"Hi all. It's me, your second least-distinguishable knight. I know what you're thinking. Secret society? Must be some sort of iluminati thing. 

Well, you're right! No, I'm just kidding, but someone needs to be validated here and I hope that helped you. The Order of The Flying Piranha is a 1.83 year-old organization, with our membership stretching 2 members. There's no membership fee, but you must be inducted and become an official knight of The Order of The Flying Piranha.

Much like flying piranhas, we all are expected to have sharp teeth and wings. 

What, Mark, that's not in the budget?

Okay. All knights of The Order of The Flying Piranha get little badges for their suits. It's all very dignified and respectful. Feel free to look right here on my suit. Errant Knight Junior points to his breastplate, where a tag of OoTFP rests. 

I'll hang around for questions, if you have any. For now though, let me entertain you with my shopping cart. It's a new invention that carries all sorts of goods on wheels. Incredibly genius, if you ask me. Anyhow. Yes, that's all for now. 

Jimmy listed and scratched his head with a look of confusion on his face. 

"But, if it's a secret society . . . I mean to say, if you want it to be a secret shouldn't you know . . . you not announce it in public. Or wear a badge that clearly marks you as a member for that matter." 

Jimmy chuckles a bit and shakes his head bemusedly. 

"Well, Jim. Is it okay if I call you Jim? The secret society isn't so much our concern as the status afforded to us by being a secret society. Not only do you name recognition *oooh* but you also get to have a secret clubhouse *aaah*. Not only that! 

Errant Knight Junior pauses for a second.

- Okay, you got me. It's for tax purposes. I didn't want to say it, but it's important the public knows the truth. Great question though, I love the challenge."

I'm extremely interested in joining your club but I have a few questions.

1. I'm old and have no teeth so biting is going to be an issue, is this going to be a problem?

2. young people today, no respect and............oooooh a badger

3. Nurse, i've shat myself!

"Don't worry, my good sir. The Order of the Flying Piranha will walk five hundred miles (or more!) for the inclusivity needs of our members. In accordance with the charter interpretation of the piranha, pre-processed food can be served to you at banquet meals in the form of brown slush, green slush, and white mush. That's alongside family favorites such as apple sauce, mashed potato, mashed sweet potato, sautéed spinach, and pure fish paste. Don't ask what fish it contains, that's an issue for our caterers. 

As for your second query, we're open to allowing all sorts of emotional support animals in our facilities, and meetings, including badgers.

Lastly, there's a bathroom just over there, although I don't want to over-intrude, but it's a tight space for chaperoned diaper-changings.

Errant Knight Junior points over to the bathroom building.

Any other questions I can answer?"

Jimmy laughed at the blunt response given by the earnest man. 

"Well, I certainly can't fault you there - any chance to save a few bucks from them vultures in Washington is worth it. And hey, a " Jimmy made air quotes with his fingers, "secret society does just sound cool. Best of luck good sir."

I for one would most certainly be interested, even honored to become a member of such an illustrious Secret Society. 

Providing you can answer the following:

1. How much is the annual membership to be a member of The Order of The Flying Piranha?

2. Does it cost more to be an Official Knight of The Order of The Flying Piranha?

3. Can my alter ego also join at a reduced rate?

4. Is there a secret handshake? Does this also involve rolling up one trouser leg and having half bricks tied with string hanging from my genitalia?

5. Do we get free ice-cream?

I look forward to hearing from you and receiving my badge forthwith.

"Hi there. I would most certainly be able to answer those questions.

One, the annual membership fee of The Order of The Flying Piranha is not quantified by dollar amount, but rather participation in our events and meetings. This means that one event considered of high consequence for The Order of The Flying Piranha might be equivalent to a couple of meetings and banquets. There will be a sliding scale of membership participation where members are given increasing benefits from their engagement. 

Two, one of those benefits of engagement, such as the distinguished rank of Knight, are given through said events. Knights of The Order of The Flying Piranha will become Knights after completing their first successful adventure with us.

Three, your alter ego and your self can have a combined reduced threshold for benefit tier increase, meaning actions that your alter ego and your self take in alignment with The Order of The Flying Piranha's mission will count toward both your alter ego's and your self's advancement. 

Four, the secret handshake will not be exposed to the world outside The Order of The Flying Piranha upon great penalty. 

Five, most certainly. As for flavors, that will be another question to take up with our caterers. 

We will be contacting interested individuals for our first activity forthcoming."

Excuse me, sir ErrantKnightJunior. I would like to join your not so secret secret society. These things are the best way to get clout, and I am always looking for more clout.

However, I have one stipend - you must immediately upon induction promote me to Supreme Mugwump of The Order of the Flying Piranha in recognition of my standing within the organized crime world. This stipend is non-negotiable, and if you refuse I will begin filing paperwork in the international court of law to have your organization recognized as a corporation, therefore qualifying you for many taxes, fees, and antitrust laws.

I await your response via first class mail, with haste, at my headquarters in Bricktown Detroit.

Good day to you.

"I will make it extremely clear that The Order of The Flying Piranha will not be intimidated by legal threats, especially those classifying us as a corporation within tax law. Our esteemed legal firm that we contract has informed us that we will not release a comment at this time dealing with this Mister Wayne and we will await the proceedings of any potential legal outcome."

Errant Knight Junior nodded to his seven suited companions carrying briefcases intimidatingly.