.....well, death.

I was going to say 'fuck off you red nosed cunt' but now i feel badl.

come back soon falure clown.

It was time for Azathoth to finally return to his business which had flourished in the past weeks without him, the Junkyard and Gardening business had seen a huge boon since the winter months were slowly shedding away to make light for the spring and many people had arrived to start with the creation of new life for the new year while also throwing away their unwanted refrigerators which most other places weren't willing to take.

Ahh, it smells like fresh flowers and the decay of old garbage. I've missed this.

While he looked around his enterprise he noticed the bloom of new roses were slowly poking through one of the old cars that had been parked and left behind years ago. It was a pretty sight to behold, but also one that was quickly snapped away when multiple people walked up to the man at once demanding to know where he had been.

Don't worry about what I've been up to. I am back now, and the Junkyard & Garden business will flow freely once more, if anyone needs to buy or plant anything they know exactly where to come. Spread the word!

His men and women all nodded and went off to do their duty of making sure the place was sprung with new life. While Azathoth took a seat on his old lawn chair and waited to see what new adventure would unfold for him here, there would surely be something to do now that he was back where it all began.