Petah is a duck, as many people know, but did you know how such a duck could end up in a life of crime? How that innocent orange duck bill could be covered in blood and gore? How his webbed feet could walk over bodies and he could kick people’s pulled fingernails across the concrete?

It was a foggy day by the lake when this dark duckling hatched. The first thing he did was dip his beak against the wet ground and tear a worm in half, eating one half, and letting the other writhe on the ground. This was a sign that this was a seriously dark duck. The other ducklings all were scared of Petah, and ran away from him. A baby Petah waddled his little webbed feet to town, where he stopped at a general store. He bought himself some corn, and saw a Cops and Robbers child’s costume for sale. He took the robbers’ highwayman’s eye mask, and exited the store. Of course, this duck didn’t pay for shit. He sat on the curb, eating his corn, when he heard a woman scream… Bubbles was her name and she was screaming about someone stealing her purse to distract the cops while some of her men robbed a liquor store. This baby duck Petah saw the men carrying the crates from around back, while she screamed. Petah waddled over and nudged Bubbles with his bill. She picked him up, and took him home. Bubbles, not knowing how to care for a duckling, gave Petah a can of tuna. Petah would quack trying to communicate that this was not suitable for a duck, but Bubbles didn’t care.

The pair of them began a business of robbing trains, with Petah’s lil robber mask on at all times. One day they were on a train, and Petah was on the top trying to avoid detection, and a train patrolman heard his webbed feet clattering above. This would become Petah’s first showdown. The patrolman climbed up to the roof of the train, and drew his gun. Petah looked up, and his mask blew off in the wind, lost forever, but not forgotten. He started at the man, now a teenage duck. Petah quacked at the man, and the man’s footing faltered. Petah quacked again, and drew his gun. The man fell off to the side of the high-speed train. Petah opened his bill a bit and caught some bugs in his mouth, and kept on his mission to one of the cabins up near the front where there were some jewels, and cans of peas.

As Petah’s life of crime continued on, he started getting into the drug trade. He was dealing heroin to all the other ducklings, keeping them all hooked. He also ran girls, but human girls, to satisfy the needs of all the men in town. If any of the johns roughed up a girl, it was Petah who would step in and beat them senseless with his bill. One time a john had tried to rob one of the girls-for-hire, and Petah busted in to the room, quacking. The man froze. He knew Petah was a tough duck. He begged for forgiveness, and Petah moved into the room slowly, looking at the man. He hugged the man, and slit his throat. The blood poured over Petah. He as a red duck. Petah flapped his wings around in the blood quacking happily as he went through the man’s wallet.

The origins of Petah have been a mystery to many, but we’ve all heard stories. If you hear a quack in the night, you best speed up your step, because if it’s that damned duck, it might be your last midnight stroll. Or, if you're lucky to have some worms in your pocket, have those ready to bargain for your life. 

Petah was a duck, it was known on the streets. The sound of his initially fluffy wings didn't stir up much, but when his wings become long, big and feathered he did make a storm now and then. With the rhythmic stomping of his feet, he always was on the lookout for worms, the ones deep in the ground were his favorite and whenever he got one he let out happy little quacks. Gentle ones, not like the big loud ones he'd use to look for she-ducks to do the dance of 4 wings with.

The kitty remembered also the early days, when he and petah lived with old mistress Bubbles, who he loved rubbing his tummy every day. She was so nice he didn't even charge her. But one day she brought back this little yellow fuzzy thing, Fluffiest had been jealous and tried to chase him away. But the little peeps made him hesitate, and when the little duckling offered to give him the tuna in exchange for breadcrumbs they become very good friends. They often took naps together, basking in the sun and shared tips on how to stay very fluffy and soft. But as Petah grew up his fuzz disappeared and he became more adventurous. Often going far and wide, it was like an adventure they used to see on tv in the cartoons! Kitty sometimes wnet with him, hunting for mice he did not acquire a taste for worms. They'd be gone often for the full day making mrs bubbles sad. But when they came in purring and quacking she'd clap her hands excitedly and petted them for an hour. After that kitty would let petah eat his kibble and finish the tuna the old lady kept putting out for the duck.

Life was good, life was plentyful, the duck even decided that migrating for the seasons wasn't needed and lived a long and happy life with his kitty friend.

Paradise had always admired the friendship between the sweet, pretty duck Petah and the cute and lovely but bad cat Fluffy. He was always walking along trying to get pets on his tummy. She bought food for the duck Petah to grow up healthy and happy and for the cat Fluffy, as well as some toys for them. Petah the duck used to come fearfully close to her and pinched her hand a little, after that Paradise put his food in the little blue pot with drawings of little clouds and he ate happily. She did this in the hope that the little duck would help his cat friend become a more sociable and happy little creature. 

The two little animals with time stopped being younglings and became stronger and united by friendship, where one went the other always accompanied. On a beautiful sunny day, Paradise took them both for a visit on her farm where there was a beautiful lake for Petah to swim and cool off from the heat that day. Fluffy was playing with a butterfly that kept flying over him. Paradise sat in the shade and watched them play while enjoying some drinks and chatting with friends who had been invited too. It had been an excellent, relaxing day, she thought as she now recalls that sweet memory.

I'm going to be starting a business selling binoculars. 

They can be quite awkward to carry around, but they really help boost your vision.

Would you guys be interested in buying some? 

Mickey sat leaning against the hood of his Lincoln Continental smoking a Morley^TM Cigarette. Part of him wondered how much money he would make if this were some kind of cheesy Gangster Movie due to all the product placement, right down to his Huntsman of Saville road suit and Joseph Cheaney & Sons shoes. Of course his suit was bespoke. Now that he was a Godfather he would never buy made to measure again, and it certainly wouldn't be ready to wear like CLO wore. You see Ready to wear is what you call it when you buy a suit 'off the rack', they make general assumptions about the 'average' person, and make a suit to fit that average person. Then if you are a little wider here, taller there etcetera, the tailor can make some minor adjustments. Most mobsters wear ready to wear given that they have the fashion sense of the the average 6 year old. Next we have Made to measure, or MTM. Made to measure is made to your measurements taken at an initial fitting, and then altered at a final fitting before the suit is completed. Most Nouveau riche, buy MTM. They know they want to look good, they just haven't worked out how to achieve that look. Mickey himself always bought MTM for the courtroom. Trials were a show, and if you didn't look the part, then jury would never believe the role you were selling. Many a decent Lawyer had lost an innocent man his freedom because they just didn't look the part and the jury believed their rival. Finally you have bespoke. Bespoke takes at least six fittings, with the tailor constantly tweaking the measurements and fabric at every sitting. Bespoke always fitted. It was a suit crafted for you and you alone. If someone else were to pick up your $2,000 bespoke suit and put it on, even if they were the same general build, and would buy the same ready to wear suit, they would look like 10lbs of monkey crap in a 5lb bag. Bespoke was the reason why Mickey always looked so good and Fluffiest_Tummy just looked like a fat cat out in the rain.

But that was all by the by. Here were three people talking about Duck, and one talking about binoculars. The binoculars could be ignored. Mickey had naturally perfect eyesight, so didn't require binoculars. But this Duck thing was interesting. Petah was the name of a duck apparently. A very talented duck no doubt, but a duck none the less. Mickey knew of the Aylesbury Duck, the Blue Swedish Duck, Muscovy Ducks, Pekin Ducks, and even the Saxony Duck, but he had never encountered a Petah Duck. Still, despite all the things Macarena, Paradise and Fluffiest_Tummy were proclaiming about this apparent 'super' duck, they all paled into insignificance compared to the greatest duck ever to hit the streets.

Crushing out his cigarette under foot, Mickey got into his car and spoke to FastValentino

"Take me to Sun Wah BBQ, I have a hankering for some Peking Duck."