Tony was walking slowly, hands in his pockets, a cigarette burning in his lips.

At nights like that one always that thought comes into his head. And again after the war he realize how wrong most of the people are.

He stops for a second to see around the lights the cars the joy and blissfulness of innocents. He remembered that time in Italy when preparing for the fight.

“You should be a monster you know?” He said to his partner “Because everyone says you should be harmless, virtuous, you shouldn't do anyone any harm, you should sheath your competitive instinct, you shouldn't try to win, you don't want to be too aggressive, you don't want to be too assertive, you want to take a backseat...” The thought made him laugh low. His partner was a good guy, but not good in a manner of virtuous, he was simple minded. Tony said to him “You should be a monster an obsolete monster”
 

Snapping out of the memory he start walking again. “...and then you should learn how to control it”

Memories late in night are dangerous things. You turn them over and over, until you know every touch and corner, but still you'll find an edge to cut you. 

Tony entered a bar. Signal a lady for a beer. He closed his eyes and let the noise of music and people talking embodied him.

Sometimes he hated the silence. In italy when at war... That silence almost beat him. It’s the silence that scares him. Not guns, not people, not bombs dropouts from metal machines. It’s the blank page on which I he could write his own fears. The spirits of the dead have nothing on it. The fallen comrades has nothing to it. The dead one tried to show him hell, but it was a pale imitation of the horror he can paint on the darkness in a quiet moment.Took a sip of a beer and stare for a moment at the bottle with the golden liquid in it.

“Each day the memories weigh a little heavier. Each day they drag you down that bit further. You wind them around you, a single thread at a time, and you weave your own shroud, you build a cocoon, and in it madness grows.” He thought and emptied the bottle, ordering another.