I, Lucky Alponse,   am here in the streets to let you all know that I am the public face of a secret public organization that has been incog.  Well, we are incog, but we have our online meetings in the Bar District in NY since noone ever goes there.  We are not really well known to this thing of ours and our leader, whose name of LuckyAlponse in particular, is shall never be seen in public.
 
For the purposes of this speech, we will be known as "Association of Pizza Delivery Drivers" or APDD as we are known in public.
 
APDD have been working in the shadows of all the local crews and behind the scenes in sekrit to make sure that the RIGHT actions take place in this thing of ours.

APDD has targeted several members of this thing of ours who do not meet our standards.

It is not about the Pizza you make, nor is it about what you put in it.  It is even not about HOW you make it.
It IS about and only about how you DELIVER IT.

In the past several months, we have noticed that the standards of the delivery of piZzas, ie, careers and hits and whines have deteriorated.
Given that fact and the fact that we got bored scratching the burnt cheese off the discarded boxes at our HQ, we decided to spring on our unicycles and head in to action.


We have worked hard to spread feelings of dismay and depression among several of the worst offenders.

As proof of our actions, we present to you the last 10 mafiosos who committed suicide.

Coincidence?

NO - WE KNOW the truth and now it is time for everyone else to discover it.

Of course, being incog, we have not directly interacted with our victims, instead, we installed undercover new gangsters who spread across the Coffee Shops and confused and distressed everyone and in particular, yes.... the ones who are no longer among us.


Another action that we did was to engineer the takedown of an entire crew.  
I bring to your attention the recent rash of deaths that is listed below:

Noice that we have targeted everyone in the said crew, from Godfather down to the mere lowly Gangster and this is but a mere partial list.
 

Our next step will to bring upon the retirement of one of the most useless members of this community.
This person has been with us for eons, surviving, not for his skills, but rather by hiding in full view in front of you.

His devious lifestyle has brought down, what I would call, the person (RIP) with the most redeeming qualities whom we have had the pleasure to meet.

Project Mayham, we miss you.

WebSpider, let this be your first and final warning.

You have less than one year before we act.
We have a plan, we have the money, we have the brains and yes, we have the fleet of pizza delivery motorcycles.

You will hear back from me, in the next day or so, or perhaps not.
It all depends if I remember to take my meds.

Al

Any good organization needs loyal members that will follow your ideals. I want to be a secret member of your secret organization. So I will not be asking for anything publicly but secretly be an associate of yours.

Great job adding to the already cluttered streets from The Plumbers bullshit. I am not sure whether I should laugh at you or shoot you.

doktor I think you're missing the point here man.

Lucky you and your pizza men seem to have your act together. Rest in Peace to the Durden family. You monsters massacred them. May god have pity on your souls.

I'm with Whiskey, your organisation is more stealthy than seal team 6. You people are sadistic monsters for butchering that innocent Durden family!

May God rest the soul of poor TylerDurden and his ill fated crew. But I predict that TylerDurden will come back more powerful than ever before in a couple days.

Don't go after WebSpider--or every family will unite to cause you pizza men your doom.

After listening to the speech he stepped forward

Obviously Doktor, you don't know when someone is having a bit of fun and making a joke. Also i don't know why you are threating a capo of your own city.

I dont know if i should tell your leader, or shoot you.



" Great job adding to the already cluttered streets from The Plumbers bullshit. I am not sure whether I should laugh at you or shoot you."

all these secret organizations threaten the secrecy of my own secret organization

Alphonse, can i join you?... I mean, in a few days Durden will smite you with his mighty family strength!

Name: doktor     

Rank: Made Man
Bodyguards: Protected
Status: Dead

CLEARLY,

APDD is not to be trifled with.

For the rest of you, I will allow you to join if you pass our grueling interview process...

or

send me a neat note related to pizza delivery!

Nice try, Alphonse, but I'm in a society that's so secret that I just found out last week that I'd been a member for six years!  Apparently, I owe a lot of back-dues!

Monet nearly falls over out of shock. Luckily he steadies himself on his cane and regains his composure. 

His cracked old lips he calls a mouth, falls open, catching moths. 

My god, I can't believe you! How awful. What did the Durden family ever do to you? Here you have been, under our noses this entire time. I am shocked, truly and utterly shocked. 

The old man stands there, lingering, his joints forgetting how to move because of the devestation he feels from this awful news.