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Wade was deep in thought

"Memories of ROROG you say??..There's many to choose from,but the one that sticks in my head is the time we were supposed to fly over to England to watch the Cricket.Apparently Rorog had a 'tip' on the result of the game and i knew better than to ignore something of that ilk.So there i was standing outside Ghost's pad,tickets in hand,when this Hooker ran out the place Butt-Naked with her Hairy Goober on display.As i watched her disapear around the corner shouting and screaming my attention was switched back to Ghost's appartment.I could hear him shouting inside.

Concerned for my friend,i entered the house,all thoughts of the escaping Man Eater left at the door.to say Rorog looked a little worse for wear was an under statement.He looked worse than Otto the bus driver after a three day binge on horse tranquilizers.His rambling's were incohorent,the words Zombie and Monster were the only words i could make sense of.Pulling him out of the Hot Tub i struggled to lay him comfortably on the Moth bitten Couch in the corner of the room.He eventually calmed down but i was still loathe to leave him alone.Besides i could kinda relate,when it came to drug binges and less than reputable women i was hardly an Innocent.Indeed there was a time i had such a thing down to a fine Art.

With Rorog finally asleep on the couch i broke open the bag of weed i had purchased from a friend in N.o.The weed was rather Stalkee but i knew it would get the job done.Looking at the plane tickets in my hand i realized we had missed our flight,and so began to search the pad in search of something to do.Finding nothing but a Pirate copy of 'Way Down East' the highest grossing film of the 1920's,I stuck the film on and settled in an arm chair.Having watched it i failed to see what all the fuss was about,i'd much rather have won big on the cricket!!

Ah, the memories, I thought I would share with you a snippet of RoRoG's younger life, before he turned to a life of crime.

Whilst many believe RoRoG to be a working class boy made good from the old town, who came to America with no more then a moth in his pocket, I actually have information which says the contrary.  You see, whilst I was at Eton College, London, I played for the Rugby team. I was a fat, furry, small lad, slow like a zombie, so played hooker. The star of that team was a went by the name of Herbert von Bismarck, son of German politician Otto Christian Archibald von Bismarck. Having seen him naked numerous times, I can confirm that even at as a teenager, he was a monster of a young man, and he was the superstar of Eton. Playing fly-half for the rugby team, he also opened the batting and captained the cricket side. The only German to ever do so.

Whilst he entered Eton an innocent, good looking, teen, he left in a shroud of mystery. Rumours still go around the old school halls now as to why he left? Some say he was kidnapped by pirates on a family sailing trip, with his father refusing to pay the ransom. Another rumour is his father pulled him out after a sordid affair with his tutor, the maneater Mrs Stalkee. But I know the truth.

After his father cut his funding, he started committing petty crimes to fund his lust for buying luxury art work and antiques. After being caught attempting to steal an antique couch from the headmasters office, Herbert, or Hottub as he was known then, was about to removed from the University. But overnight, at 17 years old, he fled. Rumours were he went to Italy.


Upon arriving to New Orleans, I picked up a newspaper and read about the Godfather, a gentleman call RoRoG. I knew I recognised him. His distinct firm butt, the glint in his eyes. It had to be Herbert von Bismarck.

There was this one night when RoRoG and I were just sitting on my couch watching "Hottub Time Machine". He looked over at me and said "You my friend are a Goober. You know that hooker you bought for me the other night?" Barely able to utter anything he continued on. "Well when she came over she was dressed as a Pirate, and the whole time we were naked she talked about how she had to feed her pet monster zombie by putting a cricket or moth in its butt. And now I feel like a Stalkee, I was out to get some art for my apartment and she started yelling 'Otto, Otto!' I don't know why she thought my name Otto, anyway, dude, middle of the store she dropped trou and showed me her fury maneater again. Security came over and tried to kick us both out and once I was able to plead my case they agreed that I was innocent and let me continue shopping." Putting his arm around me in a half man hug he says "I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough for that awesome birthday present you got me. Even though it was early it was well worth it!"

This happened a lot of time ago so some details might be incorrect and forgive me about that in advance.

I remember it was Monday and the weather was pretty bad. It was raining for four days straight. I was to meet some guys in a house to watch a game of cricket but something happened to me that morning and I couldn't make it. So the next day I met my friend Otto "the stalkee" to talk about business.

I recall when I saw him, his face was pale as he had seen a ghost and he was eating a goober. I asked if he's ok and told him how sorry I was that I didn't make it for the game. He looked at me, remained silent for a good minute and he yelled "MAN IT WAS CRAZY LAST NIGHT!!".

I asked him what happened and he starts recounting the facts of the previous night.

So we all gathered at RoRoG's house for the game. So I was sitting on the brown couch. You know the one that's on the TV’s left side. I have brought with me a couple of hookers. You know for something to do on the break. Real man-eaters man, I tell you. Anyway, when the game ended I asked RoRoG to use the hottub with the girls and he could join if he wanted. So the four of us were heading outside, naked, when we noticed a flock of moths flying towards us.

These were not regular moths man. They were huge and all furry and stuff. I tell you man, they were frightening. Anyway as you understand we headed back inside cause I don't want no moths on my butt man, if you know what I mean. So I went in a room with my girl and RoRoG stayed in the living room with his company. Not more than five minutes later I heard screaming coming from inside the house and a girl yelling "I'm innocent, I'm innocent".

To tell you the truth I didn't pay too much attention at first cause I thought it was one of his pirate role plays, if you know what I mean. But the yells kept coming man so I rushed out the room to check on them. What I saw was terrifying man. One of those moths was the size of two men and it was trying to get inside the house. A fucking monster man! I seriously couldn't move my feet man. I stood there like a fucking statue incapable of doing anything.

Thank god RoRoG took care of the whole thing. He starts punching the beast until it was dazed. He grabbed that art sword thing he had and start swinging it towards the beast. He stabbed it again and again man till it was so weak that couldn't move a leg. He stood in front of it, raised his sword and cut its head with a single swing man. Then I passed out so I dunno what happened but when I woke up the two girls I brought with me were also dead and RoRoG said they turned to zombies later in the night so he had to take care of them.

"Ah,the Memories"

Hogan appears out from the dressing room handing Egwene one of his fan favorite T-Shirts. He stands at the little podium and begins to speak to the gathered about his brief memory with Godfather RoRoG.

Well you know something Egwene i will adress this to you as the Godfather of New Orleans already knows the story of how he saved my life dude! Being filled with the amount of Humility he has he probably has never shared this with anyone but i shall do my best to share this story with you and all those gathered around sister!

The hulkster looked down on a paper and saw all the words held out on a page that he was to have in his speech. He had no idea why Pirate Hooker was in there but he would make sure it would work.

"You are a smelly PIRATE HOOKER why dont you go back to your home on whore island?" Yeah dude i know it was appauling when i first heard it too. That was supposed to be my message of death until the ZOMBIE ghost that is came to save my life. It was a small time rogue who didnt like -48s all that much. He wanted me out of here he never thought a man in tights could sit around Mafioso in suits and ties. Godfather RoRoG completely believed in the young and INNOCENT Hulkster.

Hogan finds himself at a loss for words when Egwene brings him a nice tissue to wipe his tears. Ah, the memories. You couldnt help but get teared up talking about a man who saved your life. Now Godfather RoRoG was old. A very old man. A very very very old man. The hulkster only looked old but RoRoG has been in the business for a year? Sheesh thats a long long time. Quickly realizing people were growing bored with him he continues the story.

You know something Egwene i remember hearing about when Godfather RoRoG was just a GOOBER in the streets, his voice was like that a CRICKET in the wind and people would listen to him. Now the streets are celebrated with presence of him. It reminds me of the time we ran down the street with our BUTTS flapping in the wind together dudette! Ah yes how RoRoG loves those good ol' NAKED jokes. Jumping in the HOTTUB that was made of FURRY ART was the highlight of that night though! Mhmmm i can just taste those MONSTER cookies you made us Egwene!

Hogan then remembers that BananaBender soon arrived at the house!

Let me tell you something dude when that STALKEE bananabender showed up with his pet MOTH that he called OTTO we knew we were in for a good time sister! Until we found out that that little insect was a MANEATER. That night we all stayed up late watching MONSTER movies and sitting on the COUCH talking about our favorite crushes in MafiaReturns! Great times no doubt about it. It all seemed to come to a sudden end when i joined Stallions family. I havent talked to the guy in ages but RoRog is a fantastic leader a man who deserves credit.

The Hulkster steps off the podium after having completed his hard to understand short story that wasnt short at all. Then he proceeds off into the night.

"Ah, The memories"

Gallifrey ponders to him self with all the stories he could tell but nothing more hilarious then this night.

Nothing more sticks with me then the night before we were going to pull off the Art heist of the century. After months of detailed work and planning the time was nearing that RoRoG and his rag tag gang would get to make our move on the priceless piece of Art at the gallery, tomorrow was a day that would define them as mafioso in this thing of ours. RoRog, Otto, Butt_Pirate, Maneater, and couch_goober, and I had put in a lot of time and effort into making sure this would go off without a hitch, and quite frankly it was about time because I was getting tired of looking at these men day in and day out; and especially seeing Butt_pirate's furryass every day. The night of the heist Otto decided that nothing would make the night better then if we would all have a drink, and get high. Well after knocking back about 20 or so beers there was a knock at the door standing there as RoRoG opened the door were three females in latex and tube tops. Butt_Pirate came running from the back yelling

"THE ENTERTAINMENT'S HERE BOYS!!!"

dropping his pants revelling his shit stained moth eaten tighty whities then getting naked the sight of Butt_Pirates naked ass turned RoRoG pale like a true ghost and sent couch_goober screaming like an innocent little girl, crying my eyes they burn!!! Hearing all of the commotion, Maneater came running from the hottub naked, turning the corner ran smack into couch sandwiching him between the two and getting a face full of Butt_pirates crotch.

The room was completely in silence other than the cricket chirping in the corner. Flipping out Couch stands up completely stiff like a zombie terrified having a panic attack I tried to calm him down but he wouldn't listened then lunged attacking Butt_piarate in a ragging slur of cuss words and a monster of a whoop ass ive ever seen. He then stormed off; I guess the Art heist was off. With nothing left to do Otto, RoRoG and maneater took each a hooker and said good night to each other. Meanwhile i laid up on the couch rolling up some weed and calling it a night. Safe to say now every time you mention the words hooker, are butt and pirate Couch looks around like a stalkee all frantic.

Therai puffed on his cigar as he thought of RoRoG. The man had been in this thing of ours for a year. That's no small feat. No small feat indeed. Therai smiled as remembered on of his first encounters with RoRoG.

It was a small get together nothing extravagant. There wasn't a single hooker, an ounce of any drug, or idiots who thought it was a costume party and came dressed as a pirate, or a monster, or even a zombie. No it was just a quiet little event a few people enjoying a drink or two and sharing a some stories. Well, the innocent party would soon prove to become much more than that. Therai had just plopped his butt on the couch, a drink in one hand and a cigar in the other, to listen to a story of a museum robbery. The guy had stolen a priceless piece of art and was about to regale the party-goers with the tale of glory when RoRoG comes barging in the front door.

He was drunk as a skunk and as naked as when he first came into this world. For a moment all was silent and everyone's eyes were drawn to the goober who had shown up in his birthday suit. All that could be heard at that point was a solitary cricket chirping and the sound of a moth running into a lightbulb. That didn't stop RoRoG though.

“Otto, you're stalkee is gonna getcha!” he screamed as he ran through the crowded room. He tripped and hit the ground face first. He was sprawled out on the floor his back looking like a furry beast, perhaps a lion, bear, or other such maneater. RoRoG tossed himself back up and ran to the back porch where he passed out in the hot tub. It was a memory that for better or worse was burned forever in Therai's mind.

"Ah, the memories"

I remember the very first time I met RoRoG, the reason I remember it so clearly is the fact we both ended up on the run from the law in quite bizarre circumstances.

It was a pretty wild night, the wind was howling and the rain was lashing it down, I was lying on my couch when there was a knock on the door, getting up to answer it, I knew who it was anyway.

RoRoG, looked like shit, or more like a drowned rat, eyes bloodshot, pale faced and head stooped so low he could lick his own boots.

"What the fuck man?" I asked

"Meh, I have a monster fucking hangover dude, fancy going out for a curer?

Before I could protest, my arms grabbed my coat, my feet jumped into a pair of shoes,the door slammed itself shut and we were on our way out.

Watching RoRoG drag his feet along the corridor was giving me the willies, like the way nails on a chalkboard do,in fact it's fair to say he was moving like a fucking zombie and knowing the crazies out there, someone would blow his head clean off unless he sharpened up.

"FFS man, wait a second, you need something to get you going" I said as I took out my wallet

"Hell yeah, your a tight cunt, didn't think you would sort me out with anything" Piped RoRoG

"Tight?, my arse!" I shouted

As I opened my wallet and batted away the moth that appeared out of no-where, I gave him a few lines of my good shit, as it shot up his nose it was like a surge of adrenaline had went through him, fixing his collar, then running his hands through his hair, RoRoG was ready to rock.

"Fucking nice one buddy, feel like a million dollars now, though still feel dehydrated man, I have a mouth like an arabs sandshoe, in fact my tongue is so dry it feels furry, I could swear there's hairs growing on it".

"Alright man, if your feeling so dry, I know just the place, hot chicks, ice cold beer, drunken bums to wack out back, only one place to go".

"HOTTUB!" the both exclaim.

I recall arriving at the bar, despite the queue being massive it didn't matter to us, we got in the side entrance anyway, I knew it would be fucking packed right enough because Johnny the goober was on the main door, nice fella, but daft as a brush, anyone and everyone was getting in that night, that much was for sure.

We got our usual booth, had some beautiful dancers, lovely soapy bubbles all over them, plenty of beer, some coke, fuck me the night was sweet, nothing out of the ordinary at all.

Until RoRoG broke the rules, If I've told him once, I've told him a million times, DO NOT touch the fucking dancers, if you want a bit more, we can buy some for the night, but no, he didn't listen, he never fucking listens.

While I was busy snorting another millionaire line of coke, RoRog has his tongue all over Chantelle's butt, I mean, the odd touch, o.k, a little touchy feely, not too bad, whipping out the auld fella, alright, that's a warning, but tonguing, NO, NO, NO,NO!!

Like flies all over a steaming turd the Bodyguards swarmed all over us, we drew out guns fast, but were well outnumbered and we knew it.

"Alright boys, settle down, we don't want anyone getting hurt here" I stated, cockily I might add, wasn't scared of that lot, but RoRoG was shitting it, I always had to bail him out.

I still remember to this day, he was still coping a feel, gun in one hand, tit in the other, I swear the guy was in heat.

"Get him the fuck out of here, and take yourself with him" shouted Vinny, he was another, well let's call him, simple fellow.

"Well Vinny, if I take him out, I kinda go anyway,no?" I remember saying, he was none too pleased.

I had a few words with RoRoG, but as usual he turned it around and I suppose he was right, Chantelle's arse was in fact a fine work of art

Had to be done I suppose, so with us out the other side of where we arrived, we decided to move on, by this time, RoRog's cock was biting his leg, to coin a phrase. Too much coke, plain and simple.

That alleyway was littered with every 2 bit hood and bum you could think of, also plenty of girls plying their seedy little trade there.RoRoG being RoRoG decide to get the horn out of him right there and then, it wasn't my thing so I just hung about, mingling with the bums as I enjoyed the crack, from time to time.

I watched him take this huge chick, at least 6 ft 8ins into a doorway and thought to myself she was going to eat him alive, if ever I had saw a maneater, she personified the term.

Only minutes had passed when I heard the shriek and it wasn't from the 2 bums knocking seven shades of shit out each other for the 2 bucks I had bet them, but from the doorway.

And it sure as hell wasn't big bird, it was fucking RoRoG, before I could laugh, I heard the gunshot, so hightailed it over.

"What the fuck is going on?" I said to him, stunned.

"She's a fucking he, I mean he's a she!, IT.......IT... is packing a large one" spluttered RoRoG

I laughed so hard I almost shit, my trousers were saved though as my mood changed swiftly, the big chickdude was doubled over, I thought it was a warning shot, but turns out in the rage, my man only went and shot dudette's dick clean off.

So I started laughing again.

"Would you shut the fuck up?, what the fuck are we going to do?" RoRoG was getting shaky

"Relax, let's just get outta here" I managed to squeeze out between what had now turned into fits of laughter I couldn't stop.

The sirens started blaring in the background, obviously the gunshot was heard and the cops called, so we made haste.

"Honestly man,that's not normal, for a man to do that, I swear that's not my game, I mean..that's just not cricket...is it?" panted RoRoG as we darted through a series of alleyways.

"Yeah,yeah, heard that all before" I mocked

We decided to part ways as we knew they would have been looking for 2 smartly dressed, well built men. The part of town we were in,during party season, everyone dresses up in fancy dress and shit, we may well have stuck out like a sore thumb.

I arrived home unscathed, unrattled, and still snickering slightly, I decided then to have a quick double whiskey and hit the sack.It seemed like I was only asleep for a few minutes when the hammering on the door nearly took it off it's hinges. Being so early from the night before I cocked my gun and checked through the keyhole, it was RoRoG.

He was in a right state of alarm, and thrust a copy of The Gwarble Barble into my chest.

"Have a look at that"

NAKED MAN FOUND MURDERED IN ALLEYWAY

Despite things being serious, I remember still laughing at the contents of the article, which mentioned things like, 'crime of passion', 'lover's sought' 'gun half cocked' and the hilarious images of the 2 suspects,one of which really did me no justice at all.

They were,however, close enough to make us agree to part ways, RoRoG going to New Orleans and me going to Chicago.

We decided to get our stories straight, just in case.

"Right, so we were out for some drinks, we went bar to bar and everywhere we went, this big stunning chick seemed to follow you around" I said

"Yeah I felt like some sort of stalkee, with this maniac getting so close all the time" agreed RoRoG

"So enough was enough once we were kicked out of the bar and she kept pressing and pressing shouting otto,otto!! at you".

"What the fuck is that?" RoRoG asked

"It's like wealthy or something, she thought you were rich, right?" I replied

"Right!, so I fend her off, but she fights back, screaming and shouting, so I throw here to the floor and we walk away, but what about the others there?"

"Don't worry about them, all bums anyway, probably wont even be alive this time next week" I remember reassuring him

"O.K. so we leave, were innocent just now, but some chump has to take the fall or it's back on us."

"I've thought about that, remember it's party season, all sorts of weird and wonderful people around, so we bump into this guy, we don't see his face as he has it all done up and shit."

"Makeup"

"Right, make up, or better still, a fucking hat,glasses and a wig"

"Nah, that's too much, something simpler, a hat and glasses is enough"

"What about, a hat, facepaint and a fucking eyepatch!"

"Haha, a fucking pirate, nice one"

"So he asks us, where can he find a good time, we point him down the alleyway to the big 6ft 8ins hooker, he makes his way there, we make our separate way home and bam, nothing to do with us."

We shook hands and vowed never to tell anyone the story, until now.

I know it's thin on the ground, but that's the story I stuck to and RoRoG did the same, now look at him go, if he was a suspect at all he would never have made it this far, though I still consider myself cop dodging, he probably has them paid off.

Ah, the memories!

Mrs-Doubtfire looks up into the sky and giggles to herself. She had thought of the perfect time back when they were wee little children.

It was a very very long time ago when RoRog and I were little children. There we were sitting on the Couch looking out the window at the rain. We were bored stiff out of our minds and we didn't have a single clue what we could do to occupy our time while the weather passed. RoRog had suggested we painted and tried to make some Art but I was never that kind of person. Instead I decided we should wait for the weather to pass and then go outside.

Many hours passed in which RoRog had mucked around like a right Goober. The rain had passed and we went outside to look for something to do. RoRog decided we should play a game where he was a Monster and I were a Zombie. I thought it was completely stupid but it was better then doing nothing. We chased each other around for many hours fighting. The night drew upon us and RoRog decided it would be a good idea to go out into town without permission from our parents. We were just youngsters so even if we had asked it would of been a No but we were always looking for adventures.

We lived in a quite rough and run down neighbourhood. As we slowly strolled towards the town like Innocent children when we heard moans from down an alleyway. We ran towards the alleyway when we noticed a Naked Hooker and a man dressed as a Pirate getting it off in the alleyway. I was disgusted at the sight of it however RoRog was loving the site of the hooker's Butt, he was staring at it and if he had continued any longer he would of began to drool. I slapped him across the face and he groaned at me. I pulled him away and we continued into town.

Once we got into town we looked around at the clubs and strolled into one that was called Hottub City. As we got inside we noticed lots of hottubs around the building with Furry men and women.. it was one of the most horrific sights I have ever seen. RoRog looked disgusted by the sight too which was a surprise. We quickly exited the building and as we left we noticed a crooked old man who looked like a stalker. He was following a woman who was wearing a very short skirt so we slowly followed them in case something went on. When the woman went down an alleyway the man followed her and she had hidden behind a dumpster.. as the man went passed she grabbed him and said.. 'Look honey, if you're looking for a good time I am a very good Maneater so.. pay up and we can get on with it'. At the time I didn't understand what she meant but as I grew older.. the words became more sense and it still makes me shiver thinking about it now.

We continued to stroll through town for a while longer but all we could ever come across was the sex and the roughness of our lives in that town and what it was like. RoRog then decided it was time to go back home before his mommy found out and he was grounded.. sadly that didn't happen. Once we got home his mom had fell to sleep on the couch so we went upstairs to his room where I was stopping the night and we went to sleep. As I was trying to fall to sleep I noticed a splatted Moth on the wall of RoRog's room. I asked why it was there but there was no answer.. he had fell to sleep. RoRog always was a lightweight at staying up through the night.

The following morning I was awoken by RoRog messing about with his teddy otter who had had conveniently called.. Otto. Surprising huh? RoRog was never good with his imagination. Then again he was never really good at anything other then Cricket. He was also good at being a friend. We got dressed and headed out into the backgarden to begin the day all over again. RoRog's next door neighbour.. Mr Stalkee was a right old Bastard. He really was and all the pressure he put RoRog's mother under made them move away in the end. All because RoRog was a little mischievous git.

When he moved away it really upset me. RoRog was a fantastic friend and in end, I became a Nanny.. he became a mobster. Now look at him Godfather of New Orleans and celebrating his year Anniversary. Congratulations old buddy!

Simplicity was sitting at the bar in Chicago. She was there with a few friends talking about old times, the present, and what the future would bring. Laughing her butt off with them she then raised her hand up to silence their laughter. Placing her drink down she grinned at the story she was to tell.

"You know that RoRoG, fellow? Aye, well I ran into him at the spa one day. I was relaxing in the hottub when he stopped in front of me. He began to talk about all his adventures in New Orleans. He seemed to be mighty fond of the art down there. He talked about how one of his prized possesions was a painting of a furry moth."

Pausing for a moment she watched as the men on the couch began to lean in to listen. She could see that they were mighty confused by the fact that there was a painting of a furry moth.

"I know, I know! I gave him a look of confusion, but he then went on to tell me that the painting was called, 'Otto'. I began to wonder if this painter had something against crickets or butterflies. I still couldn't get over how crazy this story was sounding. Yet, I went with it seeing as he is the Godfather."

"Now if you thought that was weird, just wait till I get to this next part. I was beginning to want to grab a towel and flee, but I would be such a goober if I did that."

Watching as a few innocent ears started to listen in also, Simplicity calmed them down and then took a sip of her drink.

"He told me stories of the creatures that ran rampant in the streets of New Orleans! Things such as maneaters, zombies, and all sorts of monsters! They seemed to enjoy following around the hookers that were practically naked. They seemed to enjoy being the stalkees of such vile beasts! Then again I guess that is why you never see the same gal on the corner. If yah catch my drift."

Simplicity winked at the rest when she made her joke.

"Yet, after all that he just smiled and left me be. It was the only time he spoke to me. I was quite surprised by what he told me. Now I know I can't just part after telling such and interesting story, but I'm very sorry my fellow mobsters. I have to meet up with an old chap'. He be a pirate, yanno. So I guess my life isn't to off from the life New Orleans lives it seems."

Waving her goodbye before taking her last drink, Simplicity made her way out and shook her head at the memory. New Orleans seems to be quite the different city. All those drunken tails and now this! She didn't have time to think much about it. She had a job to be done and she left.