It had been some time since NathanExplosion had come to the streets. He was growing rather old and found it hard to get out of his favorite steel chair. Most days he sat in his Bricktown office writing lyrics or strumming a guitar, occasionally doing mafia related things as they arose. He needed to get back out there and live life again, he was becoming an old man and old men are totally NOT metal AF. 

Through various conversations with his dear friend Kaya it was found that they were both experiencing similar situations and feelings. They needed a way to motivate themselves to work like they did when they were young whipper-snappers making their bones in Chicago. A plan was suggested by Kaya and subsequently stolen and expanded upon for his own personal agenda by NathanExplosion. He decided to open up the challenge to the nation in an effort to promote activity in the elderly and friendly competition.

"Hear ye hear ye, come one come all! Kaya, the Guwudmother of Bella Vista has challenged me to a RACE! The first one to 65 FBN units shall be the victor!

We are currently evenly matched at 62 units GF% 151, so now is the perfect time to race. The race shall begin immediately and I invite anyone else across the nation who is not ABOVE 151 GF% to join in (sorry JackMezzo, you fucking maniac).

The winner of this great race shall receive:

Big bragging rights

An admission of inferiority on the suit of each losing contestant

10,000,000,000 Schrute bucks

The pride and adoration of their city and the masses at large

An UWU or something

Various other things I think up or people suggest

If you would like to compete in the race, simply speak now and let us know. All you need do is provide proof you are not over GF% 151. Simply state as such when you enter: (GF% 151 or whatever your % is.) Surely no one would lie, right?

There is only one restriction: Attacking the HQs of other leaders and repaying the damage is considered cheating and is therefore prohibited and will result in your disqualification and public shaming.

I will give regular updates on my own progress, and urge any other contestants to do the same.

Good luck to you all, and especially to Kaya, you're gonna need it!

Sad jail busting noise.

MsRain walked over to the Dethklok HQs found NathanExplosion and @ Cinnamon sitting in the lounge sharing a blunt.  When Cinnamon saw her walk in he motioned for her to come have a seat.  She took off her coat and hat laid it on the chair and sat down next to them.  Cinnamon passed her the blunt.  She knew what happened the last time so she took the blunt and easily took two drags and passed it back.  As she slowly blew out the smoke she turned to @ NathanExplosion.

You know I have a lot of love and respect for you Bossman and have a lot of confidence in you. But of all people Kaya?

I don’t know.  I just recently met her but have heard a lot about her.  From what I heard you are going to have your hands full.  Not saying you can’t win but you got a challenge on your hands for sure.

NathanExplosion took the blunt from Cinnamon and took a long drag, blew out the smoke and said “piece of cake. “

Well I wish the both of you good luck she told him. .  Under her breath she said “Oh Boy”

Driving to the nearest casino with a deadpan look in her eye, it seems that Kaya's days of adventure and mischief were now far behind her. Memories of elaborate 8-man art gallery heists, spending ungodly hours at the gun range, and flying from city to city to talk shit about Takkar in various business establishments were now just that -- memories. These days, the only thrill that she got -- and that her heart could handle -- is throwing the dice in the local Philly casino along with her fellow degenerate crew members. Sadly, even that was getting boring, as big losses didn't make her feel alive quite like they used to. Overall, aside from croaking out the occasional uwu, Kaya was almost unrecognizable -- she was merely a shell of the happy spammer she once was.

One thing that didn't change about her though was her penchant for bothering and annoying NathanExplosion. The pair would still occasionally go gyro kayaking on peaceful Sunday afternoons where they would just discuss the prospect of going into the void forever. On some random occasions, Nathan would twerk and Kaya will have to vomit off the side of her kayak. Fun times. Anyway, she may have challenged him to a race during one of these afternoons, but with her age came the deterioration of her memory so over time, she forgot she issued the challenge in the first place.

Imagine her surprise when Nathan's voice crackled over the casino's radio, causing her to look up and lose a dice bet for the 13th time in a row. "What did he say? We're singing Amazing Grace? I never took him for the religious, praise-be-to-God type but alright..." She was just about to break into song when she fixed her hearing aide and realized what he was actually saying. "Oh no... now I actually have to get off my ass and do something..." She thought back to the time when she busted out more than 800 prisoners within six hours and felt some of her youthful zest come back little by little. This was going to be easy as pie.

Hijacking his broadcast, she added a short note to his declaration of war. "Yes yes everyone's welcome to join, but how about we up the stakes and the losers have to get a tattoo of the winner's choice (read: write something on their profile)? Something like I am a slow loser and Kaya is superior in all ways. Suwuperior, if you must. And I am no longer metal, I am paper at most. How does that sound?"

After getting off-air, she instructed her personal assistant to get her trusty pen and renew her contacts at the local jail. She had some writing and jailbreaking to do.

kaya I accept your tattoo terms. I expect yours won't be too embarrassing.

Feb 07, 04:37:28 You've been given the nod to purchase up to 63 units of drugs.

The underdog takes the lead! 

Moving at a glacial pace as all old ladies do, Kaya narrowed her eyes at NathanExplosion's announcement and proceeded to take her walking cane and shuffle towards the nearest jail.

Four hours and a lot of jailbroken people later, she hands Nathan a note before going back to her room to take a fat nap. That's enough work for today. The note read:

"Dear loser,

PS. You're a nerd"

Clad in all black -- not only to signify her mourning but also she appears as metal as possible -- Kaya got on a soapbox for the first time in her life and addressed the crowd that of course was very invested in the race of the century. "Dear friends, we've lost a great man in NathanExplosion this week. Before anything else is said, I would like to put a rest to the rumors being peddled by some gossipmongers and shit-stirrers." Kaya spotted Takkar in the crowd and looked at him with narrowed eyes before continuing.

"To be clear, I did not personally ask Nathan to be killed so I can save face in case I lost our race. (I'm a poet and I don't even know it!) In fact, I am already GF 570% and can carry 85 units of drugs. Yes, I did gain 400+ percent within two days simply because I am that amazing. Do not question it. Anyway, I am just choosing not to publicly show this with respect to my dear friend's passing. The last thing I want people to remember him by is being a loser -- which is true, but he had other qualities worth celebrating too."

"Nathan was a good man who ran an amazing city, he was a formidable opponent in this race, and more importantly, he could shake his ass like it was nobody's business. Above all though, I would like to remember him as a smart guy who really knew his trivia. Although I first met him when he thought the septum linguae was in Malaysia, I soon realized he wasn't a dummy and was actually quite fun to play with during trivia nights. I'm glad that his son Goku decided to join up with me -- either permanently or temporarily -- so I can tell him stories about how wonderful his father was and also so I can take him in as my newest trivia apprentice like Nathan was during our youth." 

Kaya pats Goku's head before she went on for three more hours trying to make her speech 666 words long. By the end of it, half the crowd had left and the other half was nearly asleep, but at least she got her message across -- that NathanExplosion was a great friend and even though he technically lost their silly race since she definitely had 570% and definitely NOT 163% right now, he was and will always be a winner in everyone's eyes.