....but you have to earn it.

Starting tomorrow, and for the following 10 days, at 1800 MR time, I shall be posting a question in irc avenue.

These questions will be about historical issues regarding our world, you will need to ask the longer standing family lines of our world and the gods for clues or indeed answers to these questions.

There are also helpful links such as > https://jaundies.com/Gazette/2002/Oct2002/Issue1.htm

You may also want to annoy tiggy in irc avenue for past issues of the gazette, you know, it’s up to you really.

However, I digress, points will be awarded for the first three correct answers that are sent to me and the accumulated points, plus points awarded for the forthcoming ‘mafias got talent’ event (on a street near you soon) will decide who wins the prize of 500 credits.

To win the main prize, you will have to engage in both aspects of the competition.

There will also be a further 250 credits given out for the most entertaining acts in the talent show which will be judged by myself, Charlotte, Squishy and Hualalai.

Let me know if there are any questions or if you need confirmation on anything.

The aardvark with the hard bark (seriously, this isn't easy at all, you try giving me a cool name, it's fucking hard) is bored and not a little drunk

I'm going to start with a question tonight, and it's a one off question where the first responder to me in irc avenue will get 10 credits.

so here it is

My family line evolves from Sirius, Squire, Jammy_Dodger, Zebedee, Foamy, Archipirata, Juanita amongst others.

but,

who was my best friend from England whose family line left these shores 10 years ago?

10 creds guys

slide into my .............no that's fucking gross

message me

Strolls in off a nice bender from the casino and looks Prophet dead in the eye

Psh! That's so easy.... heh...

Sweating he begins to truffle through old logs and torments of the past

By of course that has to be MoneyPenny!

Struts away from the crown to find some corned beef hash and eggs

Artie was surprised the answer was gotten so quickly

Kudos Christ, it didn't even take you 3 days to rise to the occasion

10 credits will be winging their way to you squire.

She overheard Prophetic_Aardvark using her super sekrit identity's name in public and growls. She had kept off of the Streets for some time, she enjoyed her privacy and lack of interaction with human beings, but she could not let him get away with it. This was unacceptable. Balling her fists up she stomped her foot and walked quickly toward him, the look in her eyes told everyone to get out of her way. As she approached the OLD and saggy balled fucker she kicked his Walker far beyond his reach. 

Look you... You doddering twatwaffle. I told you not to call me that anymore! JUST because you're my father does NOT mean you get to do that! All you had to do was keep that between us. Now, EVERYONE knows! I swear I'm going to put you in a home soon! Why are you torturing these poor people with your trivia?? Don't answer that. Just drag your ass back home where you belong. Let me take over for a sec so you can take a snooze and get your nappy changed.

She shoved the anile Aardvark out of the way and turned to address those around her...

I was asked by the senescent old fool, sorry, my father to list out what we are looking for in the talent event. That I have to get back to you on as I still have to discuss it with my cohorts Squishy and Charlotte. No criteria has been set yet so give us a few days. Once again the superannuated, dusty fart jumped the gun. He does that often, just ask the ladies. 

Also, if you require help in regards to the (in)famous Mafia Gazette please feel free to check out the archives in the 4th basement at City Hall. You'll find most, if not all of your answers to ancient Aardvark's questions there. You may also contact me here with any inquiries.

She turned to her father and shook her head. Look at you! You're filthy! Can you not get the food INTO your mouth? 

Whoever gave him the Potato And Hot Dog Salad thank you... At least he's stopped talking for now!

Artie listens, with empathy, to his daughters rant.

her rage is understandable, she has an 'outy' belly button that looks like baby yoda being mouth fucked by Chewbacca's fist, it's not pretty and we try not to draw attention to it.

She is however, an oracle. She has a library of facts which can help you but she's also one hell of a judge.

so, bring that shit on.

Having carefully taken a seat on the hood of Reorx's 1930 Buick Roadster trying to avoid getting rust and dirt all over her she sighed heavily as Aardvark spewed his asinine verbiage like the diarrhea he'd suffer later after eating the Potato and Hot Dog salad. Her palm covering her face as he spoke, eyes closed, and muttering to herself before bringing that shit on.

Father, what the fuck are you even saying? Like, seriously, what the fuck? Chewbacca? What the fuck is a Chewbacca? Is it something like a yeti or sasquatch from up north? Have you been drinking that wolverine piss you call moonshine again? You know that shit isn't good for you. Take a bath would you, you smell like one of your previous victims. The dead ones, not the ones you've "blessed" with your shriveled penis.

Seeing the look of pure embarrassment on her father's face she new she'd hit a nerve. He'd never approved of her trucker mouth antics let alone saying penis in public.

Yes, I said it. PENIS. PENIS. PENIS. PENIS. YOUR SAGGY PENIS. Now, get out of the Streets, go come up with the shit you want in the talent portion of this contest thing where you're giving away Charlotte and my inheritance! I'll visit you later to continue this behind closed doors. Make sure you're decent.

Glaring at Aardvark's caregivers, erm, bodyguards she walks to her shiny, red '33 Ford Coupe to continue about her day still shaking her head and muttering under her breath.

Charlotte was late to the party, but she wasn't to blame. No no, that fell squarely on Artie and anyone else she could point the finger at and go, "It is YOUR fault" and it certainly wasn't going to be herself as she was avoiding mirrors because if she looked anything like she felt, she'd be shot and put down for being a rabid diseased animal wandering the streets. Her hair stuck up in various directions, her dry lips stained red from the wine Artie had plied her with to get her to agree to his outrageous demands of help and responsibility. So sure, she might be a bit late, but she was here, sort of. Physically at least, probably not mentally for quite some time. 

The group hadn't been hard to find, she just followed the sound of someone yelling Penis, and at the end of it she found the head dick. "Artie, why did you do this to me." she said before sitting on the ground in a heap. "I will happily judge people, its one thing I am quite good at, but the amount of wine that you thought was needed to get me to do that..." she said before groaning, looking up at the aardvark with one eye squinted shut to protect her brain from the world. "What do you need me to do again?" she asked him, confused, hungry, and almost certainly dying. 

In a couple of minutes I'll be asking the first question in irc avenue

I will only accept answers via Mobmail, all answers in irc avenue will be ignored.

best of luck to you all, here we go!

for those of you who weren't able to make it into irc avenue, the question was - 

the killing of whom sparked the morbid wars?

good luck

we have the first three correct answers so many thanks to all of you who attempted and commiserations to those of you who failed.

MaryJane

Trevor and

Albino

all correctly answered 'IzzyCreamCheeese' and get 10, 7 and 5 points respectively

i'm awarding 3 points to Deehaj but his 'bambi's mother' answer which I found exceptionally funny

same time tomorrow for the next question

sorry for my tardiness, i have had a mad day to day

for those of you expecting the question at 18.00 i apologise

i've just posted it and it goes thus - 

Who, by killing morbid angel essentially ended the morbid wars?

mm answers only

very best of luck to all

todays first three responders to the correct answer which was Dr_Slaptastic were - 

EvilClown - 10 points

AbbieTual - 7 points

Garou - 5 points

this puts Garou in the overall lead as he's actually submitted an entry to the talent completion. 

same time tomorrow folks.

sorry again for being slightly late

tonights question is 

What was the funniest thing about Angel of Death shooting himself when wackback was first introduced?

good luck to all

so along with the 500 total prize for the combination of answers and talent show, i'm dropping 5 credit prizes randomly in main and also will be giving out random prizes for the best contestants in the talent show

good luck everyone.

:O how'd I miss this?!

It's easily done when a thread is moved to OOC from the Streets where it was intended to be because some dork goes OOC in it too often. :(

I'm assuming I was that dork?

Well it certainly wasnt Me

Once again, I didn't do it. I'm actually innocent! Wooo!