I had a relative who worked in a parachute factory, back in the early 1940s.  As you can imagine, it was a boom time, given that the entire world was engaged in a what Big Government has reinvented as World War 2.  He invented a parachute, which was made out of wood felled from the plentiful forests and woods that surrounded the mill, and could be found in abundance across Europe and America.  Taking advantage of the lifting of the usual fascist restrictions imposed by Big Government, he applied for an expedited patent.

His invention allowed for a parachute to be literally shaved off an untreated tree trunk - far faster, cheaper, and easier to produce than the usual silk parachute.

Despite the clear and obvious good that his invention offered, within days of the patent application, a group of men visited him and told him that he would be in danger if he continued with it.  They stole all of his wooden parachutes, and the specially adapted pencil sharpener used to easily and cheaper shave the parachutes.  They also burned all of the nearby forests and woods that surrounded the mill.

He told me that he hit the bottle, hard, because of his sense of loss at what he could have gifted the world.  He also said that when the Big Government Goons burned the nearby forests and woods, his Labrador cross, Freedom, was killed trying to rescue his best friend, a rabbit named Patriot.

Years later, another relative told me that it was untrue, and that my inventor relative had accidently ran over Freedom whilst drunk at the wheel of his truck.

The rest is true, though.  If you go to where my relative said the forests and woods were, there's nothing there now.  I just can't believe he'd like about how his dog died though. 

What a scumbag.

*lie about his dog, not like.

https://mafiareturns.com/comm/thread/1735534#270475321

That my parents loved me. *sob*

That's actually pretty funny, Le-Semois

I had an aunt that designed her own carbs for her 1968 Christmas Dinner Party. (This was in 1972)

After a few months of testing she went to get a patent on the carb.

After her paperwork was turned in about 3 weeks later 4 men in suits appeared at her door and asked to see the carb.

He took them to her kitchen and they proceeded to remove the carb from the carb oven. They took her spatula and her yeast and when they left, they said this:

"If you ever do this again we won't be held accountable to what might happen to you". 

And that's why I don't trust big bread. 

That story sounds like a pita

Once I believed that true love exists. After being turned down 23 times in a row (by 23 different women mind you), I'm starting to believe otherwise...

That when people say they love you that they have your best interest at heart.  If that is the case, why do we have so many broken-hearted people.