The Tabloid News Special Plumbers Edition
Mr. Pickles:  Editor-in-Chief

FROM THE EDITOR

Ed. Note – Neither The Tabloid News, nor Mr. Pickles is in any way shape or for affiliated with The Plumbers.  Neither The Tabloid News, nor Mr. Pickles is in any way shape or for affiliated with The Plumbers.  Neither The Tabloid News, nor Mr. Pickles is in any way shape or for affiliated with The Plumbers.  That being said, they are adding some pep to the street gumbo, and we would like to capitalize on that.

Everyone has noticed the Plumbers statements in the streets.  They claim to be a loosely based group of people who have placed a hit on Roman in order to make him stronger.  Perhaps by the public display of Roman’s ability to marshal his forces to pay to take himself off the Hit List, he has proven himself to be a highly capable leader controlling the admiration of all who serve under him.  There biggest concern seems to be the mysterious NNR, the Nearest Nutty Rival.  And, whether or not you take them seriously, they are adding a very interesting conversation to the streets.  It’s possibly one of the best, most outlandish Tabloid articles that I wish I’d written but is playing out in real life.

The Tabloid News was (honest to god) granted an interview with their leader.  Caution was taken so that Mr. Pickles would never know the true identity of The Leader so that he would not have to be in a position to lie to his Crew Leader or his Godfather about revealing his source.  What follows is the actual interview, edited for spelling and cohesion.

 THE INTERVIEW

<Mr_Pickles>  I'm going to ask my first question, which I know you won't answer, but ... who are you?

<TheLeader>  My lineage is well known, very well known.  I won't get drawn on specifics, but at one time I controlled a major city, at other times I've held CL and RHM positions in some of the biggest city-wide operations going.  At present, I am a well protected boss, operating incognito

<Mr_Pickles>  So, you are not the Nearest Rival?

<TheLeader>  I am not even remotely a rival to anyone as high level as him - TD was talking about Roman's actual nearest rival.  Prem is the nearest rival.

<Mr_Pickles>  I see.  And, how do the Plumbers relate to Premeir?

Ed. Note – This part of the interview was the standard rant about how Prem is evil, blah blah blah, etc. etc. etc.  We didn’t feel it necessary to publish this to get the message across.

<Mr_Pickles>  And, you think that by Roman marshalling his forces to be taken of the Hit List makes him a more powerful leader to the public?

<TheLeader>  Yes, in a nutshell.

<Mr_Pickles>  So, why not just use your influence to have Premeir killed?

<TheLeader>  $100m is a chunk of change -scenario one - the attack is launched and Roman kills Prem - we win.  Scenario two, Roman marshals his troops and comes out stronger - we will.  We don't have that much influence, we are realistic.  If you read the statements we have always said that we don't have that much power.  We can take out some of his low level guys but would expose ourselves

<Mr_Pickles>  So, basically, you have no power to affect real change?

<TheLeader>  We should move on from Prem though, if this becomes all about him, you would be in danger.

<Mr_Pickles>  What else is there?

<TheLeader>  Our hitlist

<Mr_Pickles>  What purpose does your hitlist serve?

<TheLeader>  That is the main aim, but we have others

<Mr_Pickles>  which are?  What are your top five goals?

<TheLeader>  Our hitlist isn't public.  We have identified some members who we have deemed to be enemies of the people and action is being taken

<Mr_Pickles>  What is the reason for this hitlist?  What do you want to accomplish with this?

<TheLeader>  There is a diminutive and ineffectual Capo who is at the moment having his bodyguards killed. This is the first strike on him.  A statement will follow

<Mr_Pickles>  Why?

<TheLeader>  We aim to accomplish by this, and other actions, a genuine sense that some bloodlines need to change their ways

<Mr_Pickles>  Next area . . . what have you done that is proof you guys can do what you say you can do?

<TheLeader>  I might as well tell you, Kuklinski is involved, he has some of his own agenda, but it broadly meets ours.  He wanted to be leader but that was vetoed.  He is a controversial figure, so I'd prefer if you kept this quiet

<Mr_Pickles>  I'm concerned with the group as a whole.  What have you done that is proof you guys can do what you say you can do?

<TheLeader>  The $100M hit is the most obvious, the BGs assassinations will follow.  After that, we will take an action a week.  A high level assassination here, a thought provoking thread there, a crew infiltration over there

<Mr_Pickles>  Besides the hit list, what else have you done?  Under "Reason" why did you not write "The Plumbers?"

<TheLeader>  at that particular moment in time, we were going to remain totally anonymous, until we also shot and killed someone basically, and this is the problem with our small numbers, we couldn't find the target  we wanted to coincide the [announcement] with the lottery draw when we knew it would be busy

<Mr_Pickles>  How does that further your goals?  What benefit is there to not taking claim for your actions?

<TheLeader>  One of our members used this tactic before and it worked very well. We did claim for our actions - the proof is in the streets.  Our profile is high and we have recruited someone very special.  We need more members - no doubt about it.  In essence, we are a pressure group.

<Mr_Pickles>  But, you have no proof that you're anything more than a publicity machine to create intrigue in the streets.

<TheLeader>  We have got a descendent of a well known Concept gunman with us now, and he is itching for some old-style action - we need to harness this in the most effective way, whilst training him politically.

<Mr_Pickles>  Yet, Tricky Dicky said this wasn't affiliated with the Conceptualists.

<TheLeader>  Well, if you take a highly cynical view, yeah maybe.  But we are plausible.  And, furthermore, it is provable if you follow the obits and the streets.  Let people wonder the Concepts don't really exist any more.

<Mr_Pickles>  That's no more than taking credit for coincidences.  How many members do you have?

<TheLeader>  9

<Mr_Pickles>  So, goals . . . 1) Keep Roman in and Prem out.  2) Cleanse some bloodlines.  3,4,5?

<TheLeader>  3 - create a House of Lords style informal organisation to prevent some of the outrages of the past .  4 - create a free press - we want there to be a forum where people can have their thoughts published anonymously without fear of reprisal.

<Mr_Pickles>  By putting your own people in power?

<TheLeader>  Not in power, no, people who are dedicated to some basic ideals of this thing

<Mr_Pickles>  If it's anonymous, how could there be reprisals?

<TheLeader>  like we're doing now.  You should be able to verify my identity without me being killed.  I have a lot to lose.  You or Chuckle, should be able to exercise journalistic integrity.

<Mr_Pickles>  Have you read our papers?  We have no journalistic integrity.

<TheLeader>  I should be able to contact you from without a pseudonym and talk to you,you confirm my identity and publish the article, if it's newsworthy.

<Mr_Pickles>  I run a Tabloid.  But, regardless, it sounds as if you want [the gods] to start doing The Mafia Gazette again

<TheLeader>  outta interest, what do you think of us?

<Mr_Pickles>  I think you are merely an interesting diversion in the streets.  I think that it's great intrigue and suspense.  I don't think you've proven yourself to be a deadly group.

<TheLeader>  we don't claim to be

<Mr_Pickles>  But, you create a stir in the streets and I want to be on top of that.

<TheLeader>  we explicitly said most people have nothing to fear

<Mr_Pickles>  Indeed.  What you guys need is a good old fashioned manifesto.

THE SUMMATION

So, think what you will folks.  Here it is.  Discuss amongst yourself.

Sweeney eating a piece of pizza at a diner reading the paper. Sweeney continues to read and see that when TheLeader speaks in this sentence: like we're doing now.  You should be able to verify my identity without me being killed.  I have a lot to lose.  You or Chuckle, should be able to exercise journalistic integrity.

Sweeney is sad that he didn't say anything about Mob News.

Oh. Well. Anyways. A great interview Mr_Pickles. Should do that more!

Gaggia reads the special edition of the fine newspaper and is glued to the dramatic interview between "Theleader" and Mr Pickles. He thinks to himself what a top journalist Mr Pickles is, and if he ever meets him, he will thank him for such great Tabloid.

JkL grabs a copy of the paper

Mr Pickles, putting himself in the line of danger to bring us the scoop about The Plumbers and "the leader". 

Wonders how Chuckle is going to counter this superb read. 

The Plumbers, is that now their official name? 

"we don't have that much power."

Why are we giving them column inches and air time when the admit that they have NO POWER

While I appreciate Mr.Pickles taking the time to interview this no name C, his mouthy responses hold no strenght. He's merely entertainment on a boring day.

" outta interest, what do you think of us?"

If you wanted a summation of this entire silly Plumbers thing... there you have it.

See our most recent statement.  Our guns have been used before and they are still smoking from this past action. 

We are a deadly group.  Not hugely deadly, no.  But somewhat deadly.  A fair bit.  Fair to middling in the deadly stakes.  Our talents lie elsewhere.

A fair bit deadly ye be sayin'.

LoveGun grins and takes a swig of her rum. The comment obviously amusing her.

But, back t' this paper. Which be excellent, I didn't even be usin' it for an umbrella from th' rain not even once. Tha' be how great it be. A wonderful interview from a wonderful Pickle.

"See our most recent statement.  Our guns have been used before and they are still smoking from this past action. We are a deadly group.  Not hugely deadly, no.  But somewhat deadly.  A fair bit.  Fair to middling in the deadly stakes.  Our talents lie elsewhere"

You finally got something right, your talents do list elsewhere. You have a talent for bullshit. No one actually cares what you have to say. You have come to the streets claiming a higher purpose and spamming our streets with your flawed logic, your lack of any sort of continuity in your statements and your self-absorbed wishy washy reasoning. 

You want to show our world just how mighty you are but yet have done absolutely nothing to back it up. 

We live in a world that is built on action. So either start walking the walk or stop talking the talk. 

JKL - please point out in our statements where we have claimed we are mightly, or that we are going to do anything to back up our claims to might?

So, if I am mistaken, then what exactly are your claiming? 

As you can tell, I have paid a lot of attention to what you have been saying and you make absolutely no sense whatsoever. 

I have still yet to see any shred of evidence that you were behind the hitlisting of Godfather Roman, and that you are armed with anything more than your cock, and you have any capability for carrying out whatever it is you are actually threatening. 

At least you have given up with the "I love Roman" so much routine, thats what happens with crushes I guess , they come and go. 

JKL - it's up to you, as the one with the accusation, to prove the substance of your claims.

You have claimed that I claim might - show me where I do this or else accept that you are wrong.  If you don't respond to this specifically, you have lost credibility and won't be taken seriously.

I think you're out of your depth here, but good effort.

Dicky, 

Since you made your existence aware to us, you have not backed up all your claims and rantings with one shred of proof as to your capabilities. You claim to represent an imaginary group that has nothing going for it. 

Ironfist was a group, GPC was a group, Mystery Men was a group ... our history is littered with the kind of organizations you quite clearly think you have. Whilst you come to our streets and run your mouth about just how capable you are, you will not be taken seriously. 

You have made all kinds of claims and threats but you have only offered us words. You are not offering us any message, you are merely rambling on trying to make yourself important. 

You dont like the way our world has evolved, then pick up your gun and do something about it. 

I learnt a long time ago, that respect is earned never given. You have a long way to go if you think society will offer you anything more than ridicule. 

Your group is bullshit, your claims and threats are bullshit.

Stand up and be accounted for or go find another sandbox to play in. 

JKL you say "Since you made your existence aware to us, you have not backed up all your claims and rantings with one shred of proof as to your capabilities"

Back this up with direct quotes from me, then I'll take you seriously - you have a bee in your bonnet and a vivid imagination.  The result is you consistently making a fool out of yourself on these threads.  Be concise and accurate in what you say.

You can't, unfortunately, be taken seriously as your comments are hyperbole.

What's that Bonzo?

Why would JKL need to use direct quotes from you?

Ruh Roh.

~C~

Think you may have dropped the ball there Bonzo.

I meant DickTrick, not JKL - I was quoting JKL as saying what needed to be said.  Sorry, my bad

ummm i dont think that quite makes sence...you were referring to DT by never mentioning his name. And the structure of your sentence sure makes it seem like you were referring to JKL from the perspective of DT. Unless i am mistaken and mis understand the post

I am also of the same understanding as Cadoras.

Indeed, your response almost seems to be a continuation of the argument between JKL and DickTrick - said in a remarkably similar style to how Dick himself might have phrased it.

~C~