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Hannah sat at the edge of the couch waiting for the front door to open, he'd be home any minute. She unconsciously picked at her cuticles and tried to keep her silly grin off of her face. She wanted this to be a surprise for him. The bathroom light was still on, but Hannah didn't care. Any other day she would have not forgotten about it as Danny would have harped on her for wasting money. Not today though, he wouldn't shout at her today.
She looked around their small apartment. It wasn't anything special or big, but much better then anything she ever had had before. Things were starting to actually pick up for them and each day looked brighter and brighter. It all turned around after Danny had gotten the job under one of the captains of New York City's Godfather. Well, most things had gotten better. Hannah's eyes swept over the tiny kitchen and the three whiskey bottles that sat near the sink, empty. She had just taken out the trash two days ago...
No, she wouldn't think about that. Hannah told herself and put on a smile that wasn't as confident as the one moments ago, but she flushed the bottles from her mind. The door, it would open any minute now and Danny would walk through and she'd jump into his arms and tell him the good news. The news that they'd be starting a family. That thought brought her simple but magical smile back to her lips. The smile Danny fell in love with that spread up into her blue eyes. The eyes he couldn't get out of his head, the lips he told her he day dreamed about while he was suppose to be taking care of a job for the boss.
In all her 17 years Hannah couldn't remember being this happy, ever. She arranged herself on the couch for the bazillionth time. Her legs and feet together, but still, nervous energy coursed through her body and she couldn't help but slightly bounce her feet off the ground. Nervous, that wasn't correct. She was nervous visiting the doctor today, but only excitement filled her being now. Hannah bit her lip, okay and maybe some nervousness. The thought made her giggle and she moved her hand down to her stomach, moving it in small circles over the little bump she should have noticed a month ago. But, it was winter and it was a cold one. Most of the time they didn't turn on the heat in the apartment and she was always walking around in layers upon layers of clothes.
Just then, the door opened in a messy haste and Hannah could tell something was wrong, but she held her smile proud and strong.
Danny!
Hannah exclaimed and stood from the couch, moving towards him. He didn't even look at her, didn't even notice the extra bounce in her step or maybe the now apparent new to her glow her skin had. No, he didn't notice, he stormed passed her with a brown paper bag clutched in one hand. Her heart sank, but she was determined to brighten his mood, she was always good at that. Hannah followed him into the kitchen and watched him pull the new whiskey bottle from the bag. She wondered if that came out of their rent money. But they would, well Danny would need something to drink to celebrate. Hannah dismissed the bottle and leaned her hip against the counter as Danny opened the bottle and took a swig out of it.
Danny, I've got something to tell you.
She said it softly, she was very aware that Danny was in a bad mood. Maybe something happened with the boss today. Not that this was the first time Danny had trouble doing his job, but he usually got over it and started to not be so mad after a few days. Still, Hannah couldn't keep this sort of news in for much longer.
"Hannah can't you see that I'm havin' a drink right now?"
She opened her mouth to say something, but he turned away from her, walking back towards the couch to turn the radio on.
But Danny, it's really important.
"Hannah"
He said her name with such rage. The tone was a command to get her to shut up and leave him alone. She could almost see it boiling under his skin. If only she could tell him the news, it'd change it all. Change his mood, change the way they lived, changed the way he drank. He'd probably quit for the baby, be a sweet daddy to a little baby girl or a good role model to Danny Jr. If only she could tell him and he'd listen to her, everything would be better.
"Will you leave. Now. I've got some stuff to take care of. Go back in the other room, go pack a suit case. We're taking a vacation tonight."
A vacation? Hannah asked, worried. They didn't have that sort of money. Is everything okay?
"No, Hannah it's not. I messed up, I fucked up, we've gotta leave town."
But Danny, this is our home.
Hannah watched him leave the side of the radio and walk towards her, approached her, get really close to her, move his hand towards her and for a moment she believed he was going to embrace her, kiss her and tell her she was beautiful. About how he kept thinking about her eyes all day. But then, he moved away from her. Hannah looked at Danny and quickly noticed there was blood on his hand.
Some strange emotion shot through her whole body but was quickly replaced by a searing pain that burst it's way from her jaw, tearing through her whole body. She brought her own hand to her mouth and when she pulled it away it was red for what she hadn't said.
Drunk. He was drunk the moment he walked through the door, she should have told him then so he could have been celebrating with her now. A happy drunk, but she didn't tell him and now he had a full blown angry drunk. The bottle sat on the coffee table stealing the spot light for a moment. Just a moment before her mind raced again and the realization of the situation sunk into her mind. This was her fault.
Danny
She said softly, moving a shaking hand towards him. She felt faint, but she was already on the ground.
"Bitch I don't want to hear it. I told you to do something and that's what you get for not following my orders."
He walked away, down the hall towards there bedroom and Hannah desperately tried to put the pieces together. She was good at making him feel better, it might have been the only thing she was good at in the whole entire world. Was he leaving her? Would he still take her on vacation with him? She needed him, so desperately. He poured blood into her heart and she could never get enough even though she was drowning in him.
Hannah didn't have the strength to pull herself up off the ground, she also feared to move. She closed her eyes slowly and for a moment she found peace, but then there were footsteps. Danny was coming back for her.
"Hannah"
He said, but nothing more. Danny held a gun in his hand, panic surge back into her. He was leaving, he wasn't going to take her with him. She messed up really big this time.
Are you taking me with you?
The words formed into a desperate plea more than a question, but Danny crouched down to her. He touched her face gently, smiling he moved a piece of her blond hair out of her eyes.
"Baby, I messed up bad. The boss is after me, he's got a hit on me. We're gonna have to leave, go far away and never come back." He looked at her and she looked at him. "Baby, will you come with me?"
She nodded her head quickly and she gave him a small weak smile.
"That's what I thought Doll and there's that smile for me. Now, let me do one more thing and then we can leave and be together forever."
Hannah watched him raise the gun towards her, watched him pull the trigger. She heard the shot and she felt the heat of the bullet enter her chest, but her love for Danny over powered it all. Her face fell into a stupid glazed over look and she just kept looking at him. Danny would treat her right, he was doing this to save them, save her and the baby from the evil men that wanted Danny dead. Use her to get them out of town, if he was speeding down the road no one would pull him over with his pregnant girlfriend bleeding to death. Hannah continued to smile at Danny until he raised the gun to his own head, placed the barrel gently to his left temple.
"I love you Baby, you know this is the only way we'll stay together forever."
This wasn't right. How was Danny going to drive them out of town if he was bleeding too. No, she was suppose to make it all better for him. She attempted to move, but a crushing pain sent her straight back to the ground, but it was already to late. Danny had pulled the trigger.
Now, Hannah was left to die. Her breathing was already staggered and there was so much blood. As she lay waiting for the darkness to come Hannah thought about things. How she'd never smell a fresh flower again, never wake up next to Danny and whisper that she loved him as he slept peacefully. Would never lay on the beach, feel the sand between her toes. She'd never eat another hotdog at Coney Island or feel the breeze make a wild mess of her hair as Danny and her drove around town.
As all her thoughts came together Hannah realized Danny had never intended to take her on vacation. Danny would have rather died by his own hand instead of his boss'. He knew that his boss would find him and would kill him. Danny didn't want to keep her safe, he wanted to hurt her and take her with him. To keep her for himself, for his own selfish reasons. He betrayed her and finally she was able to cry. Her eyes became deep blue pools that spilled over and down her cool cheek. Hannah knew it'd be soon and maybe the thing that hurt her the worst was that Danny would never know he was going to be a father.
~*~
LoveGun was drenched in sweat as she sat wide awake in her bed. The bed sheet was tangled around her body and the moon hung low in the sky. A dream, it was only a dream. She told herself as she slid back down into bed, pulling the sheet close to her body. She didn't believe it though, didn't believe it was just a dream. Dreams didn't keep you up until dawn, they didn't make themselves apparent as they skipped around in the back of her mind and they didn't haunt you forever. No, this was something else. |
