Artie took a latte that had been brought over by Charlottes lackies, if there was one thing she was good at, it was accumulating lackies.

He dropped a large brandy in it and dropped a large one in Charlottes too, if the standard of competition was anything to go by, this could be a fucking long day

Artie put his feet up on his rent by the hour midget under his desk and watched as the comedy stylings of MisterHope graced the stage.

‘BAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA HE FELL OVER!’

Artie was overjoyed but was slightly disappointed with the rest of the gig

‘Like Charlotte, I loved you falling over but the comedy was………..shall we say, not of the most original quality.  However, it takes gonads to get up here so kudos to you, although I too will be raising the frowny face’

Suddenly, a poster was delivered to him by Garou and wow, what a poster it was

‘I love this, absolutely love it but I’m not sure I can judge it in a live talent show, but I’m sure we can find something to reward you with, frowny face I’m afraid’

Next up was a musician.  MaryJane tinkled the ivories like a pro and it was a genuinely pleasant change of pace

‘Bravo young lady, you have a real talent, big smiley face from me and I’ll even let you have a go on my midget’

Next up was some sort of escapologist, and a paddling pool.  Artie was enjoying the fear on the acts face and was pretty sure fear wasn’t the only thing running down his trouser leg

‘BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE FELL IN! that’s a smiley face from me!’

Artie was easily amused

Next up was the mime.  Artie found mimes a bit weird, they always seemed to get stuck in invisible boxes which quite frankly, he found a bit idiotic.  However, the show must go on and this mime also did ‘magic’.  I mean, he had learned the 3 card Monte as a young aardvark, it was the way of the street but this dude managed to rob some rubes in the audience, that alone was worthy of the smiley face

Next up came a sight to behold, Chumps in the polka dot tights alone were worthy of a smiley face but combined with olive oil, pyrotechnics and a bloody big canon, and also…….

‘BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE HURT HIMSELF, that’s a smiley face from me, midget, go and take him an irish coffee’

The day had ended with two comedy turns.  Harper Loki respectively.  Whilst total respect was given it appeared that the acts hadn’t been thoroughly rehearsed, and the jokes were nothing new, so while appreciation was given for the effort, it was 2 frowny faces from me.

Collecting her faithful, sultry, lustful girl's who have been rehearsing all week, perfecting their finely choreographed set. Watching talent one by one preform their act effortlessly in front of the judges, Rose, Vixen, Eleanor were showing a slight amount of nerves behind the curtain. It had been a while since they last preformed, finicking over their outfits. Rose peered her head out from the curtains glancing at LV:Prophetic_Aardvark and PH:Charlotte, CH:Hualalai and Squishy enjoying some beverages, though their glasses seemly growing empty at the night went on.

"I wonder if they need a refill, it looks like they are in for some tough decisions..."Rose trailed off mid-sentence, pulling the curtain closed behind her. A stagehand approached the women with a smoke hanging loosely out of his mouth, a smug look gawking at the women some wearing corsets, hugging and emphasising their womanly curves, tasselled skirts for the element of seduction hindering a full-blown view of their peach behinds, while the other women wore tasselled skin tight dresses for the flexibility of range of movement. Eyeing the women from head to toe he spoke with gruffness "Yer up ladies, sure ya ain't got the wrong place?" Jacqueline rolled her eyes shimmying out of her faux coat tossing it at the gent revealing her purple tasselled brazier and underwear.

"Yeah we're at the right place, enjoy the show Sir" rolling her eyes sarcasm evident on her tongue, waving the girls to follow her onto the stage, dropping their coats to the floor revealing their attire. Sauntering onto the stage heels clicked on the polished floor, the girls took their seats on the stage facing their backs to the audience,

The music started, as Jacqueline began to speak "Evening Judges, thanks for squeezing us in to perform here this lovely crisp night… lookin dashing as always you lot.." eyeing the judges with a smug look on her face, her tone seductive, the music continued to build as she began to sing 

"Of all the boys
Of all the boys, boys
Of all the boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys
Of all the boys
Of all the boys I've known, and I've known some."  

her fingers trailed down the microphone, peering through her lashes, her hips began to pop to the beat, her black hair coating her chest, ruby red lips pursed

" First met you was lonesome, You came in sight and my heart grew light The world was new to me"

 slinking herself down to a squatting position, trailing her fingers tips along the Waiters face who was standing by the front of the stage collecting empty tumblers, giving a soft sultry smile.

“You're swell I'll admit you
Deserve expressions that fit you
Racked my brain hoping to explain
Things you do to me…”

The beat picking up from a smooth soft intro to a quicker pace, Rose was draped over the seat her legs curling over the back of the seat, her movements over exaggerated, slow unfurling her legs, her arms placed on the floor forming a handstand, popping her hips to the tempo, her feet walking through the air in a vivaciously, matching Jacqueline's voice, slowly lowering her legs overhead, placing her feet on the floor, rolling her body upwards beside Vixen whom was limbering herself by the stage upfront, shimmying to each pop of the deep bass, Jacqueline’s voice still hauntingly sweet as she sang, slowly clasped the microphone removing it from the sauntering towards the right of the stage, her hips flicking forward to the beat and rhythm of the music towards Eleanor, trailing her fingers down the woman’s neck, standing as closely as possible to her, whispering in her ear, a mischievous smile spread across her lips as she sang

“ Bei mir bist du schoen
Please let me explain
Bei mir bist du schoen
Means that you're grand”

Her hand resting on the straps of her brazier, curling her fingers around it snatching her brazier off her, Eleanor gasped in attempts to shield herself a flurry of feathers consumed the woman’s body, giggles and gasps heard throughout the crowd.

Parading away from the girls flinging the tasselled brazier towards the group of men by the front of the stage as @MisterHope and NY:Chumps watched on.

“Bei mir bist du schoen
Again and again
Means you're the fairest in the land

I could say bella bella
Even say wunderbar
Each language only goes to show
How wonderful you are”

 swaying her body side to side shooting them a wink peering over her shoulder amused by Vixen and Rose ruffling the feathered fan descending down the stage stairs towards the group of judges, clutching a bottle or port in one hand as the waitress passed by.

Eleanor followed hot on Jacqueline’s heel with the oversized feathers brushing against a few by standers, her eyes falling on NY:GreekFreak  pulling her feathers fan ajar, shimmying, flicking her heels up towards her peach, shooting him a wink before taking a sip from his tumbler. The music climaxing trumpets  squealing, the drums thumping,  pianist feverishly slamming the keys.

Meanwhile Vixen and Rose hurried collecting glasses to the tempo of the piano and trumpets from floating trays making light work of working the room, music flowing through their body, making their way back towards the judges flashing a megawatt smile as they placed the glasses before them, Jacqueline  sauntered over swirling the bottle of port her brow quirked, as she neared, slinking herself onto the table  between the judges pouring them a beverage not missing a beat or spilling a drop whilst singing like a canary... the music coming to an end

Tilting her head up towards the ceiling finishing  her ballad 

"I try to explain
Bei mir bist du schoen
Kiss me, oh kiss me
Kiss me baby
Bei mir bist du schoen...." 

utterly spent, in attempts to catch her breath, a smile formed on her lips,  peering over her shoulder, bringing the microphone to her lips 

"Hope y'all enjoyed the show... now if you don't mind me... mind if I share a mouthful of this sweet aged port...?" Bringing the remainder of the bottle to her lips enjoying the fruity punch.

Puppy was one of a kind, he was the first dog to turn into a human Chong had hired a lab full of scientists to work on transforming puppy from a dog into a human, and because of this Puppy was forever loyal to his best friend Chong, because as a dog and as a human he was forever a mans best friend that man being Chong.

There was still some habits that Puppy needed to get out of but it it what it is so after pissing on a fire hydrant Puppy walked on into the building where the talent show named, Mafias Got Talent was being hosted By the Prophetic_Aardvark and on the leaflet that puppy had read the description said, Just Make It Entertaining so that was exactly what puppy planned to do anyway enough rambling puppy was being stage hyping himself up for his performance he took a shot of vodka just to take the edge of off performing in front of all of those people, puppy didn't like people that much.

Walking out onto the stage to the spot that was marked with an X made from tape he stood there and picked up the mic to introduce himself, as he grabbed the microphone he coughed to clear his throat "Hello everyone my name is puppy and today I will be performing for you all, now I bet your all wondering what I will be performing, that is for me to know and for you all to find out and find out shortly you will." Puppy put the microphone back on the stand and took a step back preparing to perform.

 Puppy waved to the two men that he had hired behind the stage for them to carry out a case that had puppy's act inside it, puppy reached down and unclipped the latch and he pulled out an array of Puppets that ranged from his deceased father Trevor to his friend SlimShady and also he had one of Godfather Chong, he also had one of Bernie but it was too old and fragile to be used. "Alright guys here we go and I'd like to welcome my friend SlimShady" puppy pulled the puppet out of the box and begun to make him get a couple of Valium's inside his palm, then puppy reached into the box and pulled out some tape and put it over SlimShady's mouth and proceeded to speak him "See slim" then another puppet made a noise so puppy said to them "shut up bitch I'm tryna talk" that was when he picked up Trevor dropping slim back into the box. "And this is my father who is now six feet under, but for now he is 6 feet above getting controlled by me for this evening at least" Trevor was a bit of a cunt, he killed people a lot puppy got a gun and a knife out of the box and placed them in his hands and he made Trevor wave them around and point them at at the judges and he made him shoot the gun he had gotten a tiny bb gun made so Trevor could use it in the show and he shot it towards Prophetic_Aardvark but this gun didn't just shoot bb's it shot termites out of it. "Jesus Trevor calm down I think it's time you head back down into the ground" puppy placed him back in the box and pulled out the last puppet that he had and that was Chong, Chong begun to give puppy a scritchy scratch but then puppy had to say "I aint a dog no more Chong you gotta stop stroking me mate" puppy placed a small joint into Chong's mouth and lit it up for him, "how'd you like that buddy I know you love a good bit of weed" puppy got Chong to pull out the joint and tap it onto the floor but then Chong's hand caught alight. Puppy frantically grabbed the fire extinguisher after throwing Chong back into the box and sprayed everywhere to make sure it was all out, he closed the latches on the box and turned around and took a bow, picking up the microphone he addressed the audience and the judges "Thank you all for watching ladies and gentlemen little bit of a fiery ending but at least the building didn't burn down" puppy grabbed the box and walked off the stage.

Rotten can be seen waking through the crowd collecting all objects which can be thrown towards him. As he approaches the stage he looks around before picking up the microphone. Sounds of music begins to fade in as Rotten clears his throat.

You never understand until I put the pills away

And now I’ve been away im loss inside this mental grave

Give me time, I’m breathing despite of a broken mind 

Heart bottom is where you can find me in due time

Been awhile “wow” I never seem to smile

Million miles across the globe is a long road to go

But I travel partaking any damage that’s on the way

So when you look into my eyes you see a lot of hatred

A lot of mistakes there’s no way to escape the bridge 

If I jump I might live, if die will you forget

That is the question I’m asking do you have an answer

Or should I take the rope and put it in your hands so you can grab it

Tie it round my neck and put me inside of the attic

With the other skeletons to give them somebody to chat with

Honestly you can call me suicidal addict

Put you inside of a picture of something you can’t imagine 

Rotten steps away as he becomes nervous by the crowd.

James couldn't help sitting in the crowd, mesmerized by the performance Lady-Marmalade performed.  He couldn't help but let his mind wander over a many of things he'd do with the lovely Lady during the next performance.  He was snapped out of those thoughts when his good friend had taken the stage to do his own thing.  Rotten was crushing it, until there was silence.  James wasn't sure, was his good buddy stumbling, was the crowd getting to him, was the pause on purpose?   It didn't matter, he was gonna cheer on any ways.  

After raising his hands to his mouth James yelled out, "ROOOTTENNN!  YOU'RE ROCKING THIS!  WOOOOOOOO!"

Hearing JamesTreyton cheer me on I knew I couldn’t let him down.

So now I’m drowning inside the ocean searching where my heart is at

I put the Ruger to his head off him now it’s on your lap

On your lap, laying dead is where I’m at

Do you try to help or leave while the blood slowly collects

While your body adapts to the surroundings around you

Take a moment to understand the reason I found you

I found you, you became weaker after the after storm 

You thought about killing yourself I am the outcome

Im the thoughts in the back of your head go far back

Don’t stop where you want to be dead I’m pass that 

Im so far gone there’s no coming forward

My life is full of torture paint a movie make it horror

See the thing about death damn it’s real simple

I fast forward to the scene and I make it simple

The only thing I’m gonna do is make the meeting

When you call upon the lord it’s in your hands how to greet him

Rotten looks around and sees the crowd have became engaged. Placing the microphone close to his lips he decides to finish his song.

Somebody dead in the distance you hear somebody yell

Somebody screaming somebody crying he killed himself

The pain in the heart is felt

He been through a toll I swear to god I felt the same, but it never fails

The rain won’t cold enough so it turned to hail

Hell is a place for demons yeah I know it well

Look in the mirror reflection of a suicide

Letter on top of the dresser so let me describe

You can pretend a smile inside of a broken cry

If I end my life no breath in I 

Heart bottom where I’m at there’s no helping the guy, I 

I might wait, but doubt I will levitate 

When that time comes or maybe it’s just my mental state

Control the outcome in terms it’s ready to happen

Death walking close to the victim, but not passing

Just another tragic in this life I established 

As Rotten finishes you can see him fade away in the distance.

There was a somber look on his face when the Greek Freak entered the talent show competition's doors for the first time since he had attempted to open up a carbon copy to trap would-be entertainers. He had hoped the Aardvark had seen far enough into the future to have saved the winner's name someone in the area, and so he would find it and burn it in an attempt to hide all proof of who actually had won-- unless of course, it was him on the ticket.

"Did the Aardvark have a desk or something?" the tall muscle-bound Freak asked one of the random workers who were no doubt cleaning up one of the acts gone awry, much like his own; it felt like yesterday when he was shoving bribes into the judge's pockets and getting water all of the grounds. Before getting too mixed up in his own emotions, he snapped himself out of it and continued with the mission, reminding himself that there was only one objective.

"I don't know, man. I just work here. Hey, ain't you that freak that got water everywhere?" 

Noticing the annoyance in the voice of the worker, he opted to duck down into one of the back rooms of the talent show, knowing full well the futility of finding a hidden written-down premonition from the head judge. Yet there was no talking him out of what was taking place right now, and sanity, for the moment, took a back seat to madness. Then the man noticed exactly what he had been looking for the entire time, a tiny little Aardvark-shaped hole in the wall.

Shoving his hand inside the dark and deep hole, he realized in horror that his fingers were now receiving tiny nibbles from the other side of the abyss, and without wanting to stick around and find out what this hole was used for; the slightly perturbed man found himself walking quickly towards the exit, knowing now that he would never win this damnable competition.

"I'm washing my hands of you, Mafia Talent Competition! Unless, of course, you're still happening... in which case I take back everything I've just said and I am more than happy to continue my conquest towards superstardom. Call me!"