FHM walks out of the newly created For Him/Her Magazine offices.  20 years in the making, this was exciting stuff.  Meetings with journalists, researchers, market-researchers, and mob bosses had given FHM the confidence to make the following speech...

"Friends, enemies, both, and neither.  20 years in the making.  We are, all of us, part of a society, this thing of ours.  We are part of the myths and mythology that make up what is reputed to be La Cosa Nostra.  Therefore, we are here at For Him/Her Mafia Magazine are proud to announce:

FOR HIM/HER MAFIA MAGAZINE.

We plan to use our crack team of journalists and researchers to listen to you, THE PEON MASSES and you nominate the LINEAGE and the EVENT you most want to have featured in our first issue.

What you have to do is this:

Fill in THIS LEAFLET - following the instructions, and select the LINEAGE and the EVENT you want to see us write about.

The lineage and event can be anything in the public domain, or out of it.  We will use all of our resources to find out THE TRUTH.

Want to be part of this exciting event?

We are looking for:

Writers - interested?  Contact me.

Judges - interested?  Contact me.

Treasurer - interested?  Contact me.

So, to be part of history, do this:

Fill in THIS LEAFLET - following the instructions, and select the LINEAGE and the EVENT you want to see us write about.

This is an exciting project, and one that I hope will unify all of us who make up this thing of ours.  We are, all of us, part of it.

We hope to one day introduce a competitive element to this amazing project.

FHM walks back into the FHM Magazine office... 

Wheeler just happened to be passing by the newly opening “For him/her” offices as it’s apparent owner stepped out into the street to make a speech. At first it seemed he was lost for words and he wandered back into his offices. Amused, Wheeler decided to hang around and watch what would occur. After a short amount of time passed, out wandered the man again. This time he had decided what he wanted to say, and belted out his speech unapologetically.

It seemed to Wheeler to be a cross between a recruitment drive and an advertisement for a new gossip/history paper. Wheeler would certainly like to hear more about the history of this thing of ours, especially from the point of view of this assuredly unbiased observer. Something about the man struck Wheeler as being both amusing and honest. Certainly this man would tell the hard hitting facts about La Cosa Nostra, without the whitewashing and bias that others might.

Infact, Wheeler might even offer his own services as a writer, judge or treasurer to the man. Afterall, he was always on the look out for real entertainment and if nothing else, this venture would prove to be entertaining.

Heston takes a leaflet and decides he will have a think about it and maybe fill one in later 

"Who do I want to know about, hmmmm My memory is pretty bad lets hope there is plenty of stories. It would be nice to read something different maybe you need a impartial judge to judge the writing but then maybe I am too green to know a lot of what the content would be to be able to judge that" 

Heston thinks and walks off looking for coffee  

Wheeler thinks back to the stories passed down through his bloodline, before settling on the one that stands out to him the most.
 

“Mr FHM, I would like to hear you tell us about the events and personalities surrounding the LV experiment. The run up to it. What happened during it and finally, what came about to end it.”

A Quick FYI for your next of kin. I had nothing to do with your churlish publication. You mail was not disseminated to my crew, and I entered no response on you silly leaflet. You may be finding this hard to believe, but I want nothing to do with you, your publication or your bloodline. I have more important things to do than spending time on your pathetic existence. As for your so called Agent Neil, why would I care? I don't send secret messages, I am not plotting anything, so if someone in my crew feels like they want to pass mails asking for Witness statements, Shot Reports and general advice to you, they are more than welcome. Maybe you should try and do something with your life instead of hero worshipping and stalking me.

Today I must come out here and confess to the horrific crimes that FHM_1 has committed to me, through no fault of my own. It all started a few hours ago when I was sitting alone in a coffee shop reading one of the wonderful stories that I have crafted throughout my past few days here as a mobster in America. Now, none of you know me, but what you must know is that writing is my passion and being paid for it is even more so of a passion, if not the only passion. So what happens next? Well, I'll tell you what happened.

Casanova pointed towards FHM_1 and sighed. There is a brief moment where he wondered if he should be telling the world about all of this, but it must be said. He couldn't allow this man to get away with such a brazen act of cruelty towards him, or else what other unspeakable terrors would he attempt in the future?

This man came to me in this coffee shop and told me that I was to never create another story like the one that I recently so cleverly crafted. I was then threatened and told in quite the devilish manner that I would have to pay him seven million dollars to continue telling my tale, which to me is quite the egregious sum. I am only a humble Made Man, after all.

Is this the type of person that should be allowed to run our magazines? Or do we stand up and say NO? NO, I WILL NOT BE SILENCED.

You PROVOKED me. 

You ATTACKED me.

You TRIED TO BLACKMAIL me.

But I will keep my head held high and continue to have adventures and not let someone like you bully me into submission. I am going to tell even more stories, and create even more research, and who knows? Maybe there will be a rival budding newspaper. You've created quite the pickle for yourself, and this could have all been so easily avoidable.

Never stop telling your stories, folks. We don't need to sit down and take it. We're stronger than that, we're better than that, and quite frankly? We just don't have the seven million dollars or we most likely would have paid out of fear for our lives. But now, here I am, putting all of the chips down on the table and telling the dealer to hit me. I just hope I don't bust.

Grace nudges the corpse with the toe of her shoe, "Oi, you awake?" she says, nudging again but with a bit more force. "I got that information you were looking for." with one last attempt to rouse the man she finally gave up, she was a doctor damn it, not a witchdoctor and wasn't about to raise the dead.