Today, in a sensational exclusive, we exclusively reveal the sensational news that The Cohen Chronicle was party to the sensational event that was the death of Eggs_Benedict.

Our editor, Leonard, wrongly identified Eggs_Benedict as someone else and reached out for an interview.  When it became clear that Eggs (it's easier to write) wasn't the "Benny" that Leonard had heard about, he realised that he was actually someone else, who appeared, at first glance, to be of some importance.

So, like any good journalists, we approached him for an interview.  You can see the transcript here.

As you can see, we put the question to him "what do you have to hide?"

Judging (no inexpensive activity) by his sudden demise, we would say "quite a lot."

Adora quickly followed him into a grave, and also Catherine.

With the irrelevant exception of Adora, what all of these slain have in common is that The Cohen Chronicle approached them for interview or to work for us.

We have not an armed wing, and we did not wish their demise.  So let us ask:

What did Eggs have to hide?  And is now a capital offence to be a writer?

NEW INFORMATION

Just in, Eggs_Benedict's boss has not visited his grave.  Was this an inside job? 

This just in, Leonard has no style or tact. Babbles profusely about…something, I guess. 

What exactly is your end game here? What are you tryin got prove? That more than one person doesn’t want to speak with you?

Well since you’ve some obsession with me at the moment, might as well get this out of the way now. It’s clearly out of the realm of possibility that I spoke privately with these people instead of a meaningless funeral post. But please, keep focusing on what I’m doing for…well, I can’t really seem to find a reason why you would. At what point did I cross you that you’re actually wasting the time and energy on whatever this is.

Love it

Keep on the good reporting which make many of us glad and having a great day after getting good things in life.

Much shit is putting out what ever is written and its never any idea to bother about such things.

Respect and good ways to others os what we all need in life.

So lest keep our hea dhigh and have fun. Looking forward to what comes up her soon again.

You should add a crossword puzzle.

DapperDodge - I can commission you to do one? 

Fr_Ted_Crilly - the non-attendance of a CL at a dead members funeral does not exactly inspire confidence, or show commitment, does it?  Loyalty is our lifeblood, no?

I doubt anyone who’s lineage has been barred from these shores for so many different offenses, should be making any claims of commitment or loyalty. Especially of things that they have zero knowledge of.

Tuesday - please, your constant reliving of the past is not endearing.  If you have to be part of my newspaper, I will happily interview you.  You are talking about presumably long dead people.  

I am asking you here, in public, and in front of our respective CLs to stop with your vendetta against me.

As per usual, your lineage gets out of federal prison on fantasy rape charges and the very first thing your line does is immediately start posting about the very same line you got banned for writing rape fantasies about. Clearly that shows your line learned absolutely nothing during its time away.

You can dance around it all you want, doesn’t change exactly what you’re doing.

Tuesday - I simply don't understand what you are talking about.  I have asked you to stop interrupting me giving my speech on this street, and you continue to do so.  I have even given you the money back that I took from you:

Your accountant makes note that $10,000 has been wired to Tuesday from your account. The note "I picked your pocket" was included.

Now, will you please desist from interrupting me, unless you want to be interviewed for my newspaper? 

Sure, I’ll play your game. I’m starting myself a newspaper. You can be the first interview.

First question: Your line, the Kuku line, has just been released from federal prison on fantasy rape charges. Do you deny these facts?

Second question: After returning to these shores, you immediately begin talking about the same line you previously harassed to the point that your lineage was locked away. What was the purpose of that? Are you trying to prove that you are the same person? Or that despite the ban handed down from on high, your line has not changed at all?

Tutte - perhaps you'd like to suggest my next interviewee?