# In a rundown warehouse tucked away down at the end of a dark alleyway on the forgotten side of town Chumps sets to work, sweeping the floors, setting up chairs - arranging them, changing his mind - rearranging them. Replacing the dead light bulbs before ducking out to re-purpose a pulpit from a nearby abandoned church (well at least it was abandoned at the time he jimmied the lock and broke in to 'borrow' it) dragging it back to the warehouse and setting it up in front of the now neatly organised rows of chairs.  after jumping a couple of times on the blackboard he had great difficulty maneuvering out of the classroom door from a local high school and down a few blocks, eventually manages to break it into two almost evenly sized pieces. Then Chumps takes the lump of chalk he likewise borrowed and starts to scribble on the first - in large block capitals (because Chumps never did care much for all that 'fancy' handwriting stuff and besides he did not know how to do it) He writes " GAMBLERS SUPPORT GROUP - MEETINGS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 6:45 " .. After placing this on the outside of the door he starts to write a few slogans on the second board leaning it up against the wall beside the pulpit. The slogans read " IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR GAMBLING THEN YOUR NOT DOING IT RIGHT! " and below that " ONLY LOSERS REALLY WIN " and " JUST SAY NO TO EASY MONEY " Feeling rather pleased with himself he wipes the sweat from his brow and decides to take a drink and stand back to admire his handiwork - then standing up behind the pulpit begins to rehearse his opening greetings thinking the best time to do this was now before anyone chanced by or showed up just in the really remote chance that he messed up and sounded like a gibbering idiot - it was one thing to look like one but to sound like one too would not be very good for his reputation on the streets. Chumps clears his throat .. and began.. #

Welcome one and all to this newly formed support group for problem gamblers, The purpose of our weekly meetings will be to here share stories of our failures and woes and thus find some cold comfort in the company of other like minded individuals because as everybody knows having a fellow degenerate to confide in grants one at least the meagre solace of knowing one is not alone in one's pitiful struggles.

Should the meetings prove to be popular and i seriously cannot see any reason that they would not then i plan to introduce a 'buddy system' whereby if anyone feels the urge to 'fall off the wager wagon' and gamble away the money that would most surely be otherwise better spent on paying their tributes, then there will always be someone here to 'talk them down' or if they do succumb to the temptation to help encourage them get back on the rails and reaffirm their commitment to a decent upright life of frugality, boredom and miserliness.

Just because you have it is no excuse to be wasting it. There will be steps in the program that all serious participants will be expected to accomplish, the first is a simple admission, you will each be first offered the opportunity to take the stand here and profess aloud that you do in fact admit you have a problem, I Will, of course, lead by example ...

#Chumps looks around at the empty warehouse and with a barely perceptible wry smirk, continues..# 

Hello my name is Chumps and I am a problem gambler.....  Simple as that.see ....just takes some damn guts! . and remember the motto.. If you don't have a problem with your gambling i'll bet you $100 your not doing it right..