Deep in the hustling heart of Bricktown, well away from the car factory workers and poor areas sits what is colloquially known as Little Canadia.  On the corner of Maple Leaf and Hockey Stick (St Antoine and Larned Street for people from below the border) sits Tom Hostons, a quiet coffee house bedecked in red and white from the tables and chairs to the uniforms of the staff.  Coincidentally, Indifference has situated his HQ extremely close by.

The whiff of freshly brewed Canadian coffee fills the shop; not the tiny, abrasive Italian coffees or the sweet one-size-fits-all-as-long-as-that-size-can-only-be-drunk-with-two-hands American coffee but the scent of beans, grown elsewhere but with their self-esteem lovingly coddled in a fine Canadian way, ground into…errr….grounds (literally pulverised by hand) by former lumberjacks turned barristas.

This is where all the Canadian missionaries in Detroit and all around converge looking for that little cup of home in amongst the surliness of the South.  Not the South as in Alabama but anywhere below the land of maple syrup.  The likes of Tony_Alacchi and wannabe Canadians like Foamy can be found around

The menu is simple.  Not simple as in limited but simple as in not too fussy and perfectly functional, the stark contrast to the slew of wannabe chain shops offering syrups, milk variations, pastries that have been folded slightly differently and muffins filled with anything that comes to the baker’s hand in a hurry.

Welcome to Tom Hostons – The finest Canadian Coffee Shop In All of Little Canadia

Coffee

• Original Blend
• Dark Roast
• Latte
• Flat White
• Cappuccino

Teas

• Freshly Brewed English Canadian Breakfast Tea
• Speciality Tea

Hot Chocolate

Tom Shakes

• Chocolate
• Vanilla
• Strawberry

Baked Goods

• Maple Syrup Pancakes
• Bacon & Maple Syrup Pancakes
• Chocolate & Maple Syrup Donut
• Strawberry & Maple Syrup Donut
• Maple Syrup Donut
• Tombits

Servers greet new customers with a smile and a “Lovely day to be oot and aboot, eh.”

Lance had pedalled up and down the streets of Detroit for hours.  Steaks to RonSwanson, drugs to Cinnamon and the latest copy of Lumberjills to Foamy.  Tammy had decided to give herself the morning off to catch up with her start of day routine; layers of make-up, the sweet scent of vanilla perfume.  If it wasn’t for the fact she smelled of custard, Lance was pretty sure he’d have asked her to get a three person tandem so she could be a bit further away.  He would remove the middle seat to avoid use of that. 

He managed to find himself in Little Canadia and stopped his bike to check out the latest coffee shop that had just sprung up.  IT wasn’t unheard of him to be called upon to open something.  He was much like a visiting dignitary so it was reasonable for him to be in the coffee shop first.  And anyway, he needed a bit of a pitstop.

He walked in to the fresh, clean Tom Hostons and went to the counter.  The young girl at the counter greeted him with a smile

“Lovely day to be oot and aboot, eh.”

“It sure is, a bit chilly in the shade.

“No doot, no doot.  What can I get you?”

Lance glanced at the menu.

“Just a dark roast and some maple syrup pancakes please.”

Lance sat down at an empty table and waited for his coffee and snack.

Foamy wanders in to the new enterprise in DT, a new enterprise that hadn't yet received the approval of the BDM.

Lance, you may have a physical ailment which allows you certain exemptions, however, city rules are city rules.

Now, i'm sure we can come to some arrangement?

Foamy holds out his hand

Lance looked at Foamy's hand.

"Firstly.  What rules?  BDM sounds like some kinky squirrel sex thing."

Lance took a sip of his dark roast and a bit of a pancake.

"Secondly, I have merely reported the presence of Tom Horton's.  I am neither the franchisee, owner or an employee of Tom Horton's.  Simply a customer."

Lance looked at the city rules.

"Does anyone actually read them?  Evidently I don't.  Speak to Tom Hoston himself.  Not Tom Horton, I have no idea who that is.  Tom Hoston will be the man who decides where his coffee shops go."

Lance had his head down, pedaling furiously back from city hall.  His dressing down from Squirrel Nutkin in the business planning office had chastened him.  Now to work off his feeling of injustice,  he sped along as if the devil was after him or he was chasing down some loudmouth cyclist that was talking about raising objections to Lance's pick-me-up business.  If everyone took a little pick me up, the races would be done quicker and everyone could get home earlier.  Instead, some booooring people objected to a little va va voom and Lance was getting tarred with that too.

He screeched to a halt outside Tom Hostons and delivered an envelope to the manager.

"I'm from Tammy's custard delivery enterprise.  Obviously this isn't custard related, I'm not even sure you get custard in Canada."

The manager looked inside the envelope.

I, Foamy, the business district manager do hereby declare that Tom Hostons Coffee Shop is of sufficiently good quality to make it onto my list of approved businesses. 

By the power vested in me, and with the filing of appropriate paperwork, I declare this coffee shop open.

"He says to put that up in a safe place with it being a good business."

When Tony heard about a Canadian themed coffee shop opening in Detroit, he had no choice but to go. Walking into the shop his eye lit up. He felt the politeness roaming around the room. Slangs which Tony would recognize, this place was a real ''Beauty'' a Canadian slang short for beautiful but more in a context of something amazing. Since the weather was much colder in Detroit compared to Philadelphia Tony had not forgotten his toque to keep him nice and warm, however nothing could do the job as well as a nice double-double.

What you sayin'? I'll have a double-double, a everything bagel and not to forget a box of Tombits™ eh!

Tony grabbed his stuff and headed back towards lance were the two started talking about hockey, lacrosse, the french people of quebec and of course the Canadian Rockies.

Foamy drops by Tom Hostons and orders a cup of Joe...........why is that a thing?

Lance, it's a pleasure to have you here, i'm sure your franchise will go from strenght to strength.

please tell me there's no custard though, i've been overdoing it.

Pushing past Foamy she rolls her eyes, "Sure, but if you keep it up when you finally keel over we'll get more than a quarter for your pelt." she told him, a bit grumpy after he had kept her up all night drinking and screaming, "LOOK AT IT AND NAME IT!" and god did she regret teaqching him that song by the three young teenage brothers... or were they sisters? No one really knew. "Coffee." She said to Lance, putting some money on the counter, "All the coffee."

Foamy was about to leave when he heard @Jens accusations

'well if you'd just bloody well named it you wouldn't have been ujp all night, I mean, how hard can it be?

I'll take a Hazlenut latte please my good man'

“No custard Foamy.  I think it’s more of a maple syrup type place.  Given you work for a Canadian, I’m sure you’re more than used to it!”

Lance sat and stared at his coffee. It was different from the stuff that Tammy had him deliver but given he didn’t have to cycle around Detroit before having this one he could sit, stir, sip and savour.  The 4S philosophy.  Tammy and Papua would throw in another S – steroid because they would just focus on the one thing people thought they knew.

When Jen put the money on the counter and asked him for all the coffee it took him by surprise.  He had merely help get the enterprise off the ground, dealing with city hall and all that sort of thing.  He didn’t work here.

“Just get it from the counter Jen.  They’ll sort you out.  I am merely here, enjoying my break from the deliveries.”

As Tammy stepped in, she was surprised by the fact that Jen thought Lance worked at Tom Hostons Canadian Coffee Shop.

Does it look like he either owns the shop or is wearing a striped apron? she thought. But, polite as she was, she kept her mouth shut and walked up to the counter, laying down a piece of paper on it.

Indifference taught me that if you want to earn some money somewhere, you should write down your strengths on a paper and hand them at that very place, directed at the owner.

Tammy looked around and asked

Is either Tom Hoston or Tom Hostons here? I have this letter for him..

Dear Miss or Mister Tom Hoston or Hostons,

if you happen to be looking for a mediocre waitress, as to not get other customers upset by Jen when she commands them to get coffee, I would be happy to work here for you. I am reasonably decent at making custard, slightly good at delivering coffee to, almost always, the right person and I can, hypothetically, if not distracted, make an excellent clumpy custard. I will be available all the time when I am not in other places and the pay-check does not have to be extreme.

Hoping to hear from you,

Yours,
Tammy

Foamy nodded in relief at Lance who explains that there was indeed, no custard, it was going straight to his hips

'Tammy, can i get a coffee to go, and by any chance do you have some flan back there?  I've got a hankering'

Foamy reads the woodland gazette as he waits.