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| Drunk Witness Statements | Started by: Talon on Mar 31, '08 13:11 |
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I was walking through the streets in Chicago this afternoon, busying myself with talk of the recent war between Limoncello and PrinceofCheese. Something of interest to me as my father, god rest his soul, was shot in the foot whilst drunk and bled to death in his sleep, the fool. So there I am, in Chicago, listening to Honda correct me, when a drunk, bleeding man staggered towards me with his hands held out trying to grab me. At first I thought it was Major_Jerkovski again after a few too many but when he came nearer, the smell overwhelmed me, stale iron mixed with vodka, this feller must have been bleeding for some time. "Not today my friend." I try to manoeuvre passed him but for all his appearances, the guy can move. Before I know what's happened, his tackled me to the floor and climbing up my body to stare me in the eye. "You have to know, someone has to know, I saw the whole thing and was chased, when they caught me they beat me, they left me for dead but I survived, of course I survived!" At this point, all I'm thinking about is getting this bum off me when he grips my jacket and places a beer coaster in the front pocket. "This is the proof, the only proof, only you and me know what . . . ." At that he went limp. There I was, lying on my back on the side of the street, with a dead tramp straddling me and bleeding all over my suit. I take a look around, no one seems to have noticed so I push him off, brush myself down and make for the HQ to clean myself up. I head for the airport and while I wait, I remember the coaster he gave me. I reach into my pocket and hold the coaster up to the light. Written in red ink were the words: You witnessed "BigFatC*n*" and "AceAn*lDelight" raiding rubbish bins like drunk foxes. Some of the letters were ineligible and it appears, in his drunken state, the tramp has spelt the names wrong ... |
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What can I say? Times are hard in Chicago at the moment. You can't tell me you have never partaken in a little bin dipping in the past......... |
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| Reply by: Cab_Tufting at Mar 31, '08 13:36 | |
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| By The sounds of it thats not the only thing hard :\ | |
| Reply by: Dimebag at Mar 31, '08 18:47 | |
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